Chapter One
He stood in the doorway of his home and glanced back one last time. He wouldn't see this place for another three months, and to tell the truth he felt relieved. The manor's renovations were not completed and he doubted that even if they were he would be comfortable.
"Write me?" His mother asked from behind him. If she wasn't his mother he doubted that he would be able to see how worn down she looked. She still walked with pride in each step and she still wore a stony expression but her eyebrows were just creased together slightly and her eyes, once sharp, were now clouded with worry.
Draco wrapped one arm around her and breathed in her perfume. "Of course," he answered as he pulled away. "I'll be fine," he stated when he still saw the concern in her face, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't to help calm his own nerves either.
Narcissa sighed and grabbed a strand of his blonde hair that had fallen in his face. "If you ever want to come back…" She put the hair back into place and met his grey eyes, "You don't have to do this, Draco." They had argued about this over the past few weeks and she was making one last stand before he would leave for King's Cross Station.
"Yes, I do," he answered, looking away from his mother because he felt his façade failing and if he kept on looking at her he knew he would stay. Draco swallowed the guilt that was bubbling in his stomach. He hated leaving her in the house still scarred with dark magic and he was pretty sure the stain in front of the fire place was blood but he never voiced this.
"I'll be back soon," he said more coldly than he wanted to, but his mother either didn't notice or she didn't care because she planted a kiss on his cheek, gave a small smile, and then turned and went inside. He watched the doors close behind her and sighed. He was thrown back by a sudden urge to call back to her and ask if she would accompany him to the station but he quickly pushed that out of his mind. It was childish for him to seek his mother for comfort, especially since that would only draw more attention from others.
He knew that his mother wouldn't be alone in the manor, his father would be there to keep her company when he wasn't at the ministry being interrogated. They had each other, just like before but also not. The return of Voldemort destroyed their old life and they were still trying to pick up the pieces and put them back together and figure out their new place in the world. Every fiber of his body screamed to stay home and forget the rest of the world, or at the very least Hogwarts, so he was surprised when he felt his feet start moving.
Draco thought of King's Cross Station and Platform 9 ¾ and the students that would probably be boarding by this point. His stomach turned when he thought of how many of his classmates would actually be returning to finish their seventh year. He had completed most of the year before the Battle of Hogwarts but it was because of the battle that he was unable to finish and graduate. So, he was going to have to retake his classes until December. He knew that there were some of those who had spent their summer at Hogwarts finishing their classes but he had spent his summer being interrogated and tried for his crimes until Potter had intervened and saved him from going to Azkaban.
Potter. The git. He always had to come in and save the day but the hatred that once consumed him was now almost entirely gone. Potter had saved his life several times and Draco had saved his a few, but he was sure that now Potter had one up on him and he hated being in others' debt. He didn't know how to repay it.
Draco shook his head and turned around once more. He was now at the edge of the property and he had nowhere else to go but to the station. He swallowed his pride, closed his eyes, and then felt the familiar tug and pull as he apparated. When he opened his eyes, he was standing in the alleyway across from King's Cross Station.
It was already bustling with people but he managed to spy those intended for Platform 9 ¾. They were the ones carrying owls and lugging large suitcases with them, and also the ones who drew the attention of muggles.
Draco pulled up the hood of his jacket and hurriedly walked into the building, trying his best to blend into the crowd. He trusted that house elves back at the manor had sent his belongings ahead of time and that they would already be on the train. He wanted to spend as little time as possible with others.
He looked up at the signs waiting until he saw the gap between platforms 9 and 10. A memory from when he was 11 crossed his mind briefly. It was his first time at King's Cross Station and his father was pushing him ahead through the crowd, guiding him with his cane. He looked up at his father when they were between the platforms and before they stepped in through the passage, he asked, "If it's in-between nine and ten why is it not called Platform 9 ½?" His father gave a bemused smirk but he never did answer his question.
Draco was brought back to reality by the sight of long bushy brown hair and a red Gryffindor scarf. Granger. Of course, she would return but Merlin did he wish she didn't. He stopped in his tracks and stared as she walked along towards the magical barrier oblivious to him. She was laughing loudly and more than anything that was what caught him off guard. Between the ministry and his house he wasn't exactly around a light-hearted bunch.
"…yes, Ron we've been over this a hundred times before. Now, please, we're almost there," she said, exasperation evident in her voice. That was when he saw Weasley, his mop of red hair easily identifiable. His eyes were glued to Granger, a hint of a scowl was on his face though. She kissed him and when she pulled away he noticed that Weasley had a wolfish grin in place of the frown. He watched as the pair said their goodbyes and Granger alone walked through the brick wall.
Weasley looked up and immediately made eye-contact with Draco. The red head seemed to be just as surprised as he was to see him there and for an instant he thought that Weasley was going to confront him but instead he huffed, glanced towards the wall where his girlfriend had just walked through and then turned on his heel and walked away.
Draco was hit with an even stronger desire to just go home and forget all of them but he thought of his what his father would say, or wouldn't, and so he forced himself to go through the magical entrance.
There were more people than he thought there would be. Platform 9 ¾ was usually crowded but considering that Hogwarts had recently been besieged by the Dark Lord himself, Draco was hoping that people would've either transferred their children or kept them home to teach them themselves but he was wrong. He realized that he was wrong a lot.
He scanned the crowd for any signs of his friends – no, that was definitely the wrong word – but anyone who would not strangle him on sight. He did consider Weasley's restraint a good sign, though.
Draco wasn't surprised to see very few Slytherin clad students of those, he did not recognize them. They were younger kids, and considering that he had spent the past two years working as a death eater he paid little attention to those outside of those he trusted.
For a split second he thought he saw Goyle boarding the train but when he blinked he saw a sixth year Hufflepuff instead. With a huff he pulled down his hood and pushed his way through the crowd and to the train.
It was then that he realized that he had never considered what he would do on the train ride to Hogwarts. He had spent so much time worrying about what would happen once he was actually there that he had never considered what he would do aboard the Hogwarts Express.
Luckily for him, he had arrived early enough so that there were still empty compartments. He slid into one and huddled in the corner by the window. He grabbed the Daily Prophet that was sitting on the seat across from him and he began scanning the paper for something to do but his mind was elsewhere.
His heart hammered in his chest as more and more students flooded the train. Some of them glanced into the compartment but otherwise gave no indication that they knew who he was. Why should he fear them though? They didn't understand anything. They didn't know and Merlin that infuriated him.
A tap on the glass got his attention and he felt his heart sink. Granger, again. The door slid open and she walked in followed by the Weasley girl – what was her name again? They didn't seem to care that anyone else was in the compartment as they laughed and threw their bags above.
Draco looked away and pulled harder on his hood. He wanted to tell the mudblood and the blood-traitor to leave but the words were stuck in his throat and, he would never admit it, but he didn't want to fight them not now. Besides, he hadn't sided with Voldemort in the end. He had gone to trial, his crimes were forgotten…
The laughter that had followed them in had stopped.
He had to hold himself back from looking over his shoulder to see what the pair was doing. He felt the seat sink and knew that one of them had sat down next to him. His heart was beating so fast and he met with an overwhelming want to jump up and get off the train.
It was at this moment that the Hogwarts Express started to move.
"Hi, do you mind if we sit in here?" A voice asked from the opposite side of the compartment. He recognized the forceful tone underlined with a twinge of annoyance, it was the Weasley girl. So that would mean that Granger was sitting next to him. "All of the other compartments are full," she continued when he didn't answer. He couldn't. He was paralyzed with fear but he didn't understand why so he sat there and wished that they would just leave.
Draco watched as the train pulled away from the station. The parents were waving to their children, some had tears in their eyes and others looked as if they'd rather be anywhere than there.
Granger and Weasley must have taken his silence for acceptance because they didn't leave but they had good enough sense to leave him be. They talked in hushed tones about their summers but he could still hear every word they said. Draco tried to push their idle chatter out but the landscape was only so entertaining.
The last two times he had rode on the train to Hogwarts he thought that it would be his last but here he was again. There was no Voldemort, no threat to his parents or his home, and even Potter wasn't going to be there. While he thought that not having Potter would've been a comfort he found it oddly unsettling. While Potter had been the bane of his existence for years, he was also a source of the normality that he craved.
The voices of Granger and Weasley suddenly dipped and that peaked his interest enough to try and listen.
"…you don't actually think that he'd- "
"Why not?"
Silence.
He wondered if they were talking about him and his return to Hogwarts but no that didn't sound right. It still bothered him, their secrecy. After spending so much time in the presence of the Dark Lord and his servants he grew to hate secrets. They meant danger and pain and death. Draco knew that little miss Granger and Weasley didn't have a bad bone in their body – much to his chagrin – but he couldn't stop the thoughts from creeping into his mind.
Slowly he began to doze off, his head resting against the glass of window. At some point he thought that Weasley got up and left but he wasn't sure. He just wanted this ride to go as smoothly as it could possibly go. Luckily, so far it was going pretty well despite having two Gryffindors join him.
He thought of what lied ahead of him. As of now, he was a known death eater, the enemy of Harry Potter, and he had no friends. At least none that he knew of. He was exactly what others should fear and he knew it.
He pushed those thoughts out of his mind. There was no use in thinking about the future, of what may come or what may not. He hoped that the students would ignore him, that they would leave him alone but the tug in his gut said otherwise.
Curiosity eventually took over and he opened an eye and turned his head slowly and carefully as to not draw attention to him immediately.
He saw that the seats across from him were empty and concluded that Weasley had left to change in her robes. He dared to turn a little bit more and saw Granger reading a book on the far side of the seat. Her head was resting against the glass window, her eyes eagerly scanning the pages. Until they weren't. They met his and he felt his eyes go wide and he quickly turned away from her, hoping to Merlin that she hadn't realized who he was.
"Draco."
Of course, she did.
"Granger," he acknowledged. "How long have you known?" He asked hoping that she knew what he was asking.
Without missing a beat, she answered, "This entire time." There was a pause and he looked back at her and her gaze didn't waiver. "I've been meaning to talk to you alone, Malfoy," she stated. She was going
Draco was in no mood to talk, especially to her. She didn't look particularly pleased to be alone with him but she seemed adamant to have a discussion.
"What?" He asked, and he didn't mean for it to sound so harsh but all he wanted was to be left alone.
Granger bit her lip and then focused her eyes on him. Her voice was low, "I don't know what you're doing here Malfoy – "
"Is it too much for me to want to graduate?"
"Yes," she said so quickly he almost missed it.
He narrowed his eyes at her, "Trust me, Granger, I don't want this but I'm here whether you like it or not."
She was tugged on the Gryffindor scarf around her neck, "Listen, the war might be over but don't think that just because you aren't locked behind bars that everything you did was okay."
"Potter was the one who spoke for me at my trial!"
"I know that!" she snapped. "Harry had his reasons but don't think that just makes up for everything."
"What gives you that impression?"
"You're here, aren't you?"
"Because I have to be."
Granger sighed, "Just… stay out of our way, okay?" She phrased it like a question but he knew it wasn't up for debate.
Malfoy opened his mouth to throw back a retort but the compartment door opened with a bang and Weasley walked in. Merlin, what was her name?
"Malfoy," she spat at him. She took a step towards him as if to punch him in the face but Granger stepped between them. Weasley frowned but her gaze was fixated on him. He turned away when he couldn't hold her stare any longer.
A cold laugh escaped between Weasley's teeth, "I didn't believe the rumors that you'd be back. Thought you would've stayed home with mummy and daddy." Draco felt anger boiling in his stomach as she continued, "You're a coward. You might've changed sides at the end but we all know the truth."
He snapped his head to her and narrowed his eyes. "Shut it, Weasley. You and your blood traitor family are still living in that shack you call a house? You may think you're all high and mighty but you're still nothing. Don't think you're better than me just because you're shagging it up with the hero." He stood up and glanced at Granger and her once diplomatic demeanor had changed to one of anger. She had the same look in her eyes that she had right before she punched him in the face during their 3rd year.
"Stay out of my fucking way," he hissed before he shoved his way between the pair and stepped out into the hallway. He wasn't just angry he was infuriated. Her claiming that she knew everything about him, a humorless chuckle slipped out and he punched the wall.
Draco cursed himself for leaving but there was no going back now. Without a compartment of his own he decided to spend the rest of the trip sitting on the stairs leading down to the door.
He didn't have to sit there long. Soon the Hogwarts Express was pulling up to Hogsmeade Station. As soon as the doors swung open he was off the train and heading towards the Thestral-pulled carriages.
Draco pulled his hood down. There was no more hiding his identity whether he wanted to or not. Only a few short years ago he was proud of his name Malfoy. He wore it as a badge of honor. It meant that he was superior, better than everyone else but now he wished he was anyone but.
He climbed up and stared at the Thestrals. Were they content with not being seen by most people? Did they even realize it? Probably not.
Quickly the students began to pour out of the train and began climbing into the open carriages. He watched as some students do a double-take when they saw him, one even pointed. He clenched his jaw and looked out towards the lake where the first years were beginning to head towards. The castle was in the distance standing against the night sky but even from here he could see the scars from the battle that took place only several months before.
He felt the carriage jostle and he looked over to see two familiar faces joining him.
"I have to say I didn't think I'd see you here," Blaise Zabini stated as he sat down. "After everything that happened this summer I thought you would've stayed far away from here."
Theodore Nott sat across from him and flashed a smile, "We didn't see you on the train. Where were you?"
Draco shook his head and saw Weasley, Granger, and Looney Luna climbing into the carriage behind him. "I was stuck in a compartment with Weasley and Granger."
"Fuck, the blood traitor and the mudblood? Merlin…" While Nott hadn't been a death eater his father had been and only a month before was he sentenced to several decades in Azkaban. He was obviously still bitter, either that or his views from before hadn't changed.
Nott continued when he didn't respond, "You should've come sat with us anyway."
Zabini said, "It's a little weird, isn't it? Slytherin has the most returning seventh years. I heard most Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws finished this summer, along with a few from Gryffindor who weren't selected."
"Selected?"
"Yeah," Zabini answered. "Those who fought against You-Know-Who were – "
"Really? You-Know-Who?" Nott asked, disgust laced in his voice.
Zabini rolled his eyes. "Look, I was never interested in being a servant for that guy unlike the two of you. I'm not going to say his name."
"He's dead!"
"Whatever, he doesn't deserve it," Zabini took a breath. "Anyway, those who fought against him were granted diplomas or exemptions from completing their courses all the way. Well, those who were of age to fight."
The Thestrals began to move and soon the chain of carriages began the trek to the castle entrance. The trio sat in silence, Draco glad to have company even if it meant Zabini and Nott.
Draco had a thought and looked at Zabini and then to Nott and frowned. "Why are you two back? You evacuated with most of the Slytherins so why are you here now? Why wouldn't you finish during the summer?"
Zabini chuckled and Draco couldn't help but notice how relaxed he seemed to be. "And ruin my summer holiday? No, I decided to just come back for the first part of the year. Besides, that would give the staff more time to clean it up. I heard it was in pretty bad shape."
"Yeah, it was," Draco nodded.
Nott yawned out, "Yeah I got out but my father was there so I had to spend most of my summer at his trials. That was a waste of time…" Draco looked at the two and sighed. It was strange to be having this conversation so casually.
"Your dad was pretty lucky," Nott drawled out. "I mean it's no secret about your family's allegiance," his eyes darted to Draco's left arm and then back to his eyes.
Draco hardened his stare, "We didn't fight with him in the end."
"No, you didn't," and suddenly Draco didn't want to be around Nott. "All I'm saying is that I know if I was there - "
"But you weren't. You left."
"How about you two stop this. It's done, it's over with," Zabini intervened, obviously fed up with the pair. Draco leaned back and didn't say another word for the rest of the ride.
And thus the journey has begun.
I'm very excited about this story and I hope you all are too. Let me know what you think!
Thank you