Feeling More Than She Can Handle
She had been crying all night. Skye just didn't know how to handle this information. It would have been better left a secret. After everything that had happened, Ward, Hydra and SHIELD falling down around them, finding out about her father was just the icing on the cake.
He was a monster. She was made by a monster. Did that make her a monster too? Was she dangerous? Could she honestly hurt someone? Well, she already kind of had, considering everything she had done to get where she was. Her time between the orphanage and SHIELD was not something she really wanted to think of anymore. But she didn't want to hurt any of her team, her family.
She didn't want to hurt Jemma, her sister by choice. She didn't want to hurt Fitz, who had already been through so much. She didn't want to hurt May, her soul mate or A.C. who had become like a father figure, the only ones she had ever had that knew her so well and still wanted her around. In the beginning, she certainly didn't think they would ever become so close. She didn't know what to do now that she had a family and she knew who she came from.
She wondered if she should just leave. Leave before any of it becomes a problem. Leave before she hurt someone or her father hurt someone. She wondered if they would even let her leave or if she could really do it without them coming after and bringing her back. She didn't want to go though. She wanted to stay and help the world, help her family get back on their feet.
She wanted to know more, about her mother, about where she came from. Yet again she didn't want to know anything at all. She wanted to go back to knowing nothing about her heritage. She wanted to go back to being the naïve girl who annoyed everyone with her endless talking and made Melinda fall in love with her despite her flaws and being nothing like the after Bahrain - Agent May.
Maybe that's why Mel had fallen in love with her, because she reminded her of her better days. When she was warm and showed her emotions. When she didn't care about the rules and thought they were meant to be broken. What if now that Skye isn't like that anymore, Mel won't love her anymore? What if Mel is just going to leave her and they'd end up like Bobbi and Hunter? Skye didn't want that to happen. She wasn't sure she could ever love someone like she loved Mel.
At first she thought she'd be like a mother figure but that all changed after seeing her fight the bad guys. She wasn't sure if May would ever like her like that but she did and it changed her life. It didn't even start as just sex. It started as friendship turned into sleeping in the same bed when the nightmares were too horrible to face alone then it turned into a first kiss, a first "I love you," and the first real relationship for Skye. Mel would be the only person she would love like this, so very much.
The team, the family wouldn't let her do much lately. Only small hacking missions and training. Mel even put off their Tai Chi until A.C. got better. What if they were planning on sending her away? They could be just limiting their time with her and her with their little start up agency before sending her away. Sending her away like every foster home had till the nuns just stopped sending to them.
She didn't want to be sent away, she didn't want to leave. She was confused as to what to do. It was getting harder to sleep. It was already hard to sleep, with the nightmares of being shot, with May never sleeping in their bed anymore. The bed was too big for just her. Now that she wasn't in the plane, the Bus, in her small little bunk, the big beds were just a tad too much when alone. Maybe if she just had her love closer to her.
If May was here then maybe she would feel better. If May was here, she would put to rest Skye's worries. If she was there, she could hold her and tell her she loved her and that she was still Skye. That her parents didn't change who she was on the inside. She would tell her that she couldn't leave her and that no one was going to send her away. She would get her to lie down and she would cradle her in her arms all night, comforting her while they slept. She would remind her that she was family and everyone loved her. That she couldn't hurt a fly unless she absolutely had to.