A/N: Hello min'na-san! This is my first Ranma fanfic. This is some sort of monologue of how I think my darling Ranma would think about his er unique life. Those inside of parentheses are descriptions or words said by another character. I've written this a few months ago during one boring afternoon class and I think it turned out. . . well okay. So anyway hope you like it!
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ doesn't belong to me, it belongs to the talented Takahashi Rumiko.
Ranma: My Story
Life sucks. . .
I lived the damnest life
(splashed with cold water)
See what I mean?
I'm girl half the time
A curse I've obtained
A stupid curse that puts me in trouble most of the time
(explosion in the kitchen)
(rolls her eyes)
Anyway, where was that warm water again?
There it is!
(pours warm water into herself)
That's better!
Now, back to my story
Addition to my being half-girl
I also have a father whose half-panda
Weird, eh?
What's weirder is that I have a tomboy of a fiancée
She's uncute, unsexy and downright ugly
She's violent too, uncoordinated and unfeminine in many ways
So I just cant get it why guys hang around her
Yeah. I know what you're thinking
If guys are so much into her then. . .
I'm enemy number one
(sighs)
I mean what's their problem?
It's not like as if I like her or nothing
It was our stupid parents who decided the whole thing
(suddenly, a girl stops him in the hallway)
(she presented to him what were supposed to be cookies)
(he shook his head and started to back away)
(he heard her shouting for him to come back)
No way! Never! Why?
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you
Her cooking is poison
(walks around for a while)
(stops abruptly)
(enters a restaurant)
(the girl in the counter looks up and smiled his way)
("Honey!" the girl shouted happily)
(he smiled back)
That's Ukyou, she's another fiancée of mine
Cute? Isn't she?
I've known her since we were just kids
Though I didn't know during that time
That she was supposed to be a girl
And was supposed to be engaged to me,
She did. . .
And it turned out that she loved me even then
(he sat down at the counter and ordered one okonomiyaki)
(she smiled again and started cooking his favorite food)
Wow! It smells great
Unlike my other fiancée]
Ukyou is a great cook
I really like her
Really like her. . . as a friend
Damn! That's another problem
I don't know how to hurt my best friend
I don't want her to get mad at me again
But I don't know how to return her feelings
(Ukyou sets his food in front of him)
(he started to eat)
(the door swung open)
("Ranma!")
(he looked over his shoulder)
Ryoga.
(he came towards him)
(he started shouting curses)
("Ranma! How dare you be seen with another girl
when you already have Akane as your fiancée!"
(he ignored Ryoga and continued eating
(as expected, Ukyou came to his defense)
("Stop that! Ranma-honey's eating, you jerk!
I'm not just another girl, I'm Ranma-honey's fiancée too!")
And so they started to fight
Forgetting all about me
("Stay out of this. I'm not talking to you," Ryoga countered)
("Who's talking? I'm arguing with you, stupid," Ukyou snickered)
I think it's my cue to go now
(he quietly exited the restaurant)
Stupid Ryoga, he didn't know better
What was wrong with him falling for that tomboy
And there was that Akane fusing over her P-chan
P-chan, black pig. . . Ryoga Hibiki, teenage boy
They were the same body
Ryoga got the same curse as me
And he blames me for it. . .
(sighs wearily)
What to do? What to do?
(kringgggggg!!!!!!)
(in a flash, a girl leapt from a bike)
(she landed right on top of him)
("Ni hao!" she greeted, burying her head in his chest)
Her name's Shampoo. She's my fiancée too
She's an Amazon who I've defeated in a match
She used to hate me because of that
She tried to kill me. . . followed me everywhere
But when she found out that I'm really a guy
She'd been gaga over me ever since
(he tried to push her away)
Knowing for a fact that wherever she was
("Ranma Saotome!")
Mousse was sure to follow
Once again, curses were thrown my way
And if Shampoo weren't holding me down
He'd surely start a fight with me
But he doesn't want to hurt his precious Shampoo
It's obvious that he's in love with her
So unfortunately for me,
Another guy thinks I'm archrival
(he tried to push Shampoo away again)
Still no use!
(the three was splashed with cold water)
(his body turned into a girl)
(and on top of him was a furry ball of. . .)
Cat!
(he threw Shampoo away)
I hate cats!
The only thing I'm actually scared of
(Mousse, now a duck, dove to catch Shampoo)
(Ranma leapt to his feet)
(brown eyes stared back at him)
So it was her who did it
My uncute, unsexy fiancée
She's cute when she smiles though
(she hears Shampoo purring in the background)
(her fear went over the edge)
(he threw herself into Akane's arms)
(she petted her)
So that's why she was smiling
But I didn't care
I like it when she smiles
Especially if its for me
(they went back home together)
(she pours warm water into her)
(after a while, his cat mode disappeared)
(he shifted away from her)
("Um. . . Ranma," she began tentatively)
I prepared to say that I didn't mean any of it
I wasn't myself when it happened all so fast
It was like that time that I kissed her unconsciously
(he looked at her)
(he opened his mouth to speak)
(she shoved a cookie into his mouth)
(he choked)
What is she thinking?
Trying to kill me or something?
(she started shouting at him)
She's jealous. . . figures
("What were you doing just then with Shampoo?
It was a good thing I came just in time!")]
("Where did you run off to? To Ukyou's?
What? You ate there even after I baked you cookies?")
And on and on she went like a mad gorilla
Huh. . . and for a moment there, I actually thought she was cute!
As I've said before
Life sucks. . .
A/N: well? How was it? I love Ranma ½ best of all animes so a review will mean a lot. Tell me if I got Ran-chan's personality right or whatever! Tell me anything. Constructive criticisms are welcome but no flames please! Please do leave a review and tell me if I should leave it at that or make it into a multi-chapter fic. Um you know a chapter for every major character. Well that's everything. Ja ne!