Why I Should Never Touch a Chaos Emereald
I was walking down a street one day when I found something very shiny.
"EHMYGAWD!!SOPRETTY!!"
And I poked it with a stick. Next thing I knew I was falling down from a ridiculus hight of a number a kindergardener would make up like, e4,765,784,547,836,733,473,756,475,475,657,453,375,284,723,097,238,923,098,725,864,859 billiongazilliontrilliontriceratopsshubamaflahflah. I fell on some pink monkey guy with a beak growing out from his face. Poor guy. I would never walk around with fashion sense that bad. His beak pierced my spine and paralyzed my nervis system or something like that and I couldn't move. Then these random people came out of nowhere in particular and this one person said, "Well it happened agian Doctor Chickenplumber, lets get these guys out of here," and they randomly flew the pink guy and me to the hospital.
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In the hospital, I learned Pinkie's actuall name and it was Espio but I really didn't care. So I showed him my shiny thing I found on the street and he was all like,
"OMGOMGOMG!! THAT'S SO PRETTY! IT'S A CHAOS EMEREALD!!"
But we couldn't do anything about it because his horn was stuck in my back and I was paralyzed and stuff.
Then this blue blurr ran by and he tripped on me because the hospital was so sucky and stupid that they just laid me down on the floor and the blue hedgehog guy fell down the stairs and broke his neck and was killed and these random kids that looked like they were made by constuction paper said, "OMG YOU KILLED KENNY...er...SONIC!!YOU BAS-!!" but they blew up and blood splatered everywhere and the doctor came in and cut Espio's horn off and said I could leave but I couldn't cause part of his horn was still embedded in my back and I was in a 6,578,563,456,348,757 year coma untill they finnaly figured out about my back and removed the shard of horn and the hospital blew up.
And that is the meaning of life.