The Family Hero:
Long A/N: Hello to you my lovely readers! I noticed that there was a lot of talk about the new episode of the librarians. Hmmm. I wonder why. Oh! Maybe it's because Ezekiel ripped my heart open and broke it into thousands of pieces. I literally spent the entire episode yelling "Someone give him a hug!" at my TV. Although, Cassandra gave him a little kiss on the cheek, so that was fun. I know that there will be a lot of fanfics out about this episode (that I look forward to staying up all night to read) so I wanted to get mine out there. This was a request from an anon. Also, I am writing another one of these, but instead of team bonding it's more Jenkins and Ezekiel because a different Anon requested it. Onto the reason why you're actually here."
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except the tears that flow freely from my eyes.
Run. Faster. FASTER! It doesn't matter anymore. They're dead. It's ok. It'll just reset, right? Wrong. You caused this. They're dead and never coming back and it's all your fault. You're the reason that the world will fall to magic. There is no way that you could stop the end of the world, not you. You're the thief. The kid who abuses his power. You are nothing. You are the destroyer of the world!
Ezekiel Jones sat straight up in his bed. His heart was pounding like a hummingbird. This was the third day in a row that he had woken from a nightmare. In some of them, he would hear the voice as he fell into the void, except he never came back. All that he could hear was the sound of his team, criticizing his every move. His body ached, hand still blistered from the intense heat. Then, just before he landed, he would see the rage people coming closer and closer, amongst them, Cassandra, Jake, and Eve. Just as he hit the ground, their forms spilling over onto his body, eyes glowing red, he'd wake up. In some of the others, he saw every single time he failed, every time he let them die.
He turned over, looking for a cool spot on his pillow, finding nothing. He glanced over at his alarm clock, the red numbers glowing in the pitch black room, 2:03 A.M. He groaned as he ran a weary hand over his tired eyes. Three days without sleep can take a toll on a guy. Not only was he exhausted, but he was having trouble keeping up with his facade. The others didn't know that he remembered everything. He knew that they would treat him differently if they had known of the trauma and turmoil that he had been through. It was easier for him to say that he didn't remember, rather than explaining why he refuses to play video games, or why his hand still had blisters on it, or especially why he looked exhausted all of the time. For the rest of the night he laid on his bed, tossing and turning, but wide awake. When his alarm clock went off, he simply turned over and slapped it, turning it off. He groaned again before getting up and getting ready, then he left for the Annex.
Cassandra was relaxing in the Annex enjoying a cup of tea provided by Jenkins. Jake was reading a book of poetry while Baird was sorting through some old photo albums. She heard a slight shuffle and glanced up as she saw Ezekiel trudge in, looking worse for wear. His hair was tousled and his eyes were bloodshot. She had been thinking about him a lot lately. He had her worried. He had been through a very traumatic event, as far as she knew, and he didn't remember any of it. He had actually given up his own life for them. That was something she would never forget, even if he did.
"Hey kiddo. You look like crap." Eve laughed as she glanced up at him. Ezekiel smiled lightly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes like it usually did.
"Thanks Baird. That's what every guy wants to hear in the morning." He grumbled.
"Seriously though, you're kind of pale. Are you alright?" Cassandra asked, reaching up to feel his forehead. She frowned slightly when he pulled away from her touch.
"I think I'm catching a cold, but I'll be fine." He lied. He noticed her frown and smiled lightly. "Really Cassandra. I'm fine."
"Sure. Of course." She stumbled over her words. Ezekiel picked up a comic book and began flicking through the pages when he felt everyone's eyes on him. He glanced up and immediately six eyes fell back into their work. He groaned.
"Ezekiel…" Cassandra started.
"You guys are treating me differently. Why?" He cut her off. He looked at the others expectantly. They remained silent.
"It's just that…" Cassandra sighed, not knowing how to word it.
"We saw a completely different side of you, Ezekiel. You don't remember it, but we do." Jake told him bluntly.
"Then stop. I don't remember whatever the hell you're talking about. I'm still just Ezekiel." His voice was annoyed, the accent becoming prominent. He groaned and walked away, towards the reading room. Cassandra watched as he went, feeling a prick of pity. She knew how it felt to be treated differently over something uncontrollable. He was acting odd, though, almost as if he… Cassandra closed her eyes at the impossible thought. He was Ezekiel Jones. The world's worst liar. He couldn't pull of lying about not remembering. Besides, why would he hide it? If anything, being Ezekiel, he would gloat about it, right? She questioned herself. Cassandra began to walk towards the room when a voice called out to her.
"Cassandra, don't. He doesn't remember what we do. If he did, he would understand. Just let him cool down a bit." Eve told her, stopping her in her tracks.
"I just don't understand. He's not acting like himself." She sighed.
"Maybe it's just us. We think that he's acting weird because we think he should be. After everything he did for us, he should be acting a little off, but he's really not." Jake and Cassandra stared at Colonel Baird in confusion. "Well that's a first. I have never managed to confuse two geniuses at the same time." She explained her train of thought to them.
Meanwhile, Ezekiel slumped into one of the chairs that was in the reading room. He felt as odd as he was acting. He was emotionally numb. He wasn't as annoyed as he sounded. He wasn't scared, or depressed. He felt nothing. As he sat, he couldn't help his wandering mind from replaying the moments in the game. It was weird, he told them that he couldn't remember and it wasn't exactly untrue. He was missing some moments. For some of the loops, he couldn't get the images out of his mind. For others, he was missing certain occurrences, like who was the person to die, or how he had failed. He shook his head, trying to stop thinking about the horror he had survived. He thought of different things he could do to take his mind off of it. Reading? Nah. Stealing? Too tired. Playing video games? NO! He just wasn't interested in doing his usual thing. He was beginning to feel hopeless. What if he never got better? Was he not 'better?' What was wrong with him? The questions flooded his mind as he fell asleep.
"NO!" Cassandra jumped at the outburst. The two librarians and their guardian made quick eye contact before dropping what they were doing and rushing towards the reading room. What they saw was a truly painful sight. Ezekiel was curled in a tight ball, his body quivering, still asleep. He had tears streaming down his young face. Colonel Baird felt her heart break. She should have seen it in him. She had seen it amongst so many young soldiers, yet she hadn't seen it in her own young soldier. Ezekiel had all of the classic signs of PTSD. She was surprised to feel tears well in her own eyes, as she glanced back at Cassandra who was frozen in shock. Jake was the first to move. Suddenly Ezekiel flailed, whimpering loudly.
"It's all my fault. They're dead. It's my fault. Some master thief." Jake stiffened and paled. It was something he had said to the man during the last time loop. He was criticizing him. Jake reached out slowly, laying a hand on the man's shoulder. Ezekiel jumped so hard that he fell from the chair. He sat for a moment, breathing heavily, trying to calm himself.
"Hey. It's alright." Jake told him simply. Ezekiel sat frozen. Jake lifted his arm and got him to stand. He remained frozen, only doing what Jake forced him into doing. Led by Jake, they went into the main section of the Annex. Jake sat him down in chair while Eve got him a glass of water. Cassandra crouched in front of him.
"Ezekiel, honey, what's going on?" She asked, scared of what could possibly be wrong with their thief. He shook his head in response, his hands shaking badly. As she continued the onslaught of questions, he sunk farther and farther into his seat.
"...Or, he remembers." Colonel Baird cutting Cassandra off as she went down the list of things that could possibly be wrong with him. She turned her blue eyes on him. "You remember don't you." His lower lip began to tremble slightly as his eyes well with tears.
"Everything. Every time one of you…" He trailed off, he let out a wet sigh, breath shaky.
"Oh you poor thing." Cassandra assuaged him by pulling him into a tight hug. She was surprised by how hard he hugged her back.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Jake asked. When the boy nodded, they all pulled up a chair. He told them about all of the different loops, watching them die, hurting himself, how he hasn't slept because nightmares have broken that haven. Colonel Baird suddenly had an idea. She excused herself before she made a call to a nearby pharmacy. After she picked up the medication and then grabbed some thai takeout for dinner, she returned to the Annex where she found a crying Cassandra, a somewhat shaky Ezekiel, and a pale Jacob Stone. She served the food and they all ate in silence. Afterwards, while Jake and Cassandra cleaned up, Colonel Baird pulled the bottle of pills from her bag and handed them to Ezekiel.
"Prazosin. It'll help, I promise. Although I have to warn you, it will make you pretty dizzy, it might even make you pass out the first time you take it, if you want to take it that is, but that won't hurt you in the end. You could use the rest." She told him quietly. She couldn't stand to see the broken look in his eyes.
"Thank you. Really, thank you." He took the bottle into his hands and took one of the pills. Eve smiled and walked with him back to the Annex. For the rest of the evening the others reveled in the silence while Ezekiel slept in peace for the first time in days.
A/N: All of the facts and symptoms having to do with PTSD are true and researched thoroughly. Also, Prazosin is an actual prescribed drug that is used to help w/ PTSD related anxiety that affects sleep. It can also cause high blood pressure which makes people faint. I don't personally know much about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder but I have so much respect for those who do have it. Thank you all for taking the time to read this. I love you all more than Stumpy (May he rest in pieces) ~FGaT XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX