This is an excerpt from my coming-of-age novel 'There's More To Life' available on Amazon:

Love

Love? Lust? Desire? A need? A want? A thirst needing to be quenched? All these and more. Sarah entering Danny's life has given him a reason to live, a goal to achieve, a purpose to be. Love can be the most wonderful feeling in the world when you have it and a tormenting demon when you don't. How do you control it or does it control you? Is this love? Danny thinks to himself heading to his room, as the glances and smiles become more apparent. The slight contact of skin, the accidental brushing of bodies as the two young hopefuls pass each other.

How to take the next step, how to make the right move, how to risk all in this game of chance to win this heart. What if she is only being friendly? What if she doesn't want a partner? Maybe she has already, although no one has been mentioned! The eternal struggle to keep up the pretence of friendship when so much more can be gained, can be won. How to take the brave step forward in to the dark abyss of the unknown. When to ask? What if she asks me? No, she wouldn't, would she? Danny ponders, slowly walking up the stairs. As he reaches his room, he glances behind him looking back down the stairs, hoping, wanting, watching…but she does not follow.

Danny lies down on his bed smiling to himself, thinking back through the last couple of months. The times they have shared, the things they have done. John has always been with them, but that was ok, in fact, it helped. There was never an awkward silence, never a lingering pause where one or the other could shy away. John has grown to be a very good friend and Sarah always appeared happy to share both lads' company. The Three Musketeers, John labelled the trio during a visit to the cinema one time.

So much time has passed, so many dreams accomplished. The famous sights of London now like visiting the local park, the journeys in the crowded underground tube. The games they would play; to get to the tube first, to guess how many stops to their destination, to jump on or off the tube just before the doors close on them… Together, always together, the three of them, growing, bonding, living life, loving the time they were given. College fitted in like a jigsaw; it comes, it goes, each being early in their academic career study nights are few and far between. Time now was for fun, exploring, adventure, trying new things, experimenting with new ideas, investigating all that life has to offer.

There was always another museum to visit, another film on at their local Odeon, sharing fish and chips with Nelson's lions becoming a regular Saturday afternoon custom. She was always there, always willing, always wanting to be a part of the group. The times of laughter, the times of tomfoolery, even John contributed with his unique sense of humour! Danny smiles again at the thought of John, always wanting to make the effort, always suggesting somewhere new to go, something else to try, taking life by the scruff of its neck and shaking out all that it has to offer.

There were times though when Danny thought there were opportunities for Sarah and him to be alone, to make something of what they have got, to bring fruition to their budding friendship. The viewings on the big screen, Sarah always insisting on sitting in the middle, joking with a glint in her eye about us lads keeping our hands off each other. The walks in the large London parks; vast with duck ponds, play areas and paddle boats, another opportunity missed to be alone.

The trip to the zoo, on the other hand, was something of a farce. The deluge that washed away the events of that day out. The huddled chatter of freezing bodies in the cramped coffee shop. The few animals they did get to see looked as desperate and depressed as the three of them were feeling; sodden, downbeat and dripping. At least we had our freedom Danny recalls thinking at the time. Not trapped behind bars, not governed by a stronger power, not controlled by a force outside our control or thinking. Those animals destined to be entertainment for the masses. Hope forever gone, no choice, no options, no path to walk along with their own free will. No opportunity to lead a life, their life, just puppets on strings pulled by the authorities to fill their pockets.

On this occasion Danny was grateful John was with them. The memories of the family outings to the zoo when he was younger brought a heartache he thought didn't exist until it surfaced. The guilt of leaving his Mum, Melanie, his supposedly best mate Robbie. What kind of a friend was he? Off with new mates, exploring life with his new companions, not giving another thought to the people he left behind. Did he still need them? Did he still care? The guilt was deep within him that day. The rain hid the tears he tried to hold back, not making the effort with those he loved, those who loved him. Deserting them for something else, something better! Why not though? They made their choice, I've made mine! We live and breathe through the choices we make, I made the right choice, I chose adventure, I chose excitement, I chose new experiences, not the same old routine day in, day out with the same old people and the same old sights. Why can't I have this life, why can't I live my life the way I want to? No one governs me, I'm my own boss! I'll live with the success and failures of my choices, I'll make mistakes - who doesn't? But they'll be mine and mine alone!

John, on this particular day, was in a jovial mood, quite unexpectedly. Maybe he's the sort of guy who comes alive when all others are down, maybe he's the type of person who appears quiet and shy, but when called for steps up to the mark, takes control and leads the leaderless. On the other hand, John may just be the kind of bloke who enjoys the rain! Danny didn't know what it was, but John made the best of their bad situation.

Sarah was uncharacteristically quiet throughout their sodden trip. She made chit-chat and shared a few laughs Danny recalls, but there was something not quite right… Something… Impossible to guess the reasons! The moods of a young woman can be very complex and varied. One minute she's dragging John and I off to see the lions, the next she stands silent, alone, face up against the window enclosing the monkeys from the outside world. We sat, waiting patiently, not wanting to rush her, not wanting to disturb her thoughts. Giving her all the time in the world to process whatever she was going through. The primates enjoyed the opportunity to run and scamper as the downfall was reduced to a rare light drizzle at the time. A small monkey cautiously approached the being from the other side of the window. The small hands placed on the glass looking up at this strange being above him. Sarah crouched down smiling, placing her hands on the window by the monkey's hands. For a split second, which felt longer, as in slow motion, the human and the primate stared, just stared at each other, then the monkey was gone, scampering off to be with his own kind once again.

Throughout this unique experience Danny couldn't take his eyes off Sarah. Her blonde hair matted to her forehead, her deep eyes gazing at the animal before her, her soft, soft lips slightly parted. Her body hidden away under layers of damp clothes, hidden from him, but not his thoughts! It's not the first time Danny imagined what Sarah would look like naked. He realised he wasn't the first person to have thought those things either. He didn't know how many partners Sarah had had or how often she had been physical with someone, but he guessed she had had her fair share! Her natural look, her lips, eyes, nose, everything was perfect. He imagined the rest, piecing together a jigsaw in his mind from the meetings in their house when she sat watching television with them in her pyjamas, adjusting her dressing gown or sometimes walking about freely with only a long t-shirt or nightie. On purpose? Without thinking? She must have known what she was doing. Showing off her ample breasts, which strain against the tight clothing she wears. The times when she picks something up or bends to load the washing machine; does she do this on purpose? Her firm, petite backside in jeans, always in jeans, skin-tight jeans! A nudge from John brings Danny back in to the realms of reality. Sarah had left the monkey enclosure and proceeded up the path ahead of them. Walking behind her, alongside John, he thinks: so close, yet so far away… The remainder of the cursed trip consists of racing to and from the indoor exhibitions, trying desperately, but failing, to keep dry from the onslaught falling from the skies.

There were times though when I was invisible Danny remembers, or I thought I was! The late nights in the clubs, the dancing with so many other guys on the packed floor, but never out of sight, never on her own with someone else. Was this an accident? Did she flirt with others to wind me up? To make me jealous? I could never tell! Can't recall her being intimate with anyone, craftily avoiding a male's advances with skill and ease as if she had done so many times before. Scanning around the darkened arenas, knowing what the male mind thinks, feels, wants out of the night. Danny watched Sarah with interest, how she would accept a dance, but maintain the distance between herself and Danny and John. Anyone pushing their luck with her soon found themselves caste aside like a broken toy. Toilet trips, tiredness, any excuse she could muster, she was fully equipped to deal with all comers. Always returning to her flat mates though, never making the decision to leave them in her wake and move on to new pastures.

Many evenings passed when Danny thought that this was the night, this was the time to make his move. Should I try now? Wait until John is out of the way? Wait until we get home? The opportunity never appeared to show itself, or perhaps it did but Danny was too scared to take it or to make that leap of faith! What if she turns me down? Will I have to move out? Will she? Has she just been winding me up all this time? Flirting with me for reasons best known to her and her only? What if she meets someone else? How could I bare having her boyfriend in the house… in her room… in her bed…? I have to try, I have to go for it. Surely it is better to try and fail than not to try at all? I want to make the most out of my life, not let it pass me by with all its opportunities and chances to experience new things. I don't want to live a life full of regret and lost opportunities.

Decision time! What do I do? How do I do it? Shall I just come out and ask her? Shall I invite her out for a drink, just the two of us? What about John? I can't forget about him if we get together, he'll be lost without us, but he'll be ok. Everyone has relationships without forgetting their friends don't they? I have to try, even if I get knocked back. I can get up again! No matter how many times I get knocked down, I'll always get up again, I'll never give in! I'll never give up! Danny ponders what actions to take to snare his prey. I'll talk to John first, tell him my plans. I don't want to leave him out, especially if Sarah isn't interested. I'll tell John that we'll arrange to have a drink tonight, at the local, she wouldn't expect anything out of the ordinary in that. I'll ask John to make some excuse and go home early so we'll be on our own, then I'll ask her, I'll just ask her to go out with me!

Thinking more about his idea as it formulates in his mind makes it real, makes it possible. This could work, this could actually work! The slamming of the front door brings Danny back to consciousness. Damn! Too late, how long will she be gone for? Will she be staying over her friend's house again? I should have asked her when I was downstairs. At least this gives me a chance to talk it over with John I suppose. Danny sits up on his bed, rubs his face with his hands and stands to leave his room. Relieving himself in the bathroom Danny stares at himself in the cupboard mirror. For some reason, this reminds him of his little en-suite bathroom back home. Home, Mum, Melanie, Robbie. Past failed relationships. If only those girls could see him now. Living it up in the big city of London. Living with a stunning blonde. Maybe something more, maybe…

Returning to his room, Danny notices the house is strangely quiet. Knowing Sarah had gone out, he wonders where John is as there was no noise coming from the television downstairs. Danny heads towards his clock radio to turn it off before searching the house for John to tell him his plan. The song Respectable by Mel & Kim blares out into the room. Danny stops, hesitates, thinks. This song, played on a loop at his local pub back in Holyhead. The singers, who where they… Danny remembers how he used to tease his Sister whenever this song was played in their house. 'Great singing Sis! When do I get to meet Kim?' Playful thumps on the arm or ruffles of her hair whilst singing 'gotta be respectable'. Danny always laughed at her feeble attempts to fight back, to push him over, to outwit him even; there was never a contest, not in his eyes. Those times when it was just the two of them, always together, never to be apart. The visits to the duck pond on Sunday afternoons, the rides on their precious bikes along the cobbled roads, the quarrels, the fights, the quirky sense of humour they kept just for themselves. Danny smiles at the times he shared with his sister. He leaves the radio on and makes another decision! Sarah's gone out, John is probably in his room so may not want to be disturbed. I'll do something for Melanie, for my sister. Danny decides to update her on his adventures, of all the things he has done, of all the new experiences he has had because of the choices he has made and because, when she has the opportunity, she must choose freedom too.

Danny lies on his bed leaning against the headrest writing a letter to his sister. The small square alarm clock glows twenty-three thirty. Danny's concentration is interrupted by a knock at the door.

'Come in,' Danny says, curious.

Sarah quietly steps in to the room closing the door behind her. Her light blue cardigan is unbuttoned to reveal a tight fitting top. Danny notices she isn't wearing a bra. Her nipples protrude, bursting to be set free. She wears a skimpy mini skirt and walks towards the bed bare footed.

'Hi. How are you doing?' she says quietly.

'Ok. I… was just writing a letter to my sister,' Danny replies bemused at the way she is dressed… and not wearing her usual jeans.

'I wanted to talk to you,' Sarah says sitting on the bed next to him.

'I've been meaning to talk to you too,' Danny replies realising it was John who had left the house earlier.

'What about?'

'Er, you first.'

'Ok,' she says simply. 'I've known you for a few months now and I feel, I feel a lot for you. You're a really nice person. I was wondering if you felt the same for me. Sometimes

I can't tell if you really like me or if you're just messing around. So I thought I would just come out and ask you. '

'I thought that's what you were doing. I mean I think your great but you just seemed to be leading me on all the time. I didn't know what to do. I was thinking of asking you out but I wasn't sure if you were serious or not.'

'Oh ... well, yeah I want to if you do.'

Danny leans closer to her, their eyes transfixed. He feels his hands start to shake and heat up, but feel ice cold. They face each other inches apart. He takes a deep breath trying to control himself and his thoughts. His mind begins to race, he starts to think of all his past failed romances, he feels ready to give up everything, to capture the moment and freeze frame it for eternity. He breathes out his reply.

'Yeah ...'

Their lips touch Sarah closes her eyes. Electricity runs through her body. She feels an inner peace, warmth spreading through her body. Her hands and feet feel like they are on fire.

She wraps her arms around him intensifying the kiss. He slowly parts her lips with his tongue. She feels him enter her mouth; his warm tongue caresses hers. She parts her mouth wider, kisses him more passionately. She calmly puts her hand on his leg. Danny reaches over and runs his hand through her hair. They begin to explore each other's bodies, cuddling and caressing.

Danny slowly and hesitantly put his hand inside Sarah's open cardigan. He feels his way to her shoulder dropping her cardigan down her back. Sarah opens her eyes and gives him a shy smile. She draws her eyes down to his chest and begins to unbutton his shirt.

Danny continues to kiss her mouth then starts to kiss her face and neck. He helps her with the last couple of buttons she was struggling with and removes his shirt, letting it drop carelessly to the ground.

Danny stands up holding her hand. Sarah stands next to him. He draws her close to himself again and continues kissing her mouth. He brings his hands around from her back to her soft breasts. He moves her hands over them feeling her hardened nipples with excitement. Danny caresses them individually at first and then together pulling her top up to expose her subtle buds to his hungry eyes. He pulls her top up over her head and lets it fall to the floor. He can feel himself getting hard through his jeans. He brings her to him once more. Their bodies meet together. Danny brings his hands down her body and cups her firm buttocks with both hands under her miniskirt. He fiddles with the fastening momentarily and releases as the skirt comes away from Sarah's body revealing her small white knickers.

Sarah feels like she's in a dream caressing his body, stroking his chest. She moves her hand down from his back on to his backside clenching and fondling him. She then moves her hands round to his front bringing her left hand down between his legs. She starts to caress him slowly then slides his belt open and unbuttons his jeans in an expert fashion slowly pulling the zip down.

Danny continues to kiss her all over her face and neck massaging her breasts with his firm, sweaty hands.

She quickly kneels pulling his jeans down with both her hands. Danny steps out kicking them away with his left foot. She again stands as Danny holds her with his hands on her slim waist, kissing her breasts and tenderly nibbling and licking her nipples. He slides one hand round to her belly button and then slowly moves his hand inside the rim of the knickers. He brings his hands back round to her buttocks softly massaging and parting them.

Danny's penis is now hard and erect pushing to burst through his boxer shorts. He brings his hand round and caresses Sarah's sensitive mound. Danny rubs her gently at first, then eventually pushes his middle finger inside her. Sarah pulls her head back moaning softly. She reaches for him pulling his boxer shorts down between his ankles as his hand is withdrawn from her He bursts out with growing excitement.

She stands again and grabs hold of his erection with both her hands caressing him and slowly masturbates him.

Danny returns his hand to her inner pleasures. With his other hand he pulls her knickers down and let them drop between her silky legs. Sarah steps out of them and moves with Danny towards the bed. Danny moves his finger from her now moist with her love. Sarah lies down on the bed spreading her legs wide open. Danny lies on top of her still caressing and massaging her vagina and kissing her breasts. He moves down her body with hot wet kisses and licks. Her hands are in his hair she leans her head back enjoying the moment. Every touch, every kiss, tremors through her body. Her eyes closed, wetting her lips with her tongue.

Danny kisses her belly button, holding on to her waist with both his hands. He moves down to her wet secret firstly kissing around her vagina then slowly and thoughtfully kissing the wet lips buried within the dark jungle. He darts his tongue in and out breathing the rich aroma of a woman's scent.

Danny parts her lips with his tongue. She groans in ecstasy bringing her hands up to her breasts caressing them forcibly.

He licks his tongue along the length of her entrance and gradually enters her licking and sucking her thoroughly. He becomes more intense. She begins jerking her hips in his face groaning and moaning louder and louder Danny slows his movements and removes his tongue from within her He lingers there for a moment gaining control of himself. He then works his way back up her body swallowing her juices and licking his lips. They kiss passionately, their tongues caressing one another's sharing the fluid from Danny's actions.

Danny then brings his right hand down and holds his erection directing it towards her He parts her legs again and positions himself at her entrance.

Danny slowly enters her pushing himself with several sensitive attempts deep inside her she moans loudly. They begin slowly, rhythmically; jerking their hips together the momentum fastens. Danny kisses her all over her face squeezing his eyes tight shut. He falls down on her they hold each other closely. They move quicker and quicker He can feel himself building up. Sarah moaning uncontrollably grips him closely to her thrusting her hips in rhythm to his. She feels him deep inside her, her excitement eventually gets the better of her, she screams out in ecstasy. She feels herself coming. Danny is going faster and harder He arrives at the point of no return; he trembles, as he is about to ejaculate. Together with one final push their hips join, Danny releases his hot liquid in to her Sarah comes at the same time in a fit of sexual bliss feeling his fluid pump inside her Danny moans deeply in relief. Sarah lets out a long groan in unison as they come together in a violent fit of passion. They lie together panting and sweating in the beautiful silence that befalls the two lovers.

After a while reality creeps back in to their heads. Everything around them looks dull and quiet. A few moments later Danny reaches over Sarah's relaxed naked body and turns the radio on. The 'Phil Collins' song 'Easy Lover' plays in the background echoing their silent thoughts as the young couple rest in the deep of the night.

Eventually, after the radio station continues through other various hits of a similar nature, Sarah breaks the silence-

'So ... .l guess you don't have a girlfriend then?'

Danny laughs exhausted still from the events of the wild night.

'No.' He replies stretching his arms out in front of him