Beloved

by Eugena

Jack thinks about a question Gwen asks in Episode 1x04 Cyberwoman. One shot.

Disclaimer: Torchwood and related characters are owned by BBC.

Beloved

By Eugena

Rating: T

Jack thinks about a question Gwen asks in Episode 1x04 Cyberwoman

Have you ever loved someone that much?

Her eyes plead for an answer. She looks at me as if she knows the answer, but just wants to hear me say it. I get the feeling she knows I need to say it. I need the closure. I need to put the past behind me.

But I can't.

I understand what Ianto did. I'm doing it right now, refusing to let go of the past. How hard should it be?

In that moment, I wonder if I have gained Time Lord senses. I feel myself in The Doctor's shoes – the old Doctor. I'm looking at Rose and the world through her eyes for the first time again. If I take her hand, will it feel the same again?

I understand why he held back. I could have said, "Yes, Gwen, you are the one I will love that much. I see it in our future." But, as I have told her before, knowing the future is only knowing a possible future. She said she would rather not know, so I will not tell her.

For now, I will grieve for my Gallifrey, my Rose. My eyes will betray me, just as his did. I will tell her all that words alone cannot hold.