Disclaimer: I don't own K-ON!.

Memoirs

Azusa N. & Patrick S.

"If I could only hold you for one last time…"

Those were the final thoughts that I had before I slipped out of consciousness.

My body felt cold and numb as I saw her kneeling beside me for the last time. Tears were flowing from those beautiful crimson eyes.

Don't cry. It pains me to see you like that. I promised that I'll never make you cry, yet here you are, crying over my lifeless corpse.

I regret that I never said I never said I Love You, but I always let you fell that I loved you in every single way that I could.

Ever since when we were young, I knew that I loved you since I laid eyes on you. Even at the tender age of eight, I had loved you. But, I was afraid, I was a coward. I never had the courage to say what I needed to say, I let go of every single chance that I had.

As I lay dying, the world grew dark, and I saw your beautiful face weep. I can feel my heartbeat fade, as the sounds of this world start to dissolve, memories flashed before my eyes like lightning. Ever since that day I saw you with somebody else , I was jealous. I can't bear the thought of you being held by the arms of another man.

I was filled with hate, anger and despair. I had many sleepless nights and depressing days ever since I saw you with 'him'. How can such a filthy demon like him be with such a pure angel? No never! I'll never let such an unworthy man have you. I took matters into my own hands.

I never knew what made me snap, or what made me do it. I took my trusty revolver and put it in my coat pocket as I sent out to hunt my prey.

I went to your house to say farewell before I embark on this evil deed. I planned to hide as a fugitive after I killed him. But you were not home, so I waited and waited in the dark alley near your house. I was ecstatic when I saw a familiar silhouette emerge from the luminance of the street lamps; it was my angel. But my blood run cold when I saw somebody else, it was 'him'.

I patiently waited outside as he said goodbye to you. I made sure that you went inside before I revealed myself to him. Revolver in hand, I cocked the hammer as I pointed my gun at him.

"How dare you lay your hands on her! You filthy beast! She deserves someone better who'll love her not for her popularity, but for who she is! I thought that you were my best friend, you snake! Better say your prayers, you demon!"

As I slowly squeezed the trigger, I heard a loud gunshot.

Everything went by so fast, that the next thing I knew I was falling backwards. I was shot on the chest by my best friend; I never knew he had a gun. I could see him panic and fled. Even though I lay in the pool of my own blood, I felt no pain. I could say I was relieved. I'm glad that it was over. But then, I could hear your voice shouting my name, but why? Why must I see you before I die? One minute, I faced my own fate, but the mere sight of you makes me want to live? I never wanted you to see this sight; I never wanted an angel, so pure as you, to witness the miserable death of a lowly bum like me.

As I took my final breaths, I had the urge to mutter one last legacy:

"Azusa, all I ever wanted to say is I lo-…"

I choked on my own words, my dying gasp came a little too soon. I cursed myself for being so weak. I can't stand the sight of my precious angel with eyes full of tears and a heart full of sorrow. I promised never to make you cry again, yet here I am. Pathetic and broken, as I felt myself stop breathing, I knew that the time has come.

"I love you too, Patrick-kun! I'm sorry that I haven't told you. I've broken up with Sebastian. I never loved him. I was going to call you before I heard a gunshot, I was going to surprise you. Please don't leave me. Let's get married and grow old together. I've always loved you since the day we first met. I've kept it a secret from you because I was so afraid that you'd hate me. I love you, Patrick-kun! Don't leave me!"

You cradled me in your arms as I took my final breath. I could fell something warm and soft touch my cold lips. A kiss.

Don't cry my angel. Even if I die, my love for you never will.