If I had to choose one word to describe our relationship...I would say forced. Yes, I was the first to show interest and in a way, I guess I was asking for this, but I certainly didn't expect things to move so fast. In fact, everything went by so fast that I didn't really even have time to figure out how I truly felt. I was whisked along by my friends wishes, not my own. I would have been content with a few dates here and there as we got to know each other, but the others seemed to immediately deem her as mine from the moment she gifted me the rose. So, when Syn showed interest as well, they urged me to stand my ground. I was swept up in the heat of the moment, and for a while I honestly thought I loved her, even though I barely knew anything about her.
When she started playing hard-to-get, I was momentarily brought to my senses. I realized that I wasn't willing to fight so hard for someone I had just met. Besides, they were to take us to the home place of Lady Ianite, so I had more important things to worry about then a relationship with the captain. After giving up, she showed interest in me again. It was confusing, but she seemed willing enough to go slowly like I had wanted to. We went on a couple dates too, which was much more my style.
Then Jericho must have decided that things were going to slowly for him, because he took it upon himself to decide that I was to marry Capsize. At this point I was more interested than before, but I still wasn't ready for that sort of commitment, I had only gone on a couple dates! I never did get to hear Capsize's feelings on the situation, since she was slain by Furia shortly after that.
I should have been more saddened by that than I was. I had been filled with rage during the incident, but I still couldn't bring myself to confront him, and her brother avenged her instead. When we returned home I was upset, of course, but I got over it quicker than I should have. My friends tiptoed around me, thinking I would be devastated, but...I focused on finding both her and Lady Ianite instead. The task took up so much of my time and thoughts that I honestly barely felt the sting of Capsize's death.
As we stood before a newly restored Ianite, I felt more suspense than the others for Capsize's return. Jericho still insisted on the marriage, and I was still unwilling. So, instead of feeling the joy I should have as I heard my Lady announce she could bring Captain Capsize back, I felt very withdrawn, like I was watching the events occur from very far away.
The horror of seeing a zombified Capsize shuffling towards us was overweighed by a massive feeling that, to this day, I wouldn't dare admit to my friends. While they cried out in dismay and anger, and RedBeard in grief, I found myself startlingly calm. It was surprising to see...but I felt so...relieved. No longer would I have to worry about being forced into a relationship I didn't want, or about having to chase after a girl who couldn't make up her mind. I could grieve quietly over a fellow captain and loyal follower of Ianite, and I felt at peace.
AN: I thought I'd try a new twist on the Sparksize ship, since I hadn't seen anyone do something like this before. I much prefer taking the character of Sparklez and making him more in love with Capsize, but today I tried to do a more "realistic" approach to it, since Jordan himself seemed reluctant at times to continue with the whole Sparksize thing.
For anyone following my Mianite series, I'll try and have the next chapter up today, but no guarantees.