A/N: Hello! This is something I've had sitting around in my Google Drive for ages, and I finally decided to post it. Takes place in my (now very, very AU) "Ode to the Family" universe, but can absolutely be read as a standalone.

Alex slipped into the dark room, taking care to muffle the click of the door as he shut it behind him.

For a brief moment he held his breath, waiting, but the sound of deep breathing punctuated by snores remained uninterrupted. He could hear Jo in the kitchen downstairs, putting together something for him to eat even though he wasn't hungry, but Janey and Adam didn't budge from their beds. They were totally, blissfully asleep.

It must be nice, Alex thought, to be able to sleep like that.

When had he last slept like that?

Not in a long time, that was for sure.

It was already past midnight, and his brain was moving a million miles a minute. He couldn't stop replaying the events of the day in his head, no matter how he tried.

One minute everything had been fine, and then the next-

Janey let out a squeaky yawn in her sleep, both arms stretching above her head and then relaxing to rest on her pillow. Moving slowly, Alex made his way to the side of her bed and crouched down beside it.

He didn't want to touch her, to rouse her from her peaceful dreams, but he couldn't help himself. Alex laid a hand on his daughter's stomach, giving a little tickle that made her squirm, but didn't quite wake her up. Janey thankfully stayed asleep, her father watching over her. Underneath his hand Alex felt his little girl's chest rise and fall to the rhythm of her breaths, and he closed his eyes, sinking it in.

This was what he needed- to see that his kids were okay. To feel Janey's breaths underneath his hand so the sound of the monitor flatlining earlier would be erased from his mind.

It was only when his legs began to ache from crouching so long that Alex moved his hand to tuck Janey's hair out of her face, placing a soft kiss on her forehead as he stood up.

"Mmm?" Janey mumbled in her sleep, her little eyebrows furrowing.

"Shh baby girl," Alex cooed, "Don't wake up, it's okay."

Whether she heard him or not, Janey seemed to understand, because she didn't make another noise. She lay still in her bed, and Alex finally stepped away.

Across the room, Adam lay on his side, facing the wall. He didn't make a peep as Alex sat down on the edge of his bed, just curled in deeper on himself.

But this time Alex really couldn't help himself. He lifted the four year old into his arms, cradling him against his chest as he startled awake.

"Daddy?"

Adam didn't open his eyes, but reached a little hand up to feel at Alex's face. Alex chuckled, taking his son's hand between his fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Hey big guy," he whispered.

"Hi Daddy," Adam mumbled back, snuggling even closer to his father's chest with a little sigh. The words Alex wanted to say got caught in his throat, lost to the relief of finally having his son in his arms. He rest his cheek against the top of Adam's head, taking in the sweet smell of shampoo from his still damp hair. They must have had a late night tonight, must have tried to wait up for him.

Despite his best efforts, Alex could feel tears beginning to well up in his eyes. Just a few hours ago Janey and Adam had been awake, waiting for him to come home. He could imagine them curled up in their beds, trying to stay awake while Jo read to them because they knew that he should have been home by now. They had probably drifted off to sleep still hoping that he would come home to kiss them goodnight.

Instead, he had been telling a father that his one year old son had died in surgery.

"I love you so much buddy," Alex said finally. In his arms, Adam giggled.

"I love you too daddy."

In that moment, Alex didn't want to let him go. He wanted to hold him like that forever, protecting him from the rest of the world. If they just stayed like that forever, with Adam tucked away in his arms and drifting back to sleep already, nothing bad could happen. They wouldn't have to deal with things like surgery or disease. They'd be safe. Alex would keep his son safe.

Jo had become quiet downstairs, and Alex knew she must be waiting for him to come back. After all, he had just gone upstairs to change his clothes. He had promised he wouldn't wake up the toddlers she had spent so long getting to sleep.

"You're gonna go back to bed now," Alex whispered to the little boy in his arms. Prying his shirt free from Adam's tiny fist, Alex laid him back on his bed, tucking his blankets up around him. Adam grumbled, flailing for a moment until his father put a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"I'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

Alex wasn't even sure if Adam was still awake enough to hear him, but he had to try anyway. He was already up and halfway to the door when he heard the quiet response,

"Okay daddy."

Okay.

They were going to be okay.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews always appreciated. If anyone is interested I may continue to revisit this universe with Jolex and their twins. Other stories in the universe include "Ode to the Family", "Another Stormy Night", and "Protege".