As she Sleeps (though I prefer Ian - I wanna marry him so badly - when I was reading The Host, when she's kept in the storage cave and Jared's 'guarding' her I was like 'he's definitely watching her in the darkness'. So here is my interruptation of this.)
He can hear her breathe. He's sure she's still awake. It's unnerving; yet strangley the same. But she's not the same. She's not Mel. She's it. Mel's gone. Maybe she's still in there, somewhere. But she'll soon be gone, along with her memories.
It's the same soft sounding breathing pattern Mel uses - used. In, out, pause, in, out, pause, repeat. Do breathing patterns change when a filthy parasite is implanted in the Human? He's guessing they don't; either that or the parasite has the same pattern. But Jared doesn't want to think about that. It only angers him.
He keeps having to remind himself that it's Mel he wants next to him, touching him and kissing him, not the dirty little body stealer. But it kind of definitely hurts to look it in the eyes and know that he used to look in those eyes seeing something completely different. In someways he wants to cry and then murder the thing, but the thought that Melanie had once controlled that body kept him back. The futile hope that she's still in there . . .
He knows he shouldn't be thinking such absurd thoughts - wishful thinking at its worst - but it lingers inside of him. Along with the obstinate longing for the past six months to be nothing but a dream. Images made to be forgotten in no time. Even if this is nothing but a perishable nightmare, he knows those horrible, horrible eyes, once so beautiful they made him smile, would haunt him for a while.
He heaves out a loud sigh, and thinks he sees it flinch. He wants to laugh but doesn't. He simply stares into the darkness, where he's sure it's lying. In a way, he's glad he can't see it, then he'd want to hold it. No. Hold her. Melanie.