RUN, MURPHY, RUN!

Rating: PG-13/T

Genre: Humor/Parody

Summary: CRACK, SPOILERS for Silent Hill: Downpour. Murphy was new at this, but he was pretty sure that none of the other guys had to deal with black holes and broken fourth walls. Language warning.

Author's Note: FFFF, SPOILERY FANFICTION AND THE GAME ISN'T EVEN OUT YET. IT MUST BE A NEW RECORD.

I was cruising through YouTube, trying to feed a Silent Hill craving that will not be appropriately appeased until March 2012, and I found this: "Silent Hill: Downpour- Exclusive 40 Minute Preview". Look for that, and you will see this scene. It's about ten minutes in. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Silent Hill. It belongs to Konami/Vatra.

()()

"Oh fuck me."

Silent Hill had produced a number of weird incidents over its long run, the highlights being an apparent fetish for aliens and abduction and an unusual fascination with people sticking their hands into toilets to fish out objects that may or may not have been relevant to the storyline.

Murphy was the new guy, and a first: He was actually a bad guy, and everyone knew that right off the bat. While he was still uncertain as to precisely what he'd done wrong (That wouldn't come for another few hours worth of gameplay), he knew it was bad enough to be in prison for a number of years and thereby opening him up to all of the familiar prison jokes (Being someone's bitch, dropping the soap, etc, etc, etc…)

But this- the hell with this.

His life sucked enough already. But now, apparently, he also had to deal with the brand-spanking-new Silent Hill concept of giant fricking black holes that chased you down like the Rawshocks in Shattered Memories.

"Murphy, run!" He growled at himself. It was programmed into his character to think that talking randomly to himself was perfectly normal, and really, it wasn't like there was anyone else to chat with.

Except the giant black hole.

The one that had just randomly appeared in the wall and was starting to follow him down the hall.

The hall itself was a typical Silent Hill mind-fuck: Every time he got close to rounding the corner, it suddenly extended another several feet: The Hallway That Never Frickin' Ends. Again, Murphy recalled one of Harry's endless runs to the only door in an endless black abyss instances.

Always fun.

Again linking to Shattered Memories, Murphy could not understand the concept of the "look behind you" feature. All it did was let you look over your shoulder to see if you were being followed/how close the monster was to you. It didn't actually help; you see, the monsters were still chasing you, and knowing how close they were couldn't make you run any faster (Because if you were smart, you were already running as fast as programming allowed).

All the same, it was reflex. Like maybe you could relax if the monsters happened to be pretty far behind you. That was why Murphy succumbed to the temptation, hit L1 and looked back over his shoulder.

Nope. The black hole was still following him.

As it is, the only thing the "look behind you" feature ever managed to accomplish was creating the perfect setting for-

WHAM!

…Unfortunate accidents.

In the second or two that Murphy had spent looking over his shoulder, the hall had sudden decided to stop elongating itself- Causing Murphy to run headfirst into the now very unmoving, unyielding wall. It was a truly comical instance that cannot properly be described in text.

Murphy's head spun for a minute or two. When that stopped, his first thought was: Crap. I'm dead. Once it occurred to him that he'd been lying still long enough for the black hole to have caught him by now, he opened his eyes.

And then he heard the laughter.

Each of the main protagonists were there.

And most of them were laughing.

Great. Just great.

"Did you see that?" Heather was practically doubled over in laughter, leaning helplessly on Harry's arm. "Just- Bam!" She laughed even harder.

"Right into the wall! It was like something out of a cartoon," James chuckled helplessly. "I was expecting his face to be all flattened!"

Travis and Henry were the only ones not completely overwhelmed with mirth.

"Here," Henry smiled and helped Murphy up. "You all right?"

"He better be. This whacky-ass town will throw worse than that at him before his story's over." Travis snorted.

"Like Pyramid Head."

"Or the Butcher."

"Or Valtiel."

"Or your dead mother."

"Or your neighbor's giant head."

Everyone turned to look at Henry who, once again, was totally stoic. "I'm not kidding. Have you guys seen the weird shit in my game?"

"We're just messin' with you, Murphy." Alex chuckled, slapping Murphy on the back and unintentionally sending the con spinning. "Only kind of not, because this is Silent Hill. Welcome to Hell, douchebag. Welcome to Hell."

-End

Again, in case you missed it up there: The video I saw this gameplay on was "Silent Hill: Downpour- Exclusive 40 Minute Preview" on YouTube. The particular part that inspired this story was about ten minutes into the demo.