"Sweet and sour baby Jesus! What foul concoction of goat piss, bad dubstep, llama spit, and liquefied raw meat am I reading? For god's sake, whoever wrote this piece of Cow testicles is truly the most evil person in all of history! Who cares about Judas or Hitler or Gail Berman, they're as good as Nelson Mandela compared to this lowly scumbag piece of human SHIT!" I scream, slamming my laptop into the wall.

I shriek and kick and cry and hate, hate, hate, HATE the person who wrote the story. I am the author, I am This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME, and I know I cannot be the only person who has been in this sad, sad situation. What situation you ask? The same problem that got Paul Walker's death more publicity than Nelson Mandela's death, the same problem that has Green olives in glass jars and black olives in cans, the same problem that's got white boys rapping and fat boys acting: Yes, it is the same problem every reader on fears and some of you may even be infected, yes infected with it! This problem is-

BAD WRITING

Don't try and tell me you haven't read a badly written story. It's not possible. It just can't be! Everyone one on here reads, or even writes a bad story. Why, I read one today. I cried on the inside, held a gun to my head and only put it down when I saw a holy image of Percy shimmering in the window. He said: "It's okay author. Don't punish yourself for this, educate the citizens of . You have a few regular readers, spread the word of good writing! Even if you do suck at writing yourself, you still do know some good writing tips! Now I must go, my demigod, farewell for now. Time to fuck some Nymphs!"

And now I am here to talk about bad writing. There are many types of bad writing, but I will just highlight a few I've seen here.

The Cra Sex filled insane WTF are you doing stories- AKA Lemons, smuts, and any other sub types-

Okay, let me just say that Lemons, smuts, and any other sex stories can be wonderful, insanely funny or nice to read, professionally written and just be really good WHEN written by the right person. Otherwise they can be… Well, let me just give you an example down here…

Percy, Leo said, take my dick in ur mouth. Okay Leo, yo got it. Percy put Leo big fat big dick inside his mouth and begun to rapiudly suck on it. after a while leo started to scream in happiness and his cum exploded all over percys face. Percy smiled. Now me he said. Get down on teh ground and then imma going to insert my member inside of youu okay? Now prepare for impact bitch leo said as he shoved his 11 inch inside of percys butt. AHHHHH Percy shrerikd as leo impaled him like that perce yes yes I do put it back in

(Okay, let's end that there!)

Okay, I'm going to stop the example there before your eyes fall out of their sockets and you drown in your own tears from reading that.

Tell me if you want me to make tips and make more examples of crappy types of writing so you know how to avoid stories like that and to improve your writing!

Sincerely,

The extremely fucked up, scarred, demented and peverted author,

This-Story-Is-gonna-be-AWESOME