A/N: So, hey there! This is going to be about Rebecca Gaugakao (nee Black) and Embry Call. This first chapter (actually, it's a prologue) is in first person, and it's made up of entries from Rebecca's journal. The rest of the story, or at least most of it, will be in third person. Enjoy. (:

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight, not I. I just use her characters as my play things.

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004

I'm a married woman now. Rebecca Jaci Gaugakao. That last name's a mouthful, huh? I considered keeping my own, but I knew Jason would have been disappointed. He would have asked something like, "What's so wrong with my last name, eh?" and gone on some rant or another about how bland my family name is. He has such a temper. But that's alright. He's edgy and daring, driven, determined, and adventurous. Life with him hasn't been boring, and I know it won't be.

Tuesday, August 9th, 2005

Tomorrow is my one-year anniversary! I think Jason has something special planned, but I should probably remind him… He's been so wrapped up with his surfing competitions lately that it may have slipped his mind. I'll just mention it to him when he gets home tonight.

Thursday, August 11th, 2005

Well, he forgot. I can't really blame him. The more he surfs, the better he gets, and the more money he makes from sponsors. It was kind of…sad, though. Sitting at home alone all day and all night. He didn't get home until this morning. Something about celebrating the end of this particular run of competitions. I don't know. I would have liked to celebrate with him, but I can understand him not wanting to drive all the way home to pick me up. We live a good distance from the competitive surfing stretch of the beach, as well as the city. Our house is adorable, though. It's a two-bedroom thing, nice and cozy, and we have neighbors on both sides and behind us—older couples that are usually housing a brood of grandchildren each weekend. I spend most of my time with Mr. and Mrs. Kalolo, the seventy-something-year-olds that live to the left of us. They have four children, each of which is married, and a total of thirteen grandchildren with two more on the way. There are always kids around for me to help out with, and the Kalolos are so sweet. One day, Jason and I will have that.

Tuesday, January 31st, 2006

Jason hasn't been home in a week and a half… I think I'll stay with the Kalolos again this weekend.

Monday, March 27th, 2006

I absolutely love the Kalolos. I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful all of these kids are. Lima, Mr. and Mrs. Kalolo's youngest daughter, is due to deliver her third child in two weeks, so we'll be having a baby shower tonight and everyone is coming—all eight children or in-laws, all thirteen grandchildren, Mr. and Mrs. Kalolo, myself, and two nearly-born babies. I'm in charge of decorating beforehand and taking pictures during the event. I offered to help with the cooking…but Mrs. Kalolo knows how dismal my cooking skills are.

Saturday, April 1st, 2006

Jason came home yesterday morning, and I barely recognized him. His usual laidback choice of clothing was replaced with a crisp black suit, shiny black shoes, and a very chique hairstyle. He looked handsome, and I told him so, but he wasn't happy for some reason. I asked him how his touring had gone—he'd been away for a month, touring around Hawaii with his sponsors—and he didn't seem to want to talk about it. So, I told him about my past month with the Kalolos and the party that I had to leave to prepare for. That's when things went…awry. He was furious, shouting and waving his arms around wildly, his hair being worked out of its gelled death grip. He was still as temperamental as the day I had met him, but I really didn't understand this time. I tried to explain to him that I hadn't been expecting him home until the next day, but he wouldn't hear it.

He didn't let me go to the baby shower. He made me call Mrs. Kalolo and fake an illness… I don't think she bought it, but she was wise enough not to ask too many questions. I was willing to bet all of my measly savings that she had seen Jason's new Mercedes pull into the driveway.

Saturday, July 8th, 2006

Jason left for another tour yesterday. Finally. He had been a complete tyrant since April. I was only allowed out of the house to go to the grocery store. That's it. He only left the house to go spend his money. When that happened, I would sneak next door to talk with the Kalolos and get caught up with the kids.

I miss them, all of them, my giant family. What's more, I miss my little family in La Push. I desperately want to go and visit, but when I asked Jason a few weeks ago he told me flat out that we would not be going to Washington any time soon. He hates the rain and the excess of trees. I haven't bucked up the courage to tell him that I would go alone, but I will. I'll tell him when he gets back from wherever he went.

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

I haven't really updated in a while, huh? Well, there hasn't been much to say. I basically sit at home all day and night now that Jason's home, and my grocery runs are hardly noteworthy. I've taken up drawing and painting—with watercolors because they didn't have anything better at the market than the cheap things children use. Art brings me such joy. I wish I could go out to the beach to use my camera… (I stopped taking pointless photos of this house a few months ago. Who wants pictures of a prison?)

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

Last month, I started saving money in my jewelry box. I only had a few coins that I had found in the couch while cleaning: 59 cents. Now that it has been just over a month of collecting and saving, I have $10.31. It's not a lot, not nearly enough for a plane ticket home, but I refuse to outright steal from the limited funds I'm allotted for groceries. Besides, Jason would notice; he always checks the receipts when I get home.

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

Last night was Halloween…my favorite holiday. I'm sad to say that I couldn't go out to see the kids. However, Jason did leave to "celebrate" with some of his "buddies", so I took the opportunity to hop next door. Mr. and Mrs. Kalolo were so happy to see me; and I, them. The younger grandchildren were all already sleeping, but the older kids gathered around me and told me all of the exciting things that have been going on with them. Some of them even put their costumes back on to do a little fashion show for me. I swear, kids grow so quickly.

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Yeah, it's Valentine's Day. Jason has taken to disappearing for days at a time again, and he left late Tuesday night and hasn't come back. I don't think he'll be back until Monday, at the earliest, so I'm going to stay with the Kalolos. I can't be in this house anymore.

Friday, February 15th, 2008

He came home earlier than expected. Around 2 o'clock this morning, I woke up to the sound of a banging on the front door of the Kalolos' house. (Like I said yesterday, I couldn't stay in my own house anymore…so, was staying with them.) Mr. Kalolo got to the door before I could, and there was my "husband". He was furious and smelled of all sorts of disgusting things. If I hadn't been so scared, I might have been embarrassed. But, I was scared. Very scared. Jason was drunk and there was something about his eyes that I had never seen before, but I had read about that particular gleam in stories.

I left my things in the bedroom that the Kalolos had given me sometime last year, and I simply left their home without a word. I couldn't even look at them as I stepped through their front door. I could hear Jason stumbling along behind me, and I somehow knew what was coming. The front door of our own house was barely closed before he set in on me.

It's a good thing I'm not allowed out of the house, because there is no way I could ever go out looking like this.

Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

I'm pregnant. I wish I could say that this is unexpected, but after my luck the past few years…

Jason, who never leaves for more than a day at a time now, came home late on the day of our anniversary (such as it is) and he was drunk. As usual. I expected him to just sleep in the guest bedroom, another usual, but he busted into the room we should have been sharing happily.

I won't say that I was raped. Because I wasn't. It was either participate willingly or make it worse for myself, so I did what I had to in order to…well, save myself some physical pain. And now I'm pregnant. I have to get out of here.

Saturday, December 27th, 2008

I don't know what it is about holidays, but they make Jason more violent…

I lost the baby today.

Monday, May 4th, 2009

Jason found my savings. All $181.92 is gone. My jewelry is gone. All of my valuable belongings are gone. And I think I may have a broken rib this time.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

It happened again… Jason came home drunk and decided that he wanted to have sex with me. I told him no this time, though, despite what I knew would happen. I was right, fighting is worse. I can't even begin to describe the pain I felt or the violation I still feel. I was raped nearly two weeks ago, and no amount of scrubbing in the shower will get rid of the feeling.

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

I've been having morning sickness, and I have now missed two periods.

I have no money, but I know where to get some. I just have to find a way to get help first… I'll need a car and someone to pre-order the ticket for me.

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

Jason finally left the house today. That or he left while I was sleeping last night. Either way, I ran next door early this morning to talk to the Kalolos. I told them everything. Everything. I don't even have to tell you how appalled they were, I'm sure you can gather that for yourself. Mr. Kalolo sat down at his computer immediately and bought me a plane ticket, no questions asked. In fact, I hadn't even had to tell them that I planned on leaving. My original plan was to ask them to buy it for me, and the day I left I would take the money from Jason's wallet while he slept to pay them back. When I told them this, Mrs. Kalolo seemed a bit offended and Mr. Kalolo told me that I didn't owe them anything, ever. I was an emotional mess after that, of course. They are such kind and amazing people.

Monday, January 4th, 2010

I just got onto the plane that will take me home. I'm terrified. So many new worries are slapping me in the face, and I don't know what to do about them. What if Jason turns his anger onto the Kalolos? What if he tries to find me? What if he does find me? I can't let him near me or those I love. I won't.