Soragato no Chuushin
The story of
Ienzo
"It's been a year now…" Ienzo said with sadness. He was referring to the incident last year which resulted in his lover, Ilara, dieing to a drunk's hand.
They were at a club, having the time of their life, when Ienzo was approached with the accusation of giving a man dirty looks. Ienzo was one to think rationally, and pleaded with the man he had done no such thing. He had only made things worse. Ienzo was a meek man, small in stature and build, so was easily thrown outside in the alley. Ilara was taken away and raped while Ienzo was on the ground being pummeled while being forced to watch to his revulsion.
Since that dreadful night, Ienzo has been blaming himself for not being able to do anything while his love was being defiled and murdered before his own eyes. He had lived with the guilt of not being able to do anything while his Ilara was defiled, then killed. He hated himself.
"Why do I even exist, I can't do anything, all I do is stand around while the world around me changes…" Ienzo said. He had tried to forget Ilara, to meet new people. He went on dates, talked to girls, he even slept with a few; none of which changed how he felt. After the umpteenth try, he gave up on love.
Ienzo felt liquid coolness hit face. He touched it with his finger, finding it was beginning to rain. He rose from the park bench, opened his umbrella, and began to walk back home. As he walked he watched the ocean. 'How I envy that' he said referring to the waves' careless freedom.
"All I want is to forget, to forget that ever happened." Ienzo said tears filling his eyes.
He quickly looked around, not really caring who was watching, but found no one nonetheless. He was the only soul in the rain, the only one suffering, the only one pained.
He lowered the umbrella, raising his head eyes closed, letting the rain hit his face. He opened his eyes, to gaze on the heavens above. All he saw were dark, depressing clouds. 'How ironic' he thought.
Ienzo raised his umbrella, and walked on. As he walked back to town, he thought of many things. The way she talked, the way she laughed, the way she smiled; all of which he loved.
"Why? Why did you take her from me?" Ienzo shouted at the sky.
"Why?" Tears filling his eyes.
"Why would you do that to me? Why? Why, why, why?" He yelled as he pounded the wall near him with his fist. Tears now freely falling down his cheeks.
"Why…" he slowly fell to the ground. He kneeled on the ground for what seemed like an eternity, but was in reality, just a few minutes.
A sudden thunder clap called Ienzo back to reality. Ienzo forced himself back up, and began to walk home. His eyes had dried about half way home. When he finally arrived to his apartment complex, he looked one last time at the sky. Seeing nothing but rain and clouds, he walked inside. The doorman spewed out his predictable word vomit on current events like always, while Ienzo just walked on by.
Ienzo caught the elevator as woman walked in. As the elevator rose, the woman kept glancing over at Ienzo in his soaked clothes.
"You want something?" Ienzo said after he got fed up with her awkward glances.
"Um… no, sorry" The woman said apologetically.
Ienzo discovered it was his neighbor Miriam, who had a rather large crush on him. She had tried to help Ienzo through the previous year by baking cookies, pies, or whatever she could make in an oven; receiving a 'no thank you' each time she walked next door to his apartment, dish in hand. He almost felt sorry for her; liking a guy that didn't want anything to do with her. 'We all have our problems' Ienzo told himself, numbing what little empathy he felt anymore.
When they reached there floor, Ienzo walked out of the elevator, cutting off Miriam. "Oh, sorry…" Miriam said, getting no response from Ienzo.
As Ienzo approached his apartment, he stopped for a moment before entering, remembering it was here that he received his first kiss from Ilara. He violently opened the door, disposing of the painful thought.
All that night he watched pointless TV, not really noticing what was on. Later, at what was about 9:30, he received a knock at the door. He forced himself off the couch as he knew who it was. He opened the door seeing Miriam holding a cake.
"What?" Ienzo said.
"Um… I remembered it was your birthday, and, I thought you like want to um… celebrate…" Miriam whispered.
"With what?" Ienzo said, frustration building.
"Well, if you want… me, I guess…" Miriam said eyes focused on the floor.
"No. I don't want to celebrate with you, eat with you, or even see you! Go away!" Ienzo said slamming door.
Ienzo heard small whimpers from the other side of the door. He looked through the peephole to see Miriam still on the other side grasping the cake with tears rolling down her cheeks. Her tears began to become louder and she ran back to her apartment dropping the cake in the hallway, still in front of Ienzo's door.
"Damn girl." he said, returning to his couch.
Ienzo later drank that night. He drank to the point of passing out in the middle of his room. He dreamed of a strange man in a black suit, surrounded by a crowd of silver looking monsters.
"Ienzo," The man said.
"What is keeping you alive?"
"Huh?" Ienzo said.
"I said, what is keeping you from killing yourself? That little girl next door who you made cry?"
"Shut up!" Ienzo shouted, lunging at the man.
His advance ended in being hit in the stomach with what felt like a hot poker. He screamed from the pain erupting in his stomach.
"Don't you try that again, I might have to kill you." The man said now on the other side of the clearing of silver monsters.
"You're still to weak, you can't even hit me." The man whispered in Ienzo's ear.
"Shut up!" Ienzo said forcing himself to return to his feet.
"What are you going to do about it? You can't even win a little bar fight without someone getting killed." The man sneered.
"I said shut up!" Ienzo shouted.
Ienzo found himself on the floor of his apartment in a cold sweat, wondering what happened. His gazed ventured to his arm where pain was erupting in violent pulses. What he saw scared him. His upper arm was sliced wide open, a shard of glass in the wound. He looked around him to find the empty bottle of wine he opened earlier was shattered about him, along with a shocking amount of his own blood. He slowly rose to his feet, dizzy from the amount of blood he lost. He stumbled to the window, bloody arm against the glass. He looked out at the city beneath him. 'Ugly' he thought.
"So this is how it ends…" Ienzo said as he fell to the ground, no hope as he trashed his only phone months ago in a drunken rage.
"That dream wasn't real was it… the dream that killed me… was only an illusion…" Ienzo laughed for the first time in over a year, as his eyes slowly closed, for the last time.