"...and she is third, overall, in her class," the executive said proudly. "She gets her brains from me, but luckily, her looks from her mother."

Seto smiled at the young lady in question. "Then her mother must be quite charming, indeed." Hitomi? Hirotomi? Hiromi? The chief executive director of something. Seto had stopped paying attention to which name, company, or daughter was being paraded in front of him an hour ago. It was supposed to be a Christmas party, but unbeknownst to Seto, apparently the purpose of the evening was to find him a bride.

Now, trapped in the slowest elevator in Tokyo, he was getting the three-minute pitch speech, selling another pretty, talented, intelligent, presumably fertile young woman who would be the perfect wife and mother. And if he wanted a wife or children, he might have even considered one of them.

Right now, all Seto was considering was not slitting his own wrist when they finally returned to the party.

The elevator door opened.

"Kaiba-sama, after you, please." Father held daughter back to allow Seto to alight first.

Maybe I can escape them, he thought, stepping into the venue.

"Merry Christmas!" voices shouted.

Then, abruptly, someone forcefully turned him and lips landed on his own. Around them was open laughter mixed with gasps of shock as the infamous CEO of KaibaCorp was soundly kissed.

A warm, soft, yielding kiss, that might have been worth pursuing if the time, place and occasion were in anyway appropriate. And, of course, if he had any idea who he was kissing. He'd instinctively closed his eyes.

He opened them as the kisser pulled away.

Jounouchi. Jounouchi Katsuya.

Brown eyes went wide. "Oh, snap! Uh -"

"Kaiba-sama," the daughter behind him gasped. "Are you 'that' way? Is this your boyfriend?"

A terrible idea occurred to Seto. He looked at the shocked daughter and the horrified father.

I could rid myself of them, he thought. I could rid myself of all of them.

"Excuse us." He grabbed Jounouchi by the arm. "Darling, a moment, please." He dragged the man to a comparatively quiet spot. "Be my lover."

"I'm - sorry, I - wait, what? Really?"

"Obviously, not really. But, I will spend the rest of the holiday season being ambushed by one veritable omiai after another unless I present these irritants with a reason to stop flinging potential mates at me. From now until after New Year's. I will provide transportation. You simply need to be available."

Jounouchi chuckled. "Unless you providin' cash flow, I'm available when I ain't workin'."

"I'll pay your rent for December and January. Decide quickly."

Jounouchi seemed to consider the offer. "Ok, you get me 24/7 to keep the women away - which is insane, you know that, right? But that's what you get. What's in this for me?"

Seto frowned, trying to decide what might motivate the man. If he wanted more money, he was forthright enough to have said that. After another moment of consideration, Seto offered the only thing that came to mind. "I will never make another canine-related comment directed towards you."

Jounouchi looked surprised, then nodded. "Okay." He dropped his arms around the executive's shoulders. "I'll make it look good." He kissed him again.

It was another kiss worth savoring, but not the place to enjoy it. "Jounouchi!" Seto pushed him back firmly. "We are in a public place. This is not license for you to behave like an unleashed mu-"

"A what?" Jounouchi goaded.

"A…." Seto huffed. "Decorum. Behave with some decorum. I will introduce you to as my partner. We can explain the truth to Mokuba later."

"Okay. Partner."

"Fine. Come." Seto turned to return to the still stunned group at the entrance.

Jounouchi slipped his arm around Seto's waist. "I'm the touchy-feely type. It's more believable."

"I'm re-thinking this idea already." He cleared his throat. "Hitomi," he remembered the man's name, "pardon me for that display. I didn't realize Katsuya would be here already. He's rarely so prompt."

"I wanted to surprise him." Jounouchi gave him an affectionate squeeze. "I haven't seen him all day."

"... yes. Well."

Hitomi sputtered for a moment. "Are you honestly - I mean -" He gathered himself abruptly. "Rather. Kaiba-sama, I wasn't aware that you were currently involved, personally."

"I have not made that knowledge public. Tonight -"

"We're making it official," Jounouchi said, grinning. "I mean, not married - although, I know a great church in New York where we can do that."

Seto glared at him. "Darling, I think the announcement that we are together is enough for one night."

"I'll say!" A voice piped up. "You didn't even tell us, Jou!" Mutou sounded hurt.

"Yeah, well, it's kinda recent. We just sorta happened. But, y'know the right one is just BAM! Fireworks."

"Yes, of course." Hitomi's smile was strained. "Would you excuse us? I see another associate I should greet."

"Of course." Kaiba smiled back. "Do enjoy the rest of your evening." As soon as Hitomi and daughter were out of ear shot he turned on Jounouchi. "Making things official? What possessed you to say that you ill-bred mongr-"

"I'm sorry, you what?" Seto groaned, and Jounouchi grinned. "That's what I thought you said. Okay, not official, just public. Better?"

"Yes."

"Cool." Jounouchi turned to the others Seto had ignored. Mutou, Mazaki, Honda, and Otogi were watching them with mixed expressions of confusion, amusement, and shock. "Relax, guys. Nothin' goin' on. Kaiba's queer, so he's using me to dodge all the chicks."

"I didn't say that," Seto protested.

"Dude, did you see the tail you just swiped left on? Blind or gay, dude, only options."

"The young lady is irrelevant. Once I wed, I will be expected to produce children immediately. As I am not ready for fatherhood, I'd like to delay finding a bride."

"Yeah? Well, I am gay, and I would still hit that every day and twice on Sundays."

"Vulgar mutt," Seto muttered.

"Sorry, didn't catch that," Jounouchi prodded. "Say again?"

Seto sighed heavy. "Please refrain from 'hitting' anyone this evening."

"Only you, 'partner'. I wouldn't want anyone to think I was unfaithful."

"Ehem," Mazaki cleared her throat and looked pointedly over their shoulders.

"But it's nice," Jounouchi spoke loudly and slipped his arm around Seto's waist again. "I can be almost as lovey-dovey as I want. Almost. I promised I'd behave in public."

"Kaiba-sama?"

They all turned to see an older man with two younger women.

"Ah, Hitachi. A pleasure. Darling, this is the chairman of the Hitachi Electronics games division. Hitachi, my...partner, Jounouchi."

"Jounouchi-san." Hitachi bowed. "I didn't expect - that is - how - unexpected."

"Believe me," Jounouchi laughed, "I'm as surprised as you are."

"Surely you you are not going to tell me that one of these lovely young ladies is your wife?" Seto asked.

"Oh, no! These are my daughter's - Miyoshi and Miyuchi."

"Ladies. Charmed."

The evening continued. It seemed to Seto that every executive brought a daughter, granddaughter, or niece, and Jounouchi's presence rebuffed them all handily. He was able to eat, drink and relax for once. "I'll have to do this more often," Seto mused.

"Do what?" Jounouchi sipped his drink.

"Feign a lover. This event has been considerably more pleasant."

"Why not just get a lover for real?"

"Women assume all roads lead to marriage. I quickly got tired of explaining that wasn't my intention."

"An' you ain't gay."

"I've never had an opportunity to date a man."

"Nonsense!" Pegasus startled them both. "You could have dated me at any time. So after years of competitive name calling, I'm curious what lead to this development."

"An unexpected turn of events," Seto smiled. "And fireworks."

"Yeah, it was definitely the fireworks for me, too." Jounouchi grinned.

"I see. And here I thought you might be faking just to avoid something arranged. Of course, you wouldn't do anything that dishonest."

"I assure you," Seto smirked, "our relationship is not make believe."

"Yeah," Jounouchi agreed. "I couldn't pretend I love this guy."

"Well in that case, mazal tov."

"Hey, Jou." Honda joined them as Pegasus left. "It's getting kinda late. You ready to head out? We got a double shift tomorrow."

"Crap! I forgot about that!" He downed the last of his drink. "I gotta fly, Kaiba."

"With another man? I think not."

"Seriously? Anyway, I gotta work tomorrow."

"We," Seto stressed the word, "have a luncheon at the Yomenoshima Botanical Garden. I will pick you up at noon."

"No kidding?" Honda shrugged. "We are supposed to be working that luncheon for the caterer."

"You agreed -"

"I know! Look, let me off the hook tomorrow, and I'll work something out for the rest, ok? I can't just back out an' leave 'em short handed like that."

Seto was torn. On one hand, he knew he was being unreasonable to insist that Jounouchi drop everything with no notice. On the other hand, however, last year an actual marriage proposal was held in the orchid dome and Seto did not want to be badgered into a repeat.

"Look, I'll get out of it as quick as I can. I'll see if somebody can cover my shift. You're not one of those clingy guys, are you?"

"Certainly not," Seto snapped. "You are unavailable. That is unfortunate but hardly a crisis."

"Too bad. I was kinda hopin' you were." Jounouchi stroked his shoulders gently. "I'll see you as soon as I can tomorrow." This time his kiss was soft and lingering. "Okay?"

"Fine," Seto huffed.

Seto spoke to a few more business partners until someone introduced him to their unmarried cousin. He escaped the conversation at the first opportune moment, and left for the night.

Waiting for the elevator, he noticed the Christmas-themed heart-shaped sign. 'Steal a kiss under the mistletoe.' Above it, just over the elevator door, was a sprig of mistletoe. He must have been standing there when Jounouchi grabbed him at the start of the evening. How cliche.

The trip home was uneventful.

The lights and TV were on in the living room, which surprised him. It was a school night and his brother should have gone to bed hours ago. Seto couldn't help smiling fondly, though, when he found Mokuba sleeping on the couch. He kissed his cheek tenderly.

Then Seto put on a stern frown and shook the boy. "Mokuba! It is well past your bedtime. Why are you in a public area of the house?"

"Huh?" Mokuba yawned. "Oh, Seto. Hey! How was it?"

"Fine. You are supposed to be in bed."

"Yeah. Sorry. I wanted to ask you something." He picked up his phone and began searching. "Hold on, let me find it."

"A homework question?"

"Eh, not really. Okay. This. What is this?"

KingofGames sent a text message, a photo of Jounouchi kissing Seto. They were next to the buffet and several surprised witnesses. Above them was more mistletoe and Seto could just see the heart-shaped sign behind Jounouchi's elbow.

"I see." Seto nodded. "That would explain it. There must have been several around the room."

"There's an explanation in there?"

"Yes. The mistletoe. There is a western tradition of kissing a romantic interest under a sprig of the herb. Jounouchi was solidifying our story."

"Your story?"

"That we are lovers."

"WHAT!"

"Calm down. Jounouchi is pretending to be my lover for the holiday season."

"WHAT?"

"This evening it was marvelously effective."

"Your crush is pretending to be your boyfriend?"

"I am not in middle school. I do not have crushes."

"Oh, does unrequited love sound better?"

"Jounouchi and the other idiots attempted to play a prank - I suspect; I suppose I should have asked him about that. Regardless, he took advantage of the mistletoe tradition and kissed me as I exited the elevator. I took the opportunity, and managed not to hear the word 'marriage' for the entire evening." Seto amended himself. "Well, once, but it was… not in the usual context."

"And Jou agreed to this?"

"I promised to supplement his income for the next two months."

"Oh my God. You are paying your crush to be your boyfriend. This is actually a thing."

"Bedtime is a thing. You have school today."

Mokuba stood up, shaking his head. "A fake boyfriend. Unreal."

Both brothers went to their respective rooms, the younger in disbelief.

Only in the secure privacy of his own room, in bed, with the lights off did Seto allow himself to relive the pleasure - the passion - that was a night of kisses from Katsuya. Seto would have melted through the floor if the occasion had allowed it.

A touchy-feely, lovey-dovey boyfriend for the next three weeks. Nirvana. Sheer heaven. Perhaps after New Year's, they could extend the arrangement. Not forever, Jounouchi would likely chaff before Boxing Day. But if they could last until Valentine's, they could have a spectacular break up and Seto could have a justification for appearing heartbroken and disinterested in any partners.

Until then, however, publicly Jounouchi was his to kiss and to hug. What a lovely Christmas gift.

The next morning, Seto was greeted at his office by the KaibaCorp board of directors. The Big Five, his adopted father used to call them.

"Is this some sort of prank?" Legal yelled. "Did you think this would be a great gag?"

"Calm yourself." Seto set his briefcase down and took off his coat. He had not considered the board's opinion the previous night, but their approval was not necessary. "I should think a civil greeting was the least I could expect. Please. Allow me to at least offer you tea before you rail against how I decide to run my company."

"Kaiba-kun," Accounting started, as if Seto were a beloved nephew, "I'm sure you think that a kiss or two for shock value is all in good fun, however -"

"Ah, I see." Seto feigned surprise. "You are hurt that I didn't disclose my relationship with Katsuya here first."

"Don't play games, boy!" Operations snarled.

"I'm not, I assure you."

Accounting gestured for restraint. "So you are telling us that you, Kaiba Seto, heir to Kaiba Gozaburo and one of the largest fortunes in the country, are gay, and are dating a man you once described as being too worthless to waste the time even to duel?"

Seto shrugged. "He is a third-rate duelist, yes. We haven't spent much time dueling recently."

"You are sleeping with this man?" Personnel asked in disbelief.

"Well," Seto smirked and thought carefully about his response. "We haven't slept together, no." He grinned as his implication garnered shock and horror from the group. "I did not realize you all would have such a strong reaction to my having a homosexual relationship. Didn't we just have a marvelous third quarter meeting in which we told the stockholders how open and inclusive we are? Did we not just tell the world's next generation that we hear their concerns and we are with them?"

"That hogwash was to boost millennial sales!" Tech dismissed. "That LGBT-XYZ nonsense is this year's cause du jour. It used to be the plight of the poor. They'll make up some new cause when they get bored with this one. You're young, Kaiba. Trust me, you don't need to dream up a boyfriend for those idiots."

"Oh but I haven't. I asked Katsuya if he was willing to be my lover. He said yes. If I quote 'dreamed him up' it was wholly for myself, and not for either pandering to the stockholders or shocking you all. Although I do admit watching you burn with jealousy is most entertaining."

It was not a productive meeting. The board spent most of Seto's morning trying to convince him to not only end the 'prank' with Jounouchi, but take the whole matter of a wife and children more seriously.

The botanical garden would have been a welcome respite had he been able to avoid the topic of marriage there.

Unfortunately again the association's annual holiday luncheon coincided with a pair of omiais. And the couple who'd engaged at last year's event were attending - as newlyweds.

"It was only their second date, officially," the woman speaking had started the conversation about botanical fuels and had somehow seguawed it into a discussion about the proposal. "They are proof that arranged pairings can be much more efficient than all that Western style dating."

"So true," another woman replied. "And yet still romantic and personal. I think this current generation has quite the advantage over the old days."

Four of them had cornered him. Gone was the quid-pro-quo tactic of his male business partners. They had presented brides as the price for future opportunities.

No. Today he was assaulted by the female executives of his competitors. The wives and mothers. A few grandmothers. These were the woman who did not earn their positions by playing coy. He'd been waylaid the moment he set foot through the door and hadn't had a moment's peace since. Less than an hour after arriving, he was well past ready to leave.

Be civil, Seto reminded himself again. These hens are worth almost six billion to KaibaCorp. Just keep smiling.

"But like any partnership, the key, of course, is understanding what both sides want." The senior matriarch of the group pinned him with a quelling stare. "So. What - exactly - do you want, young Kaiba-san?"

"Naturally, a partner as wise and charming as yourselves."

"A pretty face and pretty words." This one was the wife of a CEO and the daughter of a Yakuza. "You could please almost any woman. Help us find one that would please you."

"What a pity my preferred choices are already spoken for."

"Three of us have daughters."

"He ain't lookin' at your girls." Jounouchi's voice caught Seto off-guard, but made him shiver. "Try tossing your son's at him."

Three of the women gave a look of distaste to the waiter who dared speak to them. The fourth gave Seto a curious look.

"I had heard rumors, but disbelieved. You attended Sega's event last night with some gaming idols?"

Seto felt himself smiling as he enjoyed Jounouchi's feigned jealousy. "A gaming idol, yes. My current... partner."

One of the women caught the connection. "A temporary fling to pass the time," she dismissed. "And, frankly, your position does not allow you the luxury of a perversion. He must realize that he will never be more than a servant. Kaiba must have a wife and sons for the future of the family."

"A perversion?" Jounouchi's expression darkened.

Seto took the two steps to reach him and touched his lips firmly before the blond hothead could speak further. "Ladies, you will excuse me."

"Kaiba-kun," the eldest of the group knew Gozaburo. "You may enjoy dishonoring your father's memory and your family name now. But, inevitably, you will bow to tradition. Have your plaything today. Know that it will not be forever."

"You are correct, Takabana." Seto nodded to her. "In part." He looked at Jounouchi. "I know this will not last forever."

Jounouchi kissed his fingers. "I'm here as long as you want me here, babe."

"Forever is a rather long time."

"Sounds about right to me."

"Oh, honestly!" The youngest of the women huffed. "It's all a game to you, isn't it? Fine. Play. Do not expect Toshiba to be waiting when you come to your senses." She swept off. The others followed.

"You'd get mad if I tried to kiss you here, right?" Jounouchi asked with a calculating look.

"You have no idea what decourm is. It's not even a concept to you. This a public place. Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"Mako finally got here. He's covering the rest of my shift today. Plus, he can cover the rest of the week."

"Marvelous. Change clothes. I'd like to introduce you properly."

Jounouchi smirked. "Sorry, babe. This is all I got with me. You want me to go home an' find my good shirt, that's gonna take a bit."

He looked like a waiter, minus an apron and a tray. If anything was less acceptable than dating a man, it would be dating the staff. More to the point, no one would take that seriously and Jounouchi would be dismissed as little more than a prostitute.

He dialed his phone. "Bring my car around." He hung up. "Come."

"If you want to stay, I can see if Honda brought a change of clothes."

"Hardly. He actually has worst taste than you."

The car and driver were at the entrance when they arrived. Seto studied the man holding the car door open. "Not ideal, but better. Katsuya, take off that vest and the bow tie. Roland, give him your jacket and tie."

"Yes, sir." The driver handed over the items.

Jounouchi fought for the tie for a moment before Seto took over. "Sorry, dude. I wear a tie, like, once a year."

"You wore one daily in high school."

"I kept one tied, and never untied it. Just slipped it on and off like a necklace."

"You'll have to untie this one," Seto pulled the knot tight. "It's called a Trinity knot. Not common, but very stylish. That will be all, Roland. I'll call when we're ready to leave." Seto looked Jounouchi over again. "Leave the jacket unbuttoned. It doesn't look quite as -"

"Kaiba-sama!" An unfamiliar voice called out. "Forgive me, sir." The young man bowed. "Seiko Yoko-sama was hoping to speak with you before you left."

"Of course," Seto sighed.

"You know her?" Jounouchi asked.

"Another potential bride."

"Oh." Jounouchi slipped his arm around Seto's waist. "Well, let's not keep her waiting."

The next two hours made up for the rest of Seto's day as Jounouchi pretended to restrain affection to publicly acceptable levels while he was introduced to most of the room.

The association's events were normally dull discussions about tech industry issues with wine and cheese thrown in to make it palatable. The holiday luncheon, however, was supposed to be more social. Seto knew he wasn't the only young executive having bridal candidates pushed on him at this romantic time of year. He and Jounouchi were seated with two other eligible bachelors.

But the pressure on him to marry seemed exceptionally high to Seto. Most families had other possibilities if the eldest son had no heir. People were acting as if Kaiba would vanish tomorrow if he did not wed today. Marry, have several children, and guarantee the next generation. Who he married was of little consequence so long as she was from the correct breeding. Even that might be ignored if she was pregnant at the ceremony. This was about reproduction. How he felt about it, or her, was absolutely irrelevant. Love wasn't even an afterthought.

"Kaiba-san?"

The voice pulled him from his thoughts.

"You okay, babe?" Jounouchi stroked his cheek. "You looked kinda lost in thought there."

"Yes. A bit distracted," he admitted.

"Yamaguchi-san and Miki-chan are getting married in February. Do you wanna go?"

Seto looked at the couple. "Congratulations and best wishes. Of course Kaiba will attend. I didn't realize you were engaged."

"Neither does my father," Yamaguchi grinned slyly. "But once it's done, it will be harder to undo. You two can be our witnesses."

"If we're still together." Jounouchi smiled, but wistfully.

"I thought you said 'forever' sounded like the right length."

"You drivin' this train. Is that what you had in mind when you asked?"

"I didn't think it was an option." Seto wasn't sure if they were talking about the same thing. "If I amended my original answer to 'yes, really', how would you respond?"

"Your original answer?" Jounouchi looked confused. Then thunderstruck. "Really? Oh fuck yeah."

Seto pinched the bridge of his nose. "Language, please."

"Might have been appropriate," Ito, their other tablemate, chuckled. "What was the question?"

Jounouchi grinned. "Nonna your beeswax." He turned back to Seto. "Like I said, fireworks. As long as you want."

"You also said you couldn't pretend."

"I've never had to."

"I see." Seto set his jaw to help keep his breathing steady. This was part of the act. Jounouchi was just trying to make it look real. "So if I suggested that Yamaguchi be our witnesses in February, how would you respond?"

Jounouchi's mouth opened but no sound escaped. Several seconds went by.

"Jounouchi-kun?" Ito gave him as shake as the two women at the table squealed. "I think you broke him."

"I must have," Seto smirked, trying to remain nonplussed. "This puppy always barks about something."

That broke the spell and Jounouchi huffed. "You said…." He stopped and considered something. "Okay. Puppy you can keep. But anything else, and I'm divorcin' your ass."