(FAMILY GRUMMLING)
TRACY: [Opening lines at the beginning of the movie; Tracy's frantically looking for her sunblock] Has anybody seen my sunblock?
SONDRA: What's the point in going to Florida if you're going to put on sunblock?
MEGAN: I don't care if I age like an old suitcase, I'm getting toasted.
BUZZ: Great, now you can be a skag with a slightly darker shade of skin.
BROOKE: He's just jealous because he doesn't tan. His freckles just connect.
UNCLE FRANK: [walks by, sees his son Fuller drinking a Coke, and snatches it away from him] Hey, easy on the fluids, pal, the rubber sheets are packed.
[Uncle Frank then drinks the Coke himself]
HOST:
Behind "Ding" is 200 points!
All right!
That gives you 4700 points.
HOST ON RECORDER:
200 points! All right!
[SCENE: Kevin's bedroom. Kate enters holding her and Peter's third daughter and final child: one year old Karina]
KATE: Honey, are you packed yet?
KEVIN: Yes. Yes.
KATE: Everything I put out?
KEVIN: Yes. Yes.
KATE: Oh, did you see what Grandma sent you?
KEVIN: Let me guess. Donald Duck slippers?
KATE: Close. Inflatable clown to play with in the pool. How exciting.
KEVIN: Why Florida? There's no Christmas trees in Florida. What is it with Christmas trees? How can you have Christmas
without a Christmas tree?
KATE: We'll find a nice fake silver one. Or decorate a palm tree.
ANNOUNCER[On Kevin's TV]: Guests of Ding, Dang, Dong
stay at the world-renowned Plaza Hotel:
New York's most exciting
hotel experience.
For reservations, call toll-free,
1- 800-759...
KATE: Where's the camcorder battery?
PETER: I put it in the charger.[Kissed up her arm]
KEVIN[Gags]: Oh, ew, Mom and Dad!
[Karina claps and giggles]
MAN ON THE TV: How's this?
WOMAN ON TV: Oh, much better.
PETER: Hey Kevin, you better go put your tie on. We don't wanna be late for the Christmas pageant.
KEVIN: My tie is in the bathroom and I can't go in because Uncle Frank is taking a shower. He says that if I walked in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man.
[Peter and Kate stare]
KEVIN: Whatever that means.
PETER: [after a pause, chuckles] I'm sure he was kidding. Just, uh, run in there, get your tie, get out, and don't look at... Anything.
KARINA: Bubby!
[Kevin ticked Baby Karina then went to the bathroom]
[SCENE: The bathroom]
FRANK SINGS WITH RADIO:
Well
This cat they're talking about
I wonder who, could it be
'Cause I know I'm the heaviest cat
The heaviest cat you ever did see
When they see me
Walkin ' down the street
None of the fellas want to speak
Hey, hey, hey
On their faces they wear a silly smirk
'Cause they know
I'm the king
Of the cool jerks
[Saw Kevin videotaping him]
UNCLE FRANK: Get out of here, you nosy little pervert,
or I'll slap you silly!
[Goes back to singing after Kevin escapes in fear]
UNCLE FRANK: Oh, you're cooking, Frankie.
[At the Christmas pagent]
CHOIR: Christmas tree
My Christmas tree
Lit up like a star
When I see
My Christmas tree
Can loved ones be far
Christmas tree
I'm certain
Wherever I roam
PETER: Kevin's solo's coming up. Tell Leslie.
KATE: Kevin's solo's coming up. Tell Frank.
LESLIE: Frank!
(CHOIR IS SINGING)
Christmastime means laughter
Toboggans in the snow
Caroling together
With faces aglow
Stockings on the mantel
A wreath on the door
And my merriest Christmas
Needs just one thing more
GIRL:
Christmas tree
My Christmas tree
[Buzz puts the candle sticks up to Kevin and Kevin pushed him. The whole choir all fell down except Kevin himself]
(SCREAMING)
(SHOUTS)
KATE: Kevin!
KARINA[Points to Kevin]: Bubby!
(People turned to see a red haired toddler point at one of her three brothers, shouting "Bubby!")
KATE: Karina, no. Stop it!
(Karina cries at her mother telling her to be quiet)
(Hands Karina to Leslie then goes to the powder room. Karina calms down and Leslie hands her to Peter)
PETER[To Karina]: How's Daddy's little girl?
[Karina nods flashing a smile]
KARINA: Me hungry Daddy.
PETER: You are gorgeous, you look like your mother.
[Karina laughs clapping and starts pointing at Kevin again]
[SCENE: The McCalister living room]
Buzz McCallister: [looking at the Chistmas tree] Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...
[turns around to face the family]
BUZZ: I'd like to apologize to my family for whatever displeasure I may have caused you...
KEVIN: What?
BUZZ: My prank was immature and ill-timed.
UNCLE FRANK: Immature or not, it was pretty gol-darn hilarious.
[laughs while everyone else glares]
BUZZ: I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.
BUZZ: [after making a formal apology to the family; whispers to Kevin] Beat that, you little trout sniffer.
?: Aren't you going to say anything to Buzz?
KEVIN: [gets up] I'm not sorry. I did what I did because Buzz humiliated me and since he gets away with everything, I let him have it. And since you're all so STUPID to believe his lies, I don't care if your idiotic Florida trip gets wrecked or not! Who wants to spend Christmas in a tropical climate, anyway?
[turns to leave]
KATE: Kevin!
PETER: Kevin, you walk out of here and you sleep on the third floor.
FULLER: [gleefully] Yeah, with me.
KEVIN: So what else is new?
UNCLE FRANK: You better not wreck my trip, you little sour puss, your dad's paying good money for it.
KEVIN: Oh, wouldn't wanna spoil your fun, Mr. Cheap Skate!
[Exits]
BUZZ: What a troubled young man.
KARINA: Bubby Kevin in trouble.[Frowns] Bad Bubby Buzz![Hits Buzz in the nose.]
BUZZ: Oww, Karina![Rubs his nose]
(CUT TO UPSTAIRS)
KATE: Last time we tried to take a trip,
we had a problem just like this.
KEVIN: Yeah, with me getting crapped on.
KATE: I don't care for your choice of words.
KEVIN: That's not what happened.
KATE: Buzz apologized to you.
KEVIN: Yeah, then he called me
a trout-sniffer.
KATE: He didn't mean it.
KEVIN: He was just sucking up to you.
KATE: Okay, why don't you just sit up here
and think things over?
When you're ready to apologize
to everyone, you can come down.
I'm not apologizing to Buzz.
KEVIN: I'd rather kiss a toilet seat!
KATE: Then stay up here all night.
KEVIN: I don't want to go down anyway!
I can't trust anybody in this family.
You know what? If I had my own
money, I'd go on my own vacation.
Alone, without any of you. And I'd
have the most fun of my whole life.
KATE: You got your wish last year.
Maybe you will this year.
KEVIN: I hope so.
(STATUE CLANKS)
(DOORMELL RINGS)
[SCENE: The master bedroom at morning time]
KATE: Ahh, We did it again!
PETER: We did it again!
[They jump out of bed]
(SCREAMING)
(CLAMORING)
[SCENE: The airport, everyone is rushing into there. One of the adults are holding Karina]
?: Our McCallisters here,
other McCallisters there.
MEGAN: I shouldn't complain, but
you give the worst wake-up calls.
?: Do you have the tickets?
?: I've got them. Here's your family's.
?: - How many do you have?
- Seven.
?: - We have seven.
- 15!
Seven...
...eight...
...nine, ten.
- How come we're not sitting together?
This time of year, we're lucky to get
on the same plane. 11, 12, 13.
Where's Kevin?
KEVIN: Good thing I have my own ticket,
just in case you try to ditch me.
-?: Come on.
KEVIN: I need batteries.
PETER: I'll give them to you on the plane.
- Here's two more.
- Why not now?
?: Not now! What's the gate number?
H-17.
MAN: Better hurry, it's the last gate.
BUZZ: Dad, what gate is it?
PETER: H-17, Buzz. Come on, Kevin.
Kevin, you gonna take my bag?
Take my bag.
Come on. Come on.
ANNOUNCER: American Airlines
flight 226 to New York...
... is now in the final
boarding process.
Come on. Come on!
KEVIN: Dad, wait up!
KEVIN: Dad, wait up!
KEVIN: Wait up!
KEVIN: Wait!
KATE:
Come on, come on!
KEVIN:
Dad, wait!
KATE:
Here we are! Here!
LESLIE:
We made it.
Everybody here? We made it?
All right.
PLANE ANNOUNCER: Please board, the plane's leaving.
- I'll make sure everyone gets on.
- We'll get everyone on.
WOMAN:
Merry Christmas. Have a nice flight.
MEGAN: Bye.
- Bye-bye.
KEVIN: Hey, wait up!
KEVIN: Hey, guys, wait for me!
- Cutting it kind of close.
- Yes.
FLIGHT ATTENDA: Merry Christmas.
MAN IN COAT: Merry Christmas.
KEVIN: Wait!
KEVIN: Wait!
KEVIN I'm sorry.
FLIGHT ATTEND: That's okay. Are you on this flight?
Yeah. My family's on the plane.
KEVIN: I don't want to be left here.
FLIGHT ATTENDTANT: Do you have a boarding pass?
KEVIN: Somewhere...
They're ready to go.
He dropped his pass.
This happened to me last year
and almost wrecked my Christmas.
You sure your family's onboard?
KEVIN: My dad ran in right before I bumped into this lady.
Moard him. Make sure he locates
his family before you leave him.
Okay. Come on.
Do you see your family?
There's my dad.
- Find an empty seat. Merry Christmas.
- You too.
In order to push back from the gate...
... all passengers must have
their seat belts fastened.
So have you ever been to Florida?
(SPEAKS IN FRENCH)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RECORDER)
Welcome aboard American Airlines
flight 176 non-stop to New York.
PETER:
I didn 't think we'd make it.
Something wrong?
Cara Mia?
KATE: I have that feeling.
PETER: We forgot something?
KATE: No, I don't think we did,
but I just have that feeling.
Just bad memories.
PETER We did everything, brought everything. We have everybody.
There's nothing to worry about.
KATE: Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
You're right. We're fine.
PETER:
Nothing to worry about.[He kissed her]
BUZZ: Eww Mom and Dad!
KEVIN: Mom? Dad? Uncle Frank? Buzz?
We're the last ones off the plane.
Where are those guys?
PETER: Is this Megan's?
KATE: It's Brooke's.
Give this to Brooke, this to Kevin.
[the family passes Kevin's bag around from Peter all the way to Fuller]
Peter: Give this to Kevin.
Kate: Give this to Kevin.
Leslie: Give this to Kevin.
Tracy: Give this to Kevin.
Linnie: Kevin.
Buzz: Give this to Kevin.
Rod: Give this to Kevin.
Sondra: Give this to Kevin.
Megan: Give this to Kevin.
Jeff: Give this to Kevin.
Brooke: Give this to Kevin.
Fuller: Here you go, Kevin.
[but instead of Kevin, Fuller notices 2 elderly people, so he passes the bag around to the others]
Fuller: Kevin's not here.
Brooke: Kevin's not here.
Jeff: Kevin's not here.
Megan: Kevin's not here.
Sondra: Kevin's not here.
Rod: Kevin's not here.
Linnie: Kevin's not here.
Tracy: Kevin's not here.
Leslie: Kevin's not here.
Kate: Kevin's not here.[she hands the bag to Peter, who suddenly reacts]

Peter: What?!

[Kate only reacts by laughing, until...]

Kate: KEVIN?!

[she faints]

Excuse me, this is an emergency!

Yes, sir?
What city is that?
That's New York.
Yikes, I did it again!
Something wrong, sir?
I'll be fine.
Oh, no. My family's in Florida
and I'm in New York.
My family's in Florida?
I'm in...
...New York?
Wow.
What's the child's name?
- Kevin.
- K-E-V-l-N.
When did you see him last?
Curbside check-in?
No, I saw him at the door.
He was with us in the terminal.
Most people get separated at security.
Did everyone get through security?
I don't know. Peter...
We were in a hurry.
We ran all the way to the gate.
When did you notice he was missing?
When we picked up our baggage here.
- Has the boy ever run away from home?
- No.
Has he ever been in a situation
on his own?
As a matter of fact,
this has happened before.
KATE: It's becoming a McCallister
family travel tradition.
Funnily enough,
we never lose our luggage.
(KNOCKING)
PETER: He was left at home,
by accident, last year.
That's what my wife meant calling it
a McCallister family travel tradition.
We'll call Chicago and...
...notify them of the situation.
The odds are that's where he is.
Thanks.
Very unlikely he'd be anywhere else.
(HORN HONKS)
DRIVER:
Watch out, kid!

This is to be continued next chapter...