Where the Heart Is
Summary: what does it take for someone to realize that Home, truly is where the heart is.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. This was written for the soul purpose of my entertainment. I lay no claim on the characters of Speed Racer, if you recognize a character it does not belong to me. I can only claim the characters my mind makes up.
Note: for the time being my inspiration for a Task to Guard has left me; and in its place, this story is forming. Hopefully this one doesn't go as well. So love it or hate it, I want reviews to let me know if I should finish this.
Note 2:My inspiration to this story comes from my sister watching a Christmas in July movie marathon. So be warned in takes place around Christmas time, even if it is months too early. This is set in the classic series plot, due to the fact that Rex didn't die; however if you could get past that point you could set it in the movieverse. The story is also placed in the here and how due to mentioning of technology that wasn't available in the 1960s.
Alexander Recar stood on the balcony of his hotel suite, in the cool of the evening, and looked up into the star-studded sky. The full moon shown like a soft night light among the multitude of stars; and a gentle breeze was blowing, ruffling his hair.
He felt a pair of well-toned, but definitely female, arms come around his waist; alerting him to the presence he knew would be there eventually. Turning around, his eyes met the deep blue gaze of his fellow agent named Tabitha, aka the Cat. The two of them had been assigned together since his first day at ISP, and had grown much closer in recent years.
Looking her over, Alexander took in her appearance; Tabitha was still wearing her black dress from this evenings banquet for the teams after the race; her long black hair had been let down, and fell in prefect spiral curls to her mid-back.
The fact that her eyes were still blue showed she had yet to take out her contact lens. Alexander was one of the few people that knew Tabitha's eyes were actually green; and that she wore the contacts, like he wore his mask, to help protect her identity from the many enemies they had made over the years.
"It was a tough race today." Tabitha commented, as she moved to stand beside him at the railing of the balcony. Her Spanish accent, which she only used in private, caused the words to roll in a way that Alex found to be soothing after a long race;
He nodded. "A very tough race;" Alexander replied, his voice had risen in pitch; and while still deep wasn't quite as deep as Racer X's voice. "A bit of a fight at the end."
"When during the race wasn't there a fight? Because I happened to see one at the start, during, and at the end" The low chuckle reached his ears, as Tabitha made a circling motion with her right hand for emphasis. "There were a lot of cheaters in the field this time. And a high casualty count this time." Her tone had grown serious as it often did when discussing the number of fixers and criminals that had infiltrated the WRL and was actually protected by the fact that they had the legitimate fronts of being major players in the business end of racing.
"That's why it's important to never take a win for granted." The dark-haired man said as he turned around, letting wind hit his face once again
"True. But you didn't have to do it all yourself. Speed took four of them out when they decided to take him on. You almost got caught in the aftermath of it too, to be honest. And I heard that Trixie got a bit of the action too, in a fight between her and Axe Wheeler's girlfriend, who tried to insult Speed."
A smile crept to his lips at the thought of Trixie taking on Axe Wheeler's girlfriend; since the woman was known to be more than capable of handling herself in a fight. Speed was lucky to have found a girl like that. That was something else that he and Speed had in common; because Tabitha never managed to stay out of danger either. However, she had recently become more willing to follow his orders about not taking unnecessary risks; but they still had disagreements as to what the definition was of unnecessary.
Seeing his smile, Tabitha decides to broach the subject that she had on her mind.
"Christmas is two weeks away," She began quietly knowing too well what the reaction was going to be to the phrase.
Alexander knew where she was heading on this, and it wasn't a road he wanted to go down. As he let out a sigh he said, "We've had this discussion before, Tabitha."
"I know that. It's just that, I had hoped you had changed your mind. And we could have this discussion again."
"But you don't understand just how bad the whole idea even is! It is a disaster just waiting to happen; and I'm talking the type of disaster that only cockroaches survive."
"I understand plenty. I just happen to firmly believe that you're wrong; because I think you shouldn't miss the chance to spend some time with your family. The Chief just thinks you shouldn't miss this chance to spend some time with your family. And he has been very generous with his offer this year." Tabitha contradicted, and with a sidelong glint of humor added: "Besides that, cockroaches are not as resilient as what you think; so it might not be the disaster you think it would be."
"Oh very funny," he muttered. "The Chief is also the man that believes that soup is a sold object. You are only arguing with me about this because you want to meet my family."
"Can you blame a girl for trying? After all I've heard about them, and watching Speed race, it's only natural for me to want to meet my in-laws."
While to the entire world, Racer X doesn't seem to have any connections or family at all. Alexander and Tabitha Recar had been married for almost three years now. Their marriage was a direct violation of ISP policy, but it was a policy that had been overlooked. Due to the fact that because of the work the two of them do, it was easy to see that one of the few things that keep them from completely losing their humanity was the love and support they got from each other. And no one at ISP had the nerve to try to deny them that small part of normal human relationship.
Looking back at his wife, he saw that she had a look in her eyes that he almost had to look away from. It was a rare talent of his wife's that her eyes were hypnotic. To those who weren't accustomed to it she could establish almost complete control; he had fallen into her trap a few times before she had taught him to counter it. And even though he was able to resist her contact covered eyes; Alex knew that, if she had taken out her contacts, he would be unable to hold his resolve.
He knew what her next statement would be asking him why he turned down the Chief's offers, both in the past and the current one, because of the number of times they had had this discussion.
He never had been able to give her an answer that she actually believed; due to the fact that she was a human polygraph, and is able to tell immediately if someone was lying to her. It didn't help that he didn't even believe them himself. So before she could even say it he decided to take control over the situation, and actually tell her the truth as he believed it.
"You've asked me before: why I do this to myself. I do it because I still don't feel like enough to go home yet. And I can't go back until I feel like I've done enough; that I am enough."
"But what if you never feel like enough? Do you really want to miss out on life with your family, due to you chasing something that maybe is impossible to achieve?" Tabitha asked him quietly. "You can't live your life trying to uphold such incredible expectations on yourself."
"I know that, believe me when I say I know, all to well. But I am still not ready to go back to my family, to show them exactly what I have become."
"What will make you ready? What will that take? Because if you ask me, there is nothing wrong with what you have become; In fact, I believe that if you could just allow yourself to see all that you've done, everything you've accomplished, the man that you are. Then I think you would see, that you should be proud of who you are, Alexander; and that if you let your family know about the man you are, then they would be justifiably proud of you too."
Alexander thought about what she had said and had almost started to argue with her; but Tabitha continued before he even got the chance.
"I think you really need to reconsider your definition of what 'enough' is. Enough is not something that you can chase; and hope, that one morning you will wake up and suddenly you are enough. Life doesn't work that way, Alex. You have to know what your definition of enough is; so that you know that when you are enough. And in order to be enough, you have to first be proud of yourself."
"How do I know what to call enough?" Alexander asked in a voice quiet, enough to show that her words had at least got him to begin thinking about what she had said. Tabitha smiled, and reached a hand up to touch his face. "Only you and you alone, can answer that." She paused for a moment and regarded her husband with an unreadable expression before adding, "You know we can provide protection to your family, Alex. That added with the fact no one else has to know the secret would be enough to secure their safety."
That last comment almost startled Alex; because when all the other reasons for continuing the secret life of Alexander/Racer X were striped away it all came down to the fact that he was concerned for the safety of his family. But it was a reason that Alex hadn't admitted to since he was a teenager, and had never told to anyone; because Alexander Recar didn't have a family with the exception of his wife.
But before Alex could question her; Tabitha glanced skyward for a moment before settling her gaze back on him, "I think we should probably head to bed; we have to be up early so we can fly home tomorrow. Are you going to be up for a while longer?"
Alex gave her a soft smile, knowing full well that she wasn't concerned with sleep; it was her excuse to allow him to be alone in his thoughts. She had spoken her peace and was going to leave it at that. "I don't feel like going to sleep, just yet; I'll be to bed soon." Tabitha gave him a small sweet kiss before turning to head back inside.
After hearing the door to the bedroom close, Alex turned back to the night sky; he knew his family was in rooms down the hall from his own, it would be so easy to just go down the hall to their room and reveal who he was.
Alex knew that once the initial shock had worn off, his mother and Speed would be thrilled. But the question was what would be Pops' reaction, to his revealing himself to his family. While it was true, it was safer for him now than what it was when he had left his family; he still had enemies out there that might try to take any advantage that they could to get to him.
He thought about what Tabitha had said about feeling like he was more than enough; it had been a conversation they had, had many times in the past. But for some reason, he was giving it more thought than what he normally did once it was over.
And her added comment about the safety of his family had caused him to begin weighing the Pros and Cons to the idea of returning to his family. But once again the cons were too significant to be ignored, and he knew that he had to continue the secrecy.
Note: I want to think Spice9 for the inspiration of the last name of Recar, it sounded foreign and it is Racer spelled backwards so I used it. Also thanks goes to DawningStar on her idea of after Rex left, he changed his name to Alex, I took it a step farther to him going by Alexander. Both ideas will play a larger part later on. So hit the little purple button and let me know what you think.