Its been awhile...

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis does not belong to me and is exclusively Takeshi Konomi's.

Calendar

It all started with a New Year's Resolution that became something more. 12 months, 365 days. That was all he had until Sanada was gone. Maybe feelings are better left unexpressed, hidden away in the depths of time. But he is Yukimura after all, and he is no coward. Sanada/Yukimura

I'll give it one year, and if it doesn't work, so be it. At least I tried.

Chapter One: December

)

Love was such a strange word.

It meant so many different things to so many different people. Sometimes it was an expression of innocence-of triviality or some teenage girl's romance, and sometimes, it was used to express the deepest emotional connections a human could feel to another.

The simplest things are often the most complex, and Yukimura, like love, was a singular entity-a college graduate like the other thousands across Japan-but in his own way, he was special.

He was like a channel, smooth and cool. Clear, but opaque at the same time like there were shadows hidden among the transparent current. Peaceful, calm, simplicity at its best, but hidden within its depths was some many molecules, so many pathways intertwined that it veiled a part of nature's perfection.

Beautiful but with enough control to flood and drown.

Indeed, he was an element of solid fluidity with the sharp edged danger of a katana blade.

No one knew this better than Sanada. His friend since late childhood. The boy had experience with kendo and trained with these deadly samurai blades that so vividly described his friend. He knew the power used to wield along with the beauty they possessed. Literally and figuratively, no one knew Yukimura better than Sanada excluding Renji with his impossibly large collection of notebooks about everyone that towered over Mount Fuji.

Sanada could be oblivious at times, but Renji was deadly perspective. And Yukimura wished he had been more secretive with his own emotions, but even if he were-a wry, tired smile flitted on his face-Renji would still know.

The confrontation between them was not exactly a happy one. Yukimura was expecting it, no doubt. He didn't want to deal with it, but Renji's message was clear. I will tell if you do not come.

And with that, Yukimura had arrived at the café where they had planned to meet. It was a small place filled with warm colors that made it seem comfy to the white world outside. Shades of pastel orange and a light olive green filled the room and the fresh smell of coffee could be seen.

The two took a spot in a far corner and Yukimura sat opposite of Renji in comfortable chairs, facing the window. The light snow outside was keeping him distracted on the topic that pressed on. It was something neither of them really wanted to touch. Renji usually stayed out of the relationships of his peers, he might have information, but rarely did he say anything to the two lovers. Even so, Yukimura could understand-but did not like-why his friend decided to openly confront him on his relationship with Sanada.

The topic of Sanada was like a hot potato, neither of them really wanting to drop it on the table, but one of them had to. Finally when their tea arrived, Yukimura finally relented and dropped the secure silence between them.

"Well?" he said, masking his inner turmoil with casual indifference.

The brown haired boy sitting across from him sipped his tea from the earthen ceramic cup. If Renji was feeling nervous, he did not show it either. Gently, he slid his cup down and turned his face toward Yukimura. "This can't keep going on."

Yukimura raised an eyebrow. He knew what Renji was talking about, but he could not bring himself to admit it. "What's been going on?"

Renji opened his eyes and stared at him, accusingly with a sharp tone in them that was so different from the composed boy he usually was. "We both know. You just can't keep ignoring him Seiichi."

Yukimura scoffed. "That's my decision Renji. What I choose to do is my choice. Not yours. Please realize this and leave me alone."

Renji just stared at him, his eyes were closed again but the sense of bitter forlorn was back in his face. "I pity you Seiichi. You're just like Genichirou when it comes to things like this. Always the pride. You're foolish pride. Homosexuality is not banned anymore. There is no red tape around that word anymore. And you're calling him Sanada now. What happened Seiichi? You two were so close, and now, there are literally weeks where no words are exchanged among you."

Yukimura shrugged. "People change," he said, his collected voice fading softly at the end to something of regret. He did not face Renji's face anymore and slowly bought himself to see his own reflection in the warm cup of green tea. On the murky surface, he saw a boy staring back in the soft ripples with the same dejected expression that was often seen nowadays.

Despite the fact that Renji's eyes were not open; his face still was a reminder of Renji's judgment of him. It was such a pathetic attempt on Yukimura's part, but he could not bring himself to see the sympathy on Renji's face on his situation. It would just constantly remind him of how low he had sunk.

Renji gave a sigh and sipped again. The twenty-two year old then pulled out a credit card, and made a delicate gesture to the waiter. "Consider it on me; consider it a farewell present of sorts, even though I'm the one leaving for Seoul tomorrow." He grabbed his warm overcoat that was sitting on the chair next to him. There were preparations on leaving and hasteful congratulations. The farewell party for Renji was in tomorrow and all the tennis regulars from their middle school days were going to show up, including Sanada, which Yukimura was not looking forward to seeing. But it could not be helped of course.

Anyways, the topic of Sanada was dropped and there was careful casual talk, both trying to ignore what were said previously and making preparations to leave the café. Yukimura's tea was left untouched. He managed to drink a bit due to the guilt that Renji was paying (with no persuasion, Renji insisted on footing the tab). Then the two retreated to the door.

"Seiichi?" Renji said to him as Renji held the door for Yukimura.

"Yes?" he responded back to the data master. He had a feeling that Renji was just going to bring up the infamous subject again, and Yukimura just wanted to bolt away faster than lightning. Nevertheless, he did not do this and instead gave a fake smile to his friend, something he never would have done before.

"People change. Sanada changes, you change. But that's the part of human nature. Change is frequent. But you're both changing together. You might be worlds apart next year when you leave for France and Sanada finally picks a girl that his grandfather introduces, but right now, you are both close together. Bonds are easily breakable, but take decades to make."

And with that, Renji shuffled in his comfortable tan coat and went to hail a cab.

Yukimura wanted to cursed him. "You know me too well Renji," he muttered fondly under his breath, gently admitting to himself that Renji was right. No matter how much he would like to deny that nothing had changed and everything was alright, it really was not.

His life was a mess right now currently, he might be pursuing a doctorial degree, but it wasn't coming along well and he was most likely moving to France next winter. Along with that, he hardly ever saw Sanada anymore after the latter started to take after his grandfather to work in the police forces-surprisingly enough, Tezuka Kunimitsu had been one of his partners for work, but only for a short while. Even though Sanada said he was happy with his work, it was his duty in the family after all. The tired expression and further comments from his family members about grandchildren gave Yukimura, along with everyone else, the hint that Sanada's life was far from the calm, relative one he described to them.

The only one who fared better out of the Demon Trio had been Renji, who was doing what he loved best, mathematics and data collection. He became a successful banker and managed to snag a job in Korea, Renji's Korean was simply flawless to even the natives; it was a good choice that the man had picked up that language in high school and unceasingly practiced it.

While there were still close, they hadn't been as close as before. Despite what any of them said about that, there were hurried promises that everything was the same, but it was not. And Yukimura had further realized what was wrong with his relationship with Sanada.

Renji had realized too.

Even so, it was a bit too late to do anything, they would only have one more year together and then move their separate ways. He would make amends to Sanada of course about his strange behavior in the past months, and the stoic boy would accept those worthless excuses, not questioning but not believing either.

Anyways all he could think about was soaking himself in a hot bath and then reading about Claude Monet.

With that, he headed the opposite direction, not bothering to get a taxi.

It was late December and the snow was falling softly, coating everything in a delicious coat that resembled white frosting. Unlike the storms in November, this snow was delicate, fragile, and was just like touching soft cream-discounting the fact that it was cold. Yukimura was fond of the scene that laid ahead of him. It was early in the night, the sun had just set and there were barely any cars out currently.

On the dull grey road he was walking on, barely anyone passed due to the holidays and the need to be home before New Years. Yukimura wasn't ravenous about the weather in particular, but the certain mood it had on him right now, that was beautiful.

It was a winter solace, with flecks of white sprinkling around and everything decorated with leaves of white. The brightly lit houses provided warm light that filtered in his view and brightened the darkening sky above him.

The experience was permeable, and he gently trudged back to his apartment that was a few blocks away. His eyes gently scanned the world around him, and a small sigh escaped his lips. He watched the warm breath of steam come out from his mouth, mixing with the cold temperature, and followed its trail that it created into the air until the last remnants of it disappeared from sight.

A small smile tugged his lips. Yukimura couldn't help but notice the little things he found artistically appealing, some of it was pure strangeness, the curve of a leaf or the texture on one of his rackets, even so, it was just visually appealing to him.

He reached the front of his apartment complex, and his long fingers punched the code in the number box on the wall next to the gate. His fingers slide across the pad, and the gate clicked opened. He went inside and closed the gate and walked the next few yards of sidewalk until he reached his building and unlocked his door.

Despite the fact that the neighborhood he lived in was fairly safe and quite suburban, the makers took extra precautions. Yukimura honestly didn't care about it, despite all the ramblings his neighbors had.

His flat was a small, one-bedroom place. The living room was by far the largest, and a comfortable old sofa was placed to the wall. It was by far the focal point of the room. Everything else revolved around it, the small desks that held the lamp and old pictures of Yukimura's childhood, then the plasma television that faced the sofa. He had a small coffee table that had a few books and some notes he put on it to remind him of what he had to do.

Yukimura took of his dark boots after wiping the snow from them on his welcome mat. He didn't bother placing them on his shoe rack, a gesture that was becoming increasingly common in the neat and tidy Yukimura. Slipping into warm green slippers, he slid himself on his couch and gave a sigh.

A part of him wanted to grab the book about Monet from his coffee table, and the other half just wanted to sit and do nothing. Finally after a few minutes, he flicked on his television with the remote and browsed the channels. Most of it was about festive stuff, about Christmas-despite the fact that most of Japan weren't Christians; they still exchanged gifts just for the heck of being in the season of giving. He turned to a news channel and basically stared at the screen while the reporter went on and on about how to celebrate New Years.

Maybe he should call someone, but there was no one. Marui, Jackal, Kirihara, Yagyuu, and Niou all lived too far from him right now. All of them had spread out after high school and he hadn't seen them a lot now that he lived in Tokyo. He couldn't exactly call Sanada and Renji…he just didn't want to talk to Renji right now.

Never had he felt more lonely.

Why is love so hard? He thought. A cruel laugh escaped his lips. I'm so pathetic. So afraid of commitment. I should just tell him.

Renji's words echoed through his head. One more year until he gets married and you move away.

Just one more year.

Sometimes he couldn't get that through his head. He could pretend, he could live in his fantasy world where he and Sanada were together, but all the dreams and desires couldn't change the reality of it.

I only have one more year.

He grimaced and a few breathless sighs whispered from his lips. None of it mattered anymore, he wanted to do something outrageous which consisted of just going and kissing Sanada senseless until the other could not feel his lips anymore.

But that was totally out of the question.

His mind dulled and the television announcer droned on, New Years Resolutions was the current topic of discussion. Yukimura laughed bitterly at how people tried to change themselves in one year. The usual was losing weight or quit smoking. Usually it never worked and most just made it up while being drunk and boozed out from all the alcohol on New Years Eve.

Even so, despite the negativity he had about those so-called resolutions, at least the people were taking the first step into doing something.

Here he was, flopped on his couch and doing nothing.

He closed his eyes.

One year.

He was going to try.

For one year, he would try to woo Sanada Genichirou's heart and then he would give up for good.

Then he proceeded to grab the bottle of scotch in his pantry. "Merry New Years to me," he sang sullenly, drunk in his mad escapade. It was not New Years, but he could honestly use a drink.

Please leave a review, they are greatly appreciated. I read them, I'm a procrastinating replier though. I adore reviews, even if I do not reply, they will be read.

Thanks!

~Lem