DISCLAIMER: I do not own Saiyuki or any of its characters. They belong to Kazuya Minekura alone and I have no right over them. But, this fan fiction is written only to ease my troubled soul and that of many others who wish to see Kougaiji and Yaone together…
Kougaiji-sama must never find out how I feel for him…
Yaone rummaged for a box hidden deep inside her cupboard. She carefully took off the lid and saw her diary and her file kept in there. Her diary housed all her feelings for Kougaiji and her file consisted of all the stuff she'd written on him. She removed her diary first and threw it into the fire. As she plunged for her file, a neat white handkerchief with beautiful embroidery fell out. The sight of the handkerchief brought back some memories…
Flashback
"Brother," cried Lirin, "Yaone's hurt!"
"It's nothing, Kougaiji-sama," smiled Yaone, "It's just a cut on my finger, that's all"
"Take this and wipe your wound," said Kougaiji kindly, giving her his handkerchief.
"You don't need to give me your hankie, really," implored Yaone, "it is just a little cut…"
"Are you telling me what I'm supposed to do and what I'm not?" said Kougaiji in a dangerous voice.
"Oh, no," said Yaone looking scared, "Not at all, I'm just…"
"Then, take it," smiled Kougaiji and wiped away the blood staining her finger with it as Yaone blushed furiously.
A few hours later:
"May I come in, Kougaiji-sama?" knocked Yaone.
"Sure"
"I just came to return your handkerchief to you," said Yaone bowing low, "I've washed and dried it. Now, it's as good as new"
"It's all right, you can keep it if you want to," said Kougaiji observing Yaone carefully, "You didn't have to go through all that trouble to return it. You can keep it."
"But I…"
"Yaone, why do you always turn me down?"
"'Turn you down?'" repeated Yaone looking horrified, "I would never dream of…"
"Just look at you," said Kougaiji laughing at Yaone's expression, "I was just joking! But it's my wish that you keep my handkerchief with you," he said smiling serenely, "Unless you don't want to keep it"
"Your wish is my command," said Yaone bowing once again, "May I take your leave, then?"
"Oh, yes, you may. But, I just wanted to ask you, you do like my hankie, don't you?"
"It's extremely beautiful," said Yaone truthfully, "it's my honor to keep it"
"Ok…"
End of flashback
Yaone wiped away the tears that came to her eyes. She couldn't bring herself to burn that hankie. That was the only thing that kept her close to Kougaiji. He had wiped her bleeding hand with it. He hadn't considered her his subordinate then. Could there still be a chance that he loved her?
No, I must not think of Kougaiji-sama like this…I'm a lowly subordinate of his…
Lost deeply in thought as she watched her diary and file being eaten up by the flames, Yaone didn't notice the door of her room open. She was still clutching on tightly to Kougaiji's handkerchief and crying when she felt someone else's presence in her room. In an instant she turned around to see Kougaiji watching her curiously-
"Do you need something, Kougaiji-sama?" said Yaone hastily wiping her tears and slipping the hankie out of sight.
"No," said Kougaiji awkwardly, "I just, er, came to say that, we're leaving right now"
"Now? At this time of the night?"
"Yes, I'm leaving with Dokugaiji. However, I want you to stay here and keep an eye on Lirin. I do not want her following us"
"As you say," bowed Yaone, "But are you sure you won't need my help?"
"No, we'll be fine," said Kougaiji shaking his head and walking towards the door.
"I shall pray for your safety, Kougaiji-sama," said Yaone softly.
Kougaiji had almost left the room when he turned around and said-
"Thank you, Yaone…Take care of yourself and Lirin…"
"I will," replied Yaone looking a little scared at the look on Kougaiji's face. He looked as serene as ever but she had a very bad feeling that something was going to go wrong…
3 nights later-
"Yaone, you're so silly!" squealed Lirin, "How many times do I have to tell you to confess to him?"
"I can't, Lirin. I'm not worthy of a man like Kougaiji-sama," muttered Yaone looking down.
"Oh, don't start that nonsensical 'I'm a mere subordinate' crap"
"But I am, Lirin. We can never be together…"
"Look, if you're not planning to tell Onii-chan about your feelings, then maybe I will"
"No!" screamed Yaone, "Please, I beg you, do not tell Kougaiji-sama about how I feel for him. It will only distance me further from him"
"Fine," smiled Lirin, "I won't tell him. But how long can you go on like this?"
"I'm trying to kill my feelings for him"
"And as if that's going to happen," snorted Lirin, "Not if you keep a file full of stuff about Onii-chan"
"I have destroyed the file," said Yaone coldly.
"And the handkerchief? I bet you've still kept it"
"Yes, I have"
"See," said Lirin, "You can't get over Onii-chan. It's impossible if he's going to keep moving around you!"
"I suppose you are right…but that still doesn't make me feel like confessing my feelings to him"
"Don't confess if you don't want to," said Lirin looking annoyed, "But I'm sure he loves you too"
"No way," whispered Yaone, "That's not true"
"I'm sure he does. Haven't you noticed how intensely he looks at you? Haven't you noticed the hunger in his eyes?"
"You are just imagining it," blushed Yaone, "He doesn't think of me in any strange way"
"I don't know," said Lirin mischievously, "But when he decides to get married one day, I'm going to suggest you to him"
"No you won't!"
"Oh, yes, I will," giggled Lirin, "I'd rather have you as my sister-in-law than some stupid, idiotic princess of a faraway land"
"I suppose so," said Yaone laughing.
Just then the door flung open and Dokugaiji came running in-
"Hurry up, Yaone. I need your help. Kou's in a very bad state!"
Fear flooded Yaone's laughing face. Dokugaiji was entirely covered in blood. What had happened to Kougaiji? She got up quickly and ran outside with Lirin and Dokugaiji in her wake.
A bloody mass lay in one corner of the entrance hall of Hotou castle. Yaone rushed over to Kougaiji. His flaming red hair fell over his face and his strong, manly arms were covered in cuts and bruises. He had a very peaceful expression on his face and could've been sleeping. Slowly, Yaone placed a hand to his chest. His heart was still beating rhythmically. Heaving a sigh of relief, Yaone checked him. He was very badly injured. If he managed to survive the night…no, she mustn't think this way. She had to be strong and hopeful. She couldn't break down like this. Yaone got up and gently carried Kougaiji (with Dokugaiji's help) to his room.
"Is Onii-chan going to be alright, Yaone?" asked Lirin tearfully following them.
"Don't worry, Lirin," said Yaone kindly, "Your Onii-chan's made of stronger stuff than all of us can imagine"
"What's exactly wrong with him? Why's he unconscious?'
"I haven't checked him properly yet but I think he's broken a rib"
"So, he will be all right, won't he?"
"Yes. I'm sure he will"
"That's nice then," said Lirin weakly and sat down on the couch in the sitting room
Author's Notes: I expect everyone who reads my story to review. Please, try and understand the amount of hard work every writer puts into their story. After all that hard work, a few words of praise and criticism is all we wait for. So, I would appreciate it if you would review…thank you very much in advance. Hope you liked the story so far and I'll update chapter 2 as soon as I think chapter 1 has had enough reviews!