Author's Note: This is an AU that I've wanted to do for a while now - basically, it's a modern AU in which they have still gone to war and suffered through the tragedies of the games. Normally, I ship Garrus and Shepard, but this is an AU for Kaidan and I can't bring myself to write it with Garrus.

Also (and this may just be me being paranoid) but I have never written a handicapped character before. So, if I do something wrong or if I offend any of you, I am seriously so so sorry and I didn't mean to. Message me and let me know and I will work really hard to fix anything and make sure that it does not happen again.

Enjoy

~ Elliott

Citadel was a small town. Everyone knew each other and everyone knew your secrets. You either grew up as best friends or enemies, and generally there was no making up. Citadel was the place for family feuds to last generations. It was modest and it was sweet. There was a diner on the corner that claimed to have been there from the very beginning, and people just believed them on principle. No one bothered to investigate because this place was home and they had no reason to doubt the small family diner. The rest of the town had adapted to the changing times and there were even a few tourist attractions. They still didn't have very many tourists, but it was the thought that counted in most situations.

The people of Citadel were not your typical small town folk. Sure, there were a few that could fit the stereotypes, but most of the people tried to break away from the norm. If someone from the outside actually bothered to look closely, they would see that Citadel held a myriad of personalities and not one person was alike. Generally, people passing through didn't care enough to stop and look at the details. And then, there weren't very many people passing through.

The people of Citadel lived calm lives. They lived lives that were normal and mundane by most standards. Their children grew up happily and there were not many tragedies to be had. That wasn't to say that there wasn't death or misfortune, but when there was, everyone pulled together for that family. No one was ever alone because someone else always had your back. As a side effect of that, Citadel was one of the last places to feel the effects of the war.

The war was brutal and the people of Citadel were not clueless as to what was going on. They had new channels and they saw the death that went on every day. This inspired most of the young men to take a stand and go and fight for their country. Citadel said their goodbyes to many of their children and waited for them to come back. Most of them did not.

The one squad that managed to come back was squad Normandy.

Shepard rolled out of bed and slammed her hand down onto her alarm clock. It buzzed at her a few more times before she could hit the button correctly and effectively shut it up. She pushed herself into a sitting position with a loud groan, running a hand through her tangled red hair as the sun pierced into her eyes. She cursed as she stretched, trying to shut her blinds.

"Shep, you up?" Tali called from the kitchen in a voice that was far too perky for this time of the morning. Shepard groaned again, getting an acknowledging laugh out of Tali. "Come on, Sunshine. The day is starting!"

Shepard forced her eyes open and fixed her eyes on the wheelchair positioned by her side. She felt her heart grow heavy as the familiar lump formed in her throat. She sighed heavily and pulled her hair out of her face, reaching out for the wheelchair and pulling it closer to her. She pushed herself into it and maneuvered around the bed.

"What's for breakfast, Tali?" Shepard asked as she came into the kitchen. Tali looked over her shoulder and laughed loudly, startling Shepard.

"Your hair -"

"Shut up, or so help me god -"

"Right, sorry, sorry. Um, we're having eggs today." Tali managed through the remainder of her laughter. Shepard flipped her off and Tali laughed harder. She scooped a serving of eggs onto a plate and handed it to Shepard who was now working towards a glass of orange juice. Shepard took it and moved over to the table, leaning over it in clear exhaustion.

"You work today?" Shepard asked around a mouth of eggs. Tali nodded as she served her own plate and came to sit beside Shepard.

"All day - I'm covering Miranda's shift." Tali explained, reaching over and taking the glass of orange juice. Shepard protested in vain, watching as Tali took a large drink of it. Shepard fixed her with an expression that was pure exasperation. "What are your plans today?"

Shepard stared down at her plate, chewing the bite of eggs in her mouth slowly. She shrugged and grunted.

"Nothing."

"Allie -"

"What did I say about first names?" Shepard waved her fork in Tal's face in some form of a threat. Tali smirked and lowered her bright eyes, handing the glass of orange juice back to Shepard. Shepard could see that she was thinking of something grim as the smile vanished from her face. "What's wrong, Tali?"

"It's just… I know that you don't like talking about it, and I know that it hurts…. I just want you to talk to me like we used to." Tali explained in a forlorn voice. Shepard nodded, a chunk of tangled hair falling over her shoulder. "I miss you, Allie."

"Tali -"

"I know, I know." Tali stood, plate in hand, and moved towards the kitchen. "I have to go, otherwise I'm going to be late for work."

"Bulllshit. It's right down the street." Shepard smirked, trying to lighten the mood. "Have a good day."

Tali put her plate in the sink, turning to face Shepard as she leaned against the counter. Her wide, childish eyes seemed to study Shepard carefully, calculating her next words. Finally, she gave up, moving around and back to Shepard's side. She pushed Shepard away from the table, sitting in her lap before she could protest. Shepard sighed and wrapped her arms around Tali as Tali pulled her into a tight hug.

"Maybe you could try painting today?"

Shepard tensed and tightened her arms around Tali. Tali was like a sister to her, but if she kept pushing these buttons…

"Maybe, Tali. Maybe."

Shepard had waited a few hours after Tali left to try and get ready for the day. After a huge battle with the shower, she came back out of her room in a presentable fashion. Her long curly hair now fell down to her waist in a tamed fashion, although curls still poked in every which way. She had also, surprisingly, managed to find a clean outfit to wear, despite the growing piles of laundry around the house. Now, she was left alone with only her thoughts.

Tali had suggested she paint, but that usually only ended badly. It triggered panic attacks or brought back memories that she would rather forget. There were things from the war that even Tali didn't know about and, if Shepard could help it, no one would ever know about. One of those things was how she lost her legs.

Cursing, Shepard grabbed her keys and headed out of the house.

"Hey there, Lola." James greeted her over the counter of the diner with a big grin. Shepard smiled back with a wave, startled when he came around the corner and pulled her into a hug - awkward for him, since he had to bend down to half his height.

"Hey, Vega. How're things?" Shepard gave him another smile as he pulled away.

"Good, good. Steve finally moved in last week." James' grin widened and grew even brighter. Shepard could only imagine what happiness like that felt like. She was happy for James, though.

"That's good. How is it, living with someone else? You were quite the bachelor in your youth, Vega." Shepard teased, getting a light punch to the arm.

"You're just jealous." Vega teased as he walked around to grab her a menu. She rolled her eyes and shrugged, deciding to play along.

"Right, jealous of what? How I could never end up with you because of how gay you are for Steve?" Shepard laughed as he threatened to throw the menu at her. She followed him to her usual seat - or rather, lack of seat - by the window. He practically slammed the menu down on the table, still smiling sarcastically.

"Just for that, I might burn your coffee. On purpose." Vega teased and Shepard smacked him in the arm. He turned to leave, tending to the other customers.

Shepard leaned back slightly in the wheelchair, looking around the diner. Doctor Chakwas was sitting with Doctor Liara T'soni, no doubt comparing notes over their shared patients. Miranda was miserably bent over the table and a cup of soup, so sick it must have been a struggle for her to get out of bed to come get food. That was probably why Tali had to cover her shift at the small repair shop Citadel had - a repair shop that literally fixed everything from computers to washing machines. Some other familiar faces filled the diner, laughter falling from their lips as they ate their meals. Shepard tried to immerse herself in that happiness, but found that it almost nauseated her. She looked out the window instead.

She could feel her expression grow somber and she knew that Vega would be over to ask questions sometime soon. She just focused on the weather, trying to make the sunshine make her feel happy. She wanted to be happy, it was just the memories that held her back. The memories and the ever-present reminder that she had no legs and would be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of her life. That always tended to put a damper on her mood.

She hadn't painted in years because every time she did, it felt like she was suffocating herself. She could only paint the memories of war and blood and death. She couldn't paint smiling faces in the diner, or sunshine on the street - she couldn't paint anything that didn't scream of loss and tragedy.

She knew that people wanted to talk to her about it, and she knew that she should talk to people about it, but she just didn't. Not because she didn't trust the people around her - many of the people she had literally trusted with her life - but it was because she couldn't say the words. She couldn't say the words to make it all go away and that was what scared her the most.

"Hot guy at three o'clock," Ashley was suddenly by Shepard's ear, bent down and handing her food. Shepard was startled out of her deep thoughts, green eyes flitting out the window and landing on the new stranger.

He looked lost, holing his phone in his hand and desperately trying to read the GPS directions. He had parked his motorcycle in one of the open spots right outside the window, practically right in front of Shepard. She watched him remove his helmet and stare at the phone with black hair now falling into his eyes. His golden eyes. She looked away right as he looked through the window.

"Ash." Shepard hissed and Ashley laughed. She sat down next to Shepard, watching her wit excited eyes.

"Go help him."

"What? Are you crazy - wait, don't answer that. You obviously are." Shepard waved Ashley away as she stuck a forkful of food into her mouth. She couldn't help but look out the window again to see the man curse in anger. She sighed and looked back at Ashley who was giving her the biggest puppy dog eyes possible. "God damn it. What do you care about my dating life, Ash?"

"Not your dating life - I want to see you smile and be happy again." Ashley leapt to her feet and pulled Shepard away from the table much to the other woman's protest. She reached back and smacked Ashley's hands away.

"You know I hate it when you do that," She growled, wheeling away before Ashley could mutter out some apology. Shepard knew she didn't mean to, but it was hard to remember that when it happened every day of your life.

She wheeled out of the small diner, taking the handicap ramp down to stop beside the man on the motorcycle.

"You look a little lost."

"Is it that obvious?" He retorted, looking over to her. His golden eyes met hers and he smiled lightly. She offered him a gentle smirk back.

"Citadel isn't a big town - what can I help you find?" Shepard stuck out her hand for the phone. He eyed her questioningly before handing over the device and watching as she enlarged the GPS map.

"I'm looking for the motel and every turn that the blasted thing tells me to take just takes me around in a giant fucking circle." He explained exasperatedly. Shepard felt herself let out a small laugh.

"There hasn't been a motel in this town for about ten years. Your GPS is horribly outdated." Shepard stated through a small shake of laughter. She gestured for the man to follow her inside. "I can get you a map from one of the staff."

"Thanks. God, I feel like such an idiot now." He stuffed his phone back into his pocket, sticking his hand out for a handshake. "I'm Kaidan."

"Shepard." She answered, taking his hand in hers. She saw the glint of a question in his eyes at the name, but he said nothing. She wheeled herself around and led the way back up the ramp with him close behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Ashely watching her through the window. She rolled her eyes and reached forward for the door, only to find that Kaidan was already opening it for her. She looked up and then back down, deciding not to say anything.

"Hey, Vega, you got a map Kaidan can borrow?" Shepard smacked a hand against the podium to gain Vega's attention. The man turned around, eyes landing on Kaidan first and then on Shepard.

"I'll go check, Lola. Think you might have better luck with the general store, though." James said in an offhand manner, giving Shepard a weird look for a moment. She waved him away with a scowl and he laughed as he vanished behind the corner.

"You can come sit with me if you want, Kaidan. No use in you just standing there." Shepard offered as she pushed herself down the aisle and back to her seat. Ashley was there, patiently waiting with an excuse to refill her coffee, Shepard knew. Shepard flipped her off and Ashley laughed. She bent down next to Shepard to whisper in her ear.

"What's his name?"

"Ask him yourself."

"Shepard -"

"Ash." Shepard smiled widely and cockily as she looked to Ashley who pulled away as Kaidan came to sit down with Shepard. Ashley smacked Shepard on the back of the head, knocking curls into her face, and turned to leave, smiling briefly at Kaidan.

"You learn to ignore the abuse that goes on here." Shepard said with a well-placed smile as she shook the curls from her face. Kaidan laughed.

"Something tells me that you can handle whatever comes your way." He mused, golden eyes scanning her. Shepard felt herself straighten and could almost feel blush creeping up her cheeks.

"What gave you that idea?"

"Hmm," Kaidan reached across the table and plucked a curl out of her face, tucking it back into place. "I'm going to have to answer 'your overall feminine charm.'" He teased. Normally, Shepard would have scowled and kicked him in the shin. Now, however, she smiled and laughed, her eyes lighting up with the action. Kaidan watched her eyes very closely.

"Smooth." Shepard teased.

"What can I say, I'm a natural." He chuckled.