SG-1 was running, from dozens of Jaffa, towards the Stargate. This wasn't the first time a mission had gone wrong with SG-1 ending up being ambushed and having to run back to Earth with armed hostiles on their six. But yet it never got boring. They approached the gate area. Daniel dialed Earth on the DHD, while O'Neill, Carter and Teal'c fired upon the Jaffa. They heard the Stargate activate behind them.
"Fall back!" O'Neill shouted over the noise of the guns. They all ran backwards, still shooting, towards the Stargate. Daniel and Teal'c jumped through the gate as the Jaffa came closer. O'Neill and Carter was still shooting at the enemy while making their way, backwards, to the gate. Suddenly a staff blast hit Carter in the chest, and almost in slow motion she fell to the ground.
"Carter!" O'Neill shouted as he ran over to her.
He threw his P-90 on the floor and the fact that the Jaffa were still firing at him somehow slipped his mind as he was just concentrating on his team-mates life. He picked her up, her jacket was already drenched in blood and she seemed completely lifeless. O'Neill ran for the Stargate with Carter in his arms and the Jaffa still firing at them. Luckily he ran through the gate unharmed. He ran through and General Hammond, Daniel and Teal'c stood waiting at the bottom of the ramp. They had no idea what had happened on the other side but as they saw O'Neill carrying an unconscious Carter, they knew it didn't go well at all. The Stargate shut off. O'Neill ran down the ramp, still clenching onto Carter.
"Colonel, what happened?" Hammond asked concerned.
"I'm taking her to the infirmary, Sir" O'Neill shouted as he ran out of the gate room.
O'Neill knew there was no time to wait for the medical team to collect Carter from the gate room so he rushed her to the infirmary himself, no matter how exhausted he was. He ran and ran through the halls of the SGC with a dying Carter in his arms, heading for the infirmary. Blood was everywhere and was leaving a trail on the floor. He looked down at her and prayed for her life. He tried to think positive but more and more blood came rushing out of her wounded chest. Trying to push the thought of Carter dieing out of his mind, he concentrated on getting her to the infirmary so the doctors could save her. Finally he reached the infirmary, Dr Fraiser and the medical team was already waiting for her as Hammond phoned it in.
"Lay her on the bed, Sir" Dr Fraiser told him.
O'Neill lay her on the ward bed softly and was pushed away by the medical team crowding around Carter. Dr Fraiser took off Carters jacket, blood was everywhere and her black t-shirt was soaked in blood. Carter was still unconscious but you could see the pain on her face. O'Neill stood still feeling helpless, not knowing if Carter was going to survive this time. Daniel, Teal'c and Hammond ran in and stood beside O'Neill. They watched as the doctors tried to keep the critically injured Major alive.
"Colonel, what happened?" Hammond asked still shocked and confused.
O'Neill just stood absolutely still, not reacting in anyway to Hammonds question. He couldn't take his eyes off Carter. Dr Fraiser noticed the blood on O Neill s jacket and hands.
"Sir, are you injured" Dr Fraiser asked.
O'Neill shook his head as he watched the medical team race to save Carters life. Dr Fraiser looked back down at Carter; Carter slightly opened her eyes and looked around in shock and fright.
"Colonel?" Carter asked in pain.
O'Neill hurried towards her, pushing away the medical team. He held her hand and looked straight at her, slightly smiling. It was silent as everyone watched.
"Sir?"
"I'm here, you're going to be okay"
"This is the end"
"No, it s not, don't give up Carter, you can't"
Tears fell from Carter' eyes and O Neill tried to hide the fright in his face. He wouldn't let her go, he held her hand tightly.
"I can't hold on anymore, its too hard" Carter said in pain.
"Sam you can do it"
"I can't"
"Sam!"
A teardrop fell from his eye. Everyone stood around Carter and O'Neill silently and was frightened of the thought of Carter dieing. O'Neill painfully watched her suffer and fight for her last moments of her life. He couldn't imagine his life without her and certainly didn't want too.
"Bye Jack"
"No Carter, you're not. That s an order"
He couldn't believe that Carter was going to actually giving up. He was emotionally hurting so much inside that his stomach was cramped.
"I love you always" Carter breathed.
O'Neill put his free hand on her face, looking into her eyes. Carter held his hand tightly.
"Carter stay with us. Don't do this" O'Neill stressed.
"Always" Carter smiled and closed her eyes.
O'Neill felt Carters hand loosen from his. The heart monitor beeped its last beep. Carter was dead. Everyone stood in total shock and silence. Major Samantha Carter was dead.
O'Neill sat alone on the bench in the middle of SG-1s changing quarters. Thoughts of Carter ran through his mind, he couldn't get her out of his head and he had the most brutal headache to go along with it. He thought back to all the missions they went through together, like the time they got stranded in the ice in the Antarctic and Carter refused to give up and kept him alive. He allowed his mind to slip through the happy and sad moments they had and the times they all stuck together as a 4-man team. He knew it wasn't going to be the same again. Already he missed her science babble, even though he didn't understand any of it. O'Neill felt guilty and blamed himself for Carters death as he should have protected her; he couldn't believe she was actually gone. O'Neill then slowly stood up and opened his locker, he looked to the locker next to his and it had 'Maj. S. Carter' printed on it, he slammed his locker shut and aggressively punched it and then leaned his head on it and closed his eyes.
"God, why did you take her?" He silently said.
Daniel picked that moment to walk in. He looked at O'Neill in concern, while eating a turkey sandwich. Daniel was really upset and still shocked in what had happened, as O'Neill still had not spoken about it. Daniel was greatly upset and hurting but he had no idea what O'Neill was going through. Daniel walked towards him.
"Jack, General Hammond has booked a de-briefing for in an hour" Daniel explained in a soft voice.
O'Neill didn't respond in any way. Daniel was really concerned about O'Neill, he's never seen him like this before, he usually keeps his feelings locked up. Daniel knew about the feelings between O'Neill and Carter as he has known them both for over 7 years.
"Jack you alright, im here if you want to talk or something"
"I'm fine Daniel, thanks" O'Neill answered obviously lying.
Daniel nodded his head and left the room, giving him a little space. O'Neill felt like someone had pulled his heart from his chest and cut it up into pieces. He didn't even know if he could carry on living without her. He knew he would have to get up every morning and come into work knowing he is never going to hear Carters voice, see her smile and feel her touch again, never, ever again.
O'Neill, Daniel, Teal'c, Hammond and Dr Fraiser sat in the briefing room. They couldn't believe what had happened and still they didn't know how it had happened. It was up to O'Neill to brief them, but it wasn't going to be easy. O'Neill just stared down at the table as the others watched him, patiently waiting for him to speak. He finally opened his mouth.
"As Daniel and Teal'c stepped through the gate, a Jaffa. . . a staff blast hit Carter in the chest. She fell to the ground, she was barely alive Sir. I ran for her and held her in my arms as i came back through the gate. I swear to God General i tried but i... it's my fault, i should of protected her" He explained emotionally.
"No Colonel! It's no ones fault, don't blame yourself. It is not your fault" Hammond told O'Neill straight.
"I am the team leader General, I should protect my team no matter what situation" O'Neill got more and more wound up.
"There was nothing you could have done" Hammond explained.
"General, i could of, i should of..."
"Jack!" Daniel tried to calm him down.
"Why, why did those snake headed, slimy, arrogant ba..." O Neill s anger increased dramatically.
"Jack!" Hammond raised his voice.
"They should've shot me, Carters a lot more valuable" O'Neill settled down a little.
O'Neill stood up and left the room. The others sat there silently.
Daniel was sat eating dinner in the commissary as the gate alarm went off. Daniel huffed as he put his fork down and ran to the gate room with the other airmen. Daniel reached the gate room, O'Neill, Teal'c and Hammond was already there.
"Who is it?" Daniel asked.
"The Tok'Ra Walter answered.
"Open the iris" Hammond ordered.
The iris opened and Jacob Carter walked through alone. Hammond and SG-1 made their way to the gate room as the Stargate shut off. Hammond and SG-1 stood at the bottom of the ramp. Jacob walked down.
"I got here as soon as I can, so what s the emergency news?" Jacob said.
Jacob Carter had no idea what had happened. Hammond and SG-1 looked upset and confused.
"I left a message with the Tok'Ra didn't they tell you?" Hammond asked.
"No they said you needed me here as soon as, why? What is it?" Jacob asked getting concerned.
"I think we better speak in private" Hammond said gently.
Jacob walked closer to them.
"Just tell me George. Where's Sam?" Jacob looked around getting more and more concerned.
Everyone went silent. Jacob got more and more agitated.
"Will someone tell me what s going on!"
"I'm sorry to tell you this Jacob, but Major Carter died earlier today" Hammond explained.
Jacob was shocked and the whole room was totally silent.
O'Neill sat at home in his sitting room with a bottle of beer drowning his sorrows, well trying too. The room was as silent as space. Suddenly the doorbell broke the silence. O'Neill didn't move towards the door till the second ring. He opened the door and Teal'c was stood in the doorway with a crate of Heineken.
"O'Neill" Teal'c greeted.
"Hey Teal'c" O'Neill gestured for him to come in.
Teal'c walked and O'Neill closed the door behind him and they both sat in the sitting room. For a few seconds it was silent.
"Where's Daniel?" O'Neill asked.
"At the SGC still with General Carter"
O'Neill nodded as he looked down at his beer bottle.
"How are you coping O'Neill?"
"Fine"
It was obvious that O'Neill was lying. O'Neill thought for a few seconds.
"Teal'c, how do you do it? I mean you're coping with Carters death, well, calmly"
"Meditation helps me release my emotions in a mutual way, O'Neill"
"Right" O'Neill looked down once again at his beer bottle.
"You will be okay over time"
"But that s the point Teal'c, I don't think I will"
"Strength and hope is needed"
"You're a good man Teal'c"
Teal'c bowed his head. O'Neill looked at Teal'c.
"Have you ever regretted something that you didn't do or say and then its too late?" O'Neill asked.
"Indeed I have, but I learned to forgive myself"
O'Neill looked around thoughtfully.
Two days after Carters memorial service, O'Neill sat in the cemetery in front of Carters gravestone. The sky was blue and clear but rain clouds crept slowly from behind the mountains. Colorful flowers lay by her gravestone. O'Neill stared at the stone and could only think that she should be on a mission through the Stargate or even working on something sciencey in her lab. He read her gravestone that read: -
Major Samantha Carter Of the US Air Force A hero and a great loss to Earth.
She will be missed and forever loved By friends and family.
The words to O'Neill didn't do her any justice, but yet no words could. O'Neill sat in front of her gravestone for hours, not noticing it had started to rain. Carter was the only thing on his mind.
"I love you"
The rain fell upon O'Neill, it seemed he didn't realize there was a whole world around him.
Daniel was in his archeology office working on his laptop. O'Neill walked in and stood by the doorway. Daniel looked at him. O'Neill looked tired, upset and stressed.
"Are you alright?" Daniel asked already knowing the answer.
O'Neill walked towards Daniel, Daniel had never seen O'Neill like this, he doesn't usually show his emotions.
"We have to ask The Asgard, they could bring her back" O'Neill explained.
"Jack she's gone, no one can revive her"
"This can't be it Daniel, this can't be the end. There s got to be a way, there has to be"
O'Neill was getting more and more upset and distressed. Daniel stood up and walked over to O'Neill.
"It's going to be alright Jack"
"How, hmmm, how s it going to be alright? Sam s dead Daniel, dead"
Tears started to stream down O Neill s face as he fell helplessly to the ground against the wall. Daniel sat beside him and put his arm around him. Daniel didn't know what to do, just seeing O'Neill like this stunned him.
O Neill was un-conscious on a bed in the infirmary. Dr Fraiser, General Hammond, Daniel and Teal'c stood around him. O'Neill opened his eyes, first everything was clear but as his vision cleared he noticed everyone around him. He was confused in what had happened and why everyone was stood around him.
"Hello" O'Neill said suspiciously.
"You alright?" Daniel asked.
"I think so, what happened?" O'Neill asked confused.
"You passed out Sir, just after Major Carter went into cardiac arrest" Dr Fraiser explained.
"Just after?" O'Neill asked still confused.
"Yes Sir, she's fine now" Dr Fraiser said.
"Fine?" O'Neill was in total shock.
He thought and was in total confusion. He then realized he must of been dreaming the whole time, it was the only explanation. He was relived to hear Carter was alive and well.
"Can i see Carter?" O'Neill asked.
"Of course" Dr Fraiser answered.
O'Neill sat on a chair next to Carter in the infirmary and watched her as she slept. He thanked over and over that she was alive. Carter opened her eyes and looked at O'Neill, she smiled and he smiled back.
"Hey you okay? I told ya you'd make it"
"Yeah I am, thanks"
O'Neill just sat there smiling. Carter smiled wondering why he was acting a little weird.
"What?" Carter asked.
"Nothing, nothing at all. Do you need anything?"
"Erm well if you don't mind, I could do with some ice-cream"
"Vanilla?"
"Yes please"
"I'll be right back"
O'Neill walked out. Before he turned the corner, he turned back.
"I'm glad you made it" O'Neill said smiling.
He walked out grinning to himself as Carter smiled, a smile he knew was for him only.