AN: Okay, here we go!

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"And don't tell me debt is not a big deal. Debt will cut off your legs and laugh at you as you grovel in the dirt begging for mercy. If you don't need it, don't get it. If you can't afford it, don't get it. If you're already in debt, get out quickly. If you think you'll never get out, you're right. You won't."

― Osayi Osar-Emokpae

BPOV

They say that every single thing a person does during their lifetime will affect not only their future but also the future of their future generations. They say that karma truly is a bitch when it doesn't just punish the guilty one but also the innocent by-standers that just happen to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. They also say that, if you have a debt, you might as well pay it before the interest swallows you whole.

They were right. For the most part, anyway.

But what do you do when you find yourself stripped of all the principles and beliefs that made you the person staring back at you in the mirror? What do you do when everything that had been going on in your life turns out to be nothing but a big lie? What do you do when the people who were supposed to have your back no matter what turn out to have knives hidden behind their backs? And what do you do when you get stabbed in the back by said people? Do you fight back? Do you try self-defense? Do you cry? Beg? Scream?

Is there a universal recipe just waiting for those who suddenly find out that their entire lives were nothing more than a farce?

I always thought of myself as a good citizen. Truth was, I actually was a good citizen. A role model, if you want to call it that way. You can also call it a cliché. I don't mind.

Bella Swan, daughter of Charles Swan – a cop – and Renee Swan – a kindergarten teacher –, who never drank alcohol, never smoked pot, never missed Sunday church and never, ever, got in trouble with the law. I was the perfect daughter: I cooked, cleaned and did the grocery shopping. I was the perfect student: I was a cheerleader, I volunteered, had a perfect GPA and even tutored kids who needed help with their grades. I was perfect. Such a cliché!

My dream was to follow my father's footsteps but with a little twist: I wanted to become a lawyer and fight the 'bad guys' just like Charles Swan, Chief of police in the small, sleepy town of Forks, Washington and my Godfather – and Charlie's best friend since high school – Jason Jenks. It was something I dreamed about ever since I could grasp the concept of good and bad and the idea of fighting the 'bad' was the only thing that truly appealed to me.

Ever since I was a small girl, people would tell me that I had my mother's looks and my father's brains. It was something that I took great pride in since Renee was a beautiful woman with shiny dark hair and icy blue eyes – and a figure to die for – while my dad was a smart man who came from a modest family but ended-up being able to afford a nice house, two cars and a vacation every year wherever my mother wanted. All from the petty salary that he had and a few well-placed investments placed over the years.

I never questioned anything.

I should have.

I should have known that the American dream wasn't that good. No one went from living in a house with only two bedrooms to one with six rooms with a modest income such as the one my dad had. Then there was mom who shopped so much I don't think anything was left of her paycheck after two hours of shopping. No offence, mom.

However, I didn't question anything, opting instead to keep my nose in my books and study hard. I was well aware that my parents made sacrifices for me and that I needed to pay them back, in one form or another. I wanted to make my parents proud and make them see that it was worth every moment of support that they offered, both financial and emotional.

The day I got in at University of Chicago was the happiest day of my life. Every moment spent on studying to get the highest grades, every second spent on teaching idiots that 2 plus 2 equals 4 just to have the perfect GPA – it all led to my goal: to get out in the world and make a name for myself, far away from the narrow-minded people that had surrounded me for 18 years.

I had so many dreams and hopes that an entire lifetime didn't seem enough to achieve everything I had in mind. I could already see myself doing my part to keep people safe, to make all the wrongs right again, to prove to my mother and father that their hopes and trust were put in the right person: me.

I finished my undergrad in two years, taking on a full load of courses and summer classes in between. Though they were initially thrilled, my parents started complaining that I only remembered them on holidays – which was sort of true. In my defense, taking on as many classes as I had meant that I had to make some sacrifices and have very clear priorities. I was never a fickle child: I knew what I wanted and I was always going to get what I wanted, no matter the sacrifices I would have to make.

And sacrifice I did.

I sacrificed my social life in high school in favor of grades and didn't think twice about it. There was only so much fun you could have in a small town where everyone was in everyone's business and that was not exactly my cup of tea. Nosy neighbors and gossiping women going through their middle-age crisis were all the example of 'how not to end up' that I ever needed to keep my eyes on the ball and my fingers crossed to get out as soon as possible. To spread my wings and fly far, far away.

Though I wish I could say things changed from that point on, college was no different.

I only went out on two parties during college: one at the beginning of my first year, on my birthday, and the second at the end of my first year, to celebrate my perfect grades. If it wouldn't have been for my roommate, Mary Alice Brandon, I wouldn't have gone to those two either. I just didn't see the appeal. I was not a sociable person. Quite the opposite, actually: I kept to myself and minded my business. The same could not be said about Alice, though. She was my total opposite: a social butterfly, always smiling and chatting, flirting and making new friends. The only two things that we had in common were our looks – we had the same black hair and the same icy blue eyes – and the passion with which we pursued our goals.

Alice was a southern girl who loved to shop, just like my mother. This common hobby became the foundation stone for their friendship: Renee found someone who acted her age – since, in her book, I was already pushing 30 and was way too boring to be around – and Alice found someone who could buy me all the clothes she thought would look good on me. As for me, I was stuck in the middle but couldn't complain about anything, really. I got nice clothes and got my mother off my back. Win-win!

I made a few other friends on campus but I was still shy. Add to that the obsession of getting the highest grades possible and you get one awkward girl to be around. My social life was sorely lacking, in spite of Alice's attempt to 'get me out in the world'. No matter how much I tried, parties full of drunken students just weren't my scene. I tried, even though I always came back to my dorm room a couple of hours later feeling like I didn't belong anywhere. I tried. And I always failed.

To say I never felt like a part of me was missing would be a lie. I longed to be surrounded with people that understood me and, most importantly, people that liked me for who I was and not because I was the perfect project partner. I took a small comfort knowing that Alice would be by my side no matter what, even though I didn't share her love for fashion. What I did share was her passion for drawing and she even joked that I should abandon my plans of becoming an attorney and apply for Design school. Not thinking twice about it, I shut down the idea with a smile on my face. If there was anything that I wanted to do more than anything, that was to become an attorney. Maybe even a prosecutor.

At the end of my first year, my parents decided to buy me a house as a reward for being such a good student. It was a nice two story brownstone, with more than enough room for one person, and I invited Alice to stay with me. Needless to say, if Alice wasn't my sister before the moving in, that was the last step towards making it official. We became closer than ever which turned out to be the truly best thing that ever happened to me considering the events which took place a year later.

I had it all planed out. I had a dream and I was going to make it come true. I had my entire life mapped out in front of me and everything was just a touch away…

Do you know the saying "It's too good to be true"? Well, let's say that I should have kept it in mind.

AN: Sooo... that's it! Next update: tomorrow.