Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavor, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.
Charlotte Bronte
Sigyn had not always been merciful; she had not always been compassionate or gentle, or thoughtful of others. Her gift of mercy had had to be learned, in all its painful humiliating glory.
In the beginning she had been consumed by anger, corrupted by the poison of hate. It burned so bright that her only purpose became to right the wrongs against her and her mother-her only family that remained in her mother's hall in Asgaard. Sigyn was the product of yet another of her mother's numerous dalliances, along with the rest of her siblings. Freyja had never been one to restrain her affections when it came to men and while Sigyn cared about her mother greatly she resented her mother's antics.
Sigyn had become a lonely child as she was dragged from realm to realm, her mother's tendency to flit unending. Her brothers and sisters had long scattered their separate ways across the realms leaving Sigyn to the changeable clemency of her mother. Sigyn didn't blame her siblings for departing, though at times she wistfully wished they had thought to take her along with them or at least visited more.
Sigyn's mother – Freya, the once glorious Goddess of Love had descended into a madness borne out of jealousy and spurned love. Even in childhood, Sigyn knew that love was the most dangerous emotion of all, hate could burn out and leave a soul a mere shadow, but love could twist even the strongest heart into a molten shell of its former self.
Love was responsible for the corruption of her mother's heart, responsible for her mother's madness, and ultimately responsible for Sigyn's misery. Once, after the war between the Vanir and Æsir had come to an end, Freyja had hoped to marry Odin and she gave him all her heart, laying with him in the hope her love was reciprocated. He had scorned her; instead choosing to marry the Goddess Frigga, casting Freyja aside like rotten fruit along with the unborn child she bore. Sigyn was left in no doubt about her ancestry, her mother made sure her child learned it through bitter whispers and biting contempt.
Freyja's pain and anguish passed on into her daughter like a disease, as if it had poisoned her child while still in the womb. While the rest of Asgaard celebrated the news that Odin's son, Thor had been born, whole and healthy – Sigyn's half-brother- she had felt no joy, instead the hate burned brighter. The pain flared once more a year later when news spread that the King's second son had been born – another half-brother- this one called Loki.
Her mother had cursed Sigyn's birth that day, and her child had made an oath, sealing it her own blood as her mother screeched to the heavens in her envy as the birth of Loki spread throughout the realm. She would destroy the House of Odin; she would master the arts that would allow her to fight against their might. It had been the dangerous fantasy of a little girl who had been desperate for a balm to sooth the agonies her mother inflicted upon her.
All her life, Sigyn had lived with the knowledge that she had been unwanted, her mother made sure of that. And so she studied, she worked hard to become strong, became powerful with magic and alchemy, honing her skill with a bow and sword. And once it was all done, Sigyn would succeed where her ancestors had been unable to in the war.
Sigyn had gone through many titles in her life in Asgaard; the old maid, the widow, the wife, the mother, witch. Where Æsir could be cruel, the mortals were far kinder to the Goddess who showed mercy when others showed none. Sigyn had felt guilt when she heard their names for her as they prayed, begged for her help, or made their sacrifices to the gods. Lady of Unyielding Gentleness, Lady of the Unconquerable Heart, North Star and Victory Woman they called her, all names Sigyn had yet to earn.
It left Sigyn with a sour taste in her mouth and a feeling of inadequacy. Perhaps, that was why a higher power had sent the child of her enemy to her all those centuries ago and why even now after all this time she looked on their first meeting with fondness rather than the loathing she once had. Sigyn knew that she was unworthy of every title bestowed on her, penance was her duty in life now, but in the beginning someone had had to teach her what that gift had meant.
Loki had saved her once, and helped Sigyn more times than she could count. Now it was her turn and as she learned the stories of his coming back from the dead and his destruction upon the realm of Midgard she knew that she had an almost insurmountable task. Sigyn was going to save her husband, from himself if need be. If she didn't she would never be able to look her children in the eye again. Perhaps she would finally earn her titles.
I decided to try a new slant on the Loki/Sigyn story especially when it comes to the Marvel Movieverse. I've been reading a lot of the myths and the theories about Sigyn in particular. I don't think Loki's wife could be a wallflower, I don't think that would interest him. And with a name like Victory woman she must have done something amazing that has unfortunately been lost to us. It's a darker Sigyn but one I hope you will give time to and enjoy in time.
