Cassian gripped the edges of the pulpit and he could hear the wood begin to groan. He stared down at the note cards resting on the glossy wooden surface. Though he'd written the words himself the night before, after probably a few too many glasses of scotch, the letters and characters seemed to be a different language. As his eyes began to blur, he cleared his throat for what seemed like the hundredth time since he walked to the front of the church. How are you supposed to read a eulogy you never wanted to write?
"Nesta was the most amazing woman I have ever known. She was loyal to a fault, beautiful, smart, loving, and, God," he paused, as he chuckled, taking a second to wipe a wayward tear from his cheek. "She was stubborn as hell."
He heard soft laughter from the people sitting in the small, quiet church.
"I tried for over 8 months to get this wonderful woman to go on one single date with me. And, she said "no". Every single time. But finally, I tricked her into it. The rest is history, and I was blessed to spend an amazing 4 years with the love of my life. We had our share of happiness, anger, heartache and despair, but no matter what, as long as we had each other, I knew we'd make it through. And we always did. But before she ever loved me, Nesta loved her sisters."
He glanced up, catching the watery eyes of Elain. The dark circles underneath her eyes almost matched their dark brown color, and as they looked at each other, the small smile on her lips faded as they began to tremble. Fresh tears fell down her pale cheeks and a strong, tan arm wrapped around her frail, shaking shoulders as Azriel pulled her into his side. He kissed the top of her head and murmured something as Cassian watched him blink away his own tears.
"After losing their mother, she did her best for them. And after their father's accident, she took over the role of caretaker for them both. She would've have given them the world, if she was able."
He looked to Feyre, the blue-grey eyes identical to Nesta's, as she clutched his brother's hand and held a small, shaking hand to her throat. Rhysand had one arm around her slim shoulders, while the other's hand held her own in his lap. He was staring down at them, as if he couldn't stand to look to the front. To the casket that held his sister-in-law's body.
Cassian looked down into the casket, at the devastatingly beautiful woman lying there. Had he not known the circumstances, he would have thought she was just sleeping. Her full lips were painted the color of Elain's rose garden, Nesta's favorite place to be. Her hair was swept off of her face and elegantly curled, resting on her shoulders. She looked so peaceful. The urge to step down and press a kiss to her forehead was overwhelming and he could feel his body tensing to move when a quiet but impatient coo filled the air.
Cassian's eyes snapped shut, but not before he could stop the tears that began to roll down his cheeks.
He heard Feyre lean over and quietly "shhh," the tiny bundle of blankets that held his 5-month-old son as she rocked the carrier. He heard his tears hit the wood of the pulpit as he bowed his head and a small sob tore from his body.
He could still see his secretary barging into his office, telling him that there was a nurse on the phone and that there'd been an accident. He could still feel the gears shifting in his car as he raced to the hospital. He could still hear the doctor telling him what had happened, but only certain words seemed to stick: "drunk driver", "we did all we could", "I'm so sorry", "dead".
He heard the sniffling and murmuring of the mourners, here to pay their respects, as he fell apart at the front of the church. He heard the quiet steps coming toward him, but when a hand gripped his own, his eyes opened and he glanced to its owner.
Morrigan, stunning as always, stood next to him, and she squeezed his hand tightly as she stared out at their friends and family. She had never believed that Nesta was the right match for Cassian, even after they were married and had a baby on the way. They bickered constantly, because Mor believed Cass deserved better and Nesta believed Mor could go to hell. But as she picked up Cassian's tear-stained notecards and cleared her throat, he saw the tears falling from her eyes. He saw that she was hurting as badly as the rest of their family was.
So he held her hand and they sent their sweetheart home together.