A/N: This is based on an RP that myself and the girlfriend had where I literally cried, I think I'll be doing two parts for it, but there might be more. We'll see. This is also the longest thing that I've uploaded to fanfiction in a while, I hope you all enjoy!

One thing that was hard, always hard no matter how you looked at it, be it from the outside, or either point on the inside, was unrequited love. It was one thing that Red knew well, but not that the other party member knew. Red wasn't one for confessing his feelings, or talking things out. He didn't care about clearing his conscience, or getting things all out on the table. Although it could be hard sometimes, being around the object of his affection that is, it wasn't so painful that it needed to stop. No, that was silly. If he said something it would ruin everything. Every moment they spent together the other would be worried about him, worried if that touch was okay, and was it alright to mention his girlfriend? It was just something Red didn't want to deal with. He wanted to be able to meet those brown eyes and that snarky grin and to know that nothing was hiding behind them. To know their friendship, their relationship, was the same as it always was.

Anyone in his position would do the same, Red had already decided on that fact. To know someone your entire life and then to find out slowly over the years you were in love with them, when the knowledge they would never feel the same was a cruel one, but it was one Red could live with. What mattered was that his life stayed the same throughout the years. Simple, planned, pleasant. The way he wanted it.

If things changed, if he mentioned it to Green, everything would change. All of his plans would go to shit.

The question at this point may be something like this: but how would Red know it was one sided if he never said anything?

Red knew Green. He knew Green better than anyone else did, Green included in this. He knew when Green liked someone, and who it was. None of those people had ever been male, but that wasn't what made up Red's mind on the matter. He was sure Green could love a man given the right lead in to it. It was unlikely, but it was possible. No, what made him so certain was because Green had never shown one inkling of romantic thought towards him. Not a single lingering hand, a harshened breath, a lasting gaze… Nothing. Not in the romantic way, that is. Their relationship from Green's point of view had just been a friendship, nothing more and nothing less. Sure, it had been a damn good one, but Red knew that's all it would ever be. So he would never say a word, never let it slip. It was because it was love he would never say it, a love he was so sure of, that he could never let the words leave his lips. It wasn't him saying that he liked someone, it wasn't a crush, it wasn't a phase, it was a love he had slowly felt build and build his entire life. A love that was powerful and overwhelming, but Red couldn't say. Because love was something Green wouldn't be able to ignore, it was something that would have to be addressed like it could be solved. But Red knew how he felt, and he had never felt any hesitation in it, any questioning. It was always a certainty, something he was sure of and didn't really care about changing. To try to change it would just be a waste of time.

Or, that's what he had planned anyway.

It had been one ill-fated phone conversation. It had started off with laughs and discussions. They had been talking about their days, how class had been, college possibilities, Green becoming more and surer that he wanted to become a doctor. He had asked Red what he wanted to do, like he always did, and Red had shrugged over the phone forgetting Green couldn't see before answering that he didn't know yet. It was always the same conversation, never showing any inclination to go different than it always did. But it did, that's why this story was being told in the first place. It had hastily shifted on Red's part, asking Green how he was doing with so and so girl, someone whose name Red hadn't bothered to remember. It was just some girl Green had thought was cute or something and mentioned once, nothing special. His brown haired friend had laughed it off, probably waving his hand in the air on the other side of the phone while Red laid in his bed holding the phone against his ear and staring at a wall in the dark. He said he didn't really care about her, something Red would never say but he knew that he needed to hear that more than anything. That one fact felt so good to know, even though Green could change his mind about her at any time. He could find out he was in love with this girl, and there was nothing Red could do about it. But then Green had asked the dreaded question, the one where he wondered if Red liked anyone. He did this every once in a while, even though Red for the most part always said the same thing. He told him that no, he didn't. Green wondered why, said he was attractive and could get lots of girls and Red would laugh it off. Green had even sat him down before and told him quite seriously that it didn't matter if he was gay, just to let him know, he would always be the same loser best friend he had had since they were kids. Red had told him he wasn't gay and that had been that. It wasn't that Red was gay, it was that he was in love with his best friend who happened to be male. It would have happened no matter what Green's gender was. But Red for whatever reason, maybe it was surprise that the attention had been turned towards, answered that yes he liked someone. Green had been surprised, happy even. A darker part of Red, one that he ignored and pretended wasn't real, a part that he hated, didn't like that. He wanted Green to be secretly jealous the way he was, wanted him to wish that he never got interested in any one. Of course Red always quickly shook off these thoughts, they were silly and would never happen, and he would never want Green to feel the emotions that he felt about him. Not now, not ever.

That moment however, filled Red with so much dread that he had wanted to scream. The last time he had fucked up like this, it had been in middle school. He had completely fabricated an interest in a girl named Diana, a very real person. Green had encouraged him to ask her out, to 'get some', his 13 year old hormones were in charge of him at the time. Red hadn't though, choosing instead to lie about being too shy and quickly moving on. Green had brought her up a few more times after the incident, but Red always shut him down immediately, or changed the subject. Those had been the beginning days, when Red's mind was just beginning to wrap its mind around its feelings for Green.

But this time, it was like that Mean Girls quote, it was word vomit coming out of his mouth. When Green asked him who it was that Red liked, if he knew them, Red told him the he did indeed know him.

"Really?" Green had asked in surprise, his voice going up higher in pitch.

"Yeah," Red had agreed panicking, he didn't know why he was doing this at all, and he didn't understand why he didn't just change the subject now.

"Who is it?" Green asked, pushing with his voice, trying to egg Red on.

"I'm not telling you." Red responded quickly. He felt guilty afterword, his voice had sounded pointed, like he was trying to keep Green out. Well… He was, but he didn't need to expand on the reasons for that at the moment.

"Why not?" Green had also been quick to a reply. That made it harder on Red, he didn't know how to handle that. Green was so legitimately interested…

"Because you know them… Well… And I don't want you to tell them…" Red's voice was slow while he replied. It was true that if he told Green who it was that he would tell them.

There was some small part of Red, a point in his brain that was filled with hope. A tiny part of him did want Green to know, so he could hear him respond, so he could see how he truly felt about him, to see if the feelings were returned. He knew they weren't, and he knew they would never be, but there was some part of his brain that was like a 14 year old girl that feverishly hung onto the hope that if Green knew he would confess his own silenced hidden love for Red as well. But that was unreasonable, and not what was going to happen.

"Oh come on! Who would I tell? Whoever it is I'm closer with you anyway. I promise I won't tell."

Red couldn't yell in response, that wouldn't work, it would just show his frustration and Green would be even more keen to find out who it was. Instead Red quickly answered with a quick and short 'no'.

"Come onnnn!" Green said in frustration, the n in on stretching out as he made his point. "You never like anyone! Why can't you just tell me who it is?! They've gotta be something special for you to like them." Oh yes, they were special alright. With stupid brown hair that spiked up, and brown eyes that had layers to them. The kinds that were light but with the dark rim around the outside, the kind that could be stared at. They were like blue eyes sometimes, the way they would change in the light, reflecting and showing all different shades of a color that should seem boring, but wasn't. This person thought they were the hottest shit to ever get a set of legs, and they strutted around on them, full of confidence and charm. The kind of person who you couldn't help but be jealous of, they weren't lacking in anything besides humility. It made Red want to hit a wall and then Green's face, with his fist and then his lips. It was a love that made him angry and happy at the same time, an anger that filled him with a sense of satisfaction, but he knew if he could he would fawn all over Green but… That wasn't an option he had been given in life, and that was something he had to live with and accept.

"They are, but I'm still not telling you." Red wasn't even sure why he kept on talking but it kept coming out, he kept wanting to reply, to satisfy the thirst for knowledge that Green now had obtained.

"Okay… So you won't tell me who they are… But will you tell me about them?" Green asked, voice sincere. He really just wanted to help his friend, his friend who never liked anyone…. Ugh, that made it so much worse.

"What do you want to know about them?" It could be a harmless question… Something Red could just answer ambiguously and move on… Right?

"Let's start of basic!" Green said enthusiastically, but there was also an edge to his voice. He had a plan, Red could tell. He planned for by the end of this to know who Red was talking about. Ha, that was unlikely. "What do they look like?"

"A person."

"Vague. No really, come on. Eye color? Hair color?" Green had a list now, there was no way Red escape.

"Brown, both are brown." How the hell was he going to get out of this?!

The list had continued down, Green pestering more and more, his questions getting more specific. By the end of he had gathered enough information to decide on the matter. He knew Red and the mentioned person were the same age, and around the same height. He knew this person had brown eyes and brown hair, and that they had known each other for a while. He knew that Green and this person were very close (that part had confused him the most). He knew that they were funny, and nice. These were all basic things, but for whatever reason, Green paused.

"Red…" He had said quietly, his voice trailing off. Red could feel his hands getting damp, clammy. They were sweating without him meaning too, his nerves topping. He hadn't meant for the conversation to get as far as it had. He hadn't meant for it to come this close, for him to say this much, for the possibility to be this near.

"This might sound weird but uh…" His voice was so soft, sounding scared to ask. As if he knew what he was about to say was a very large deal, as if he knew it would change things. Red wanted to stop him there, to make this all stop but he couldn't, he couldn't say anything. He could feel his tongue in his mouth, it felt dead. His eyes were wide, terror strong in his chest.

Oh shit.

"The person you're talking about…" Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. "Is it me?"

Fucking shit.