Hi. I don't own any of the trademarked characters in fic. If I did, the various video games, movies, TV shows, and books they were in would be completely different. Also, any names or similarities to celebrities in this fic are entirely coincidental. If you're still reading this than you are not giving the below fic your full attention. Read it now.

Chapter 1, the non-aggression treaty.

"Dwarven vow number 78, if you're late for school one more goddamn time, I won't let ye' urinate on Forcystus's house on the way to school!" To Lloyd Irving, this was like saying that that he had been grounded, or worse: banned from stabbing dangerous animals through the eyes with his wooden swords.

Lloyd was getting ready to go out the door when he realized that he had forgotten to take his pajamas off. By the time he had ran upstairs to change; he was already going to be late for class.

"Oh well," Lloyd sighed to himself "looks like I'll have to wait till schools over before I can find some new and twisted way of pissing Forcystus off.

Joseph Forcystus, or "Lord" Forcystus to his few friends, was one of the typical assholes that went to Iselia Elementary. He was greatly disliked by a good eighty percent of the class, and always deemed everyone who wasn't a half elf "inferior". Lloyd and he had been mortal enemies since the day they met back in first grade. Ever since, Lloyd had gone out of his way to find some sort of new and humiliating way to prank Forcystus. Urinating on Forcystus's house on the way to school was just a normal routine to Lloyd; like eating breakfast, of brushing his teeth in the morning. Granted, Forcystus had his own reasons for hating Lloyd; some of Lloyd's pranks turned out disastrous. In 2nd grade, Lloyd caused Forcystus to lose an eye in science class, and three months ago, Lloyd was playing around with Genis's Kedama and accidentally turned Forcystus's arm into a cobra. It had to be amputated. One the bright side, he could have had in replaced with anything he wanted, but Forcystus, being the little prick he was, got it replaced with an oversized laser gun.

"Okay class, today we're going to have a pop quiz on spell casting." rang the voice of Professor sage. There was a large groan from the class. "I'm going to ask you to all cast a basic fireball spell on that punching bag in the corner of the room. Zelos, since we all know you're going to find a way to fuck this up, I'm going to ask you ahead of time to leave the room." She continued.

"But-" stammered one boy with long red hair sitting in the back of the class.

"No buts young man." Rain looked like she was in deep thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, Colette, could you be a dear and make sure that Zelos here doesn't do anything stupid, like put dynamite under the principle's chair again?"

"Yes professor" Coellet replied in her usual cheery manner.

"I don't want to stay with her!" Zelos practically screamed, "She's got COOOOOoooooooties".

"Zelos, we're in fifth grade now. We don't believe in the science of cooties anymore." Genis said, with a hint of disgust in his voice.

"My dad died from something Seles called 'too much Shnoo- Shnoo'," Zelos continued "Everyone know Shnoo-Shnoo means .Ummm…. Cooties!"

Genis probably would have embarrassed Zelos so badly at that point he would have to wear a mask to school, but was interrupted by the large double oak wood doors opening, and Lloyd striding in with a wide grin on his face.

"K." Professor Rain said simply. "Lloyd I hope you weren't pissing on Forcystus's house again."

"THAT WAS YOU? :O" Forcystus yelled. "MOM SAID THAT HOMLESS PEOPLE DID THAT IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!"

"She wasn't saying that last night." Lloyd said, grin still on his face, almost as if had been immobilized that way.

Forcystus was about to shoot Lloyd when Raine told the class to sit down and take the goddamn test. After everyone in the class except for Genis failed like miserable politicians who couldn't get laid on a Friday, Raine dismissed the class for Lunch.

"Hey Coellet! Want to sit with us?" Lloyd called out to Coellet who was busy moping up what appeared to be a sack of blood that she knocked over.

"Don't let the carrier of that horrible disease sit with us!" Zelos stammered with a hint of fear in his voice. "Quite being a dick Zelos." Genis said in a tone colder than Simon Cowell's soul. "That's okay Lloyd!" Coellet said a bit to quickly "I have uhh… things to do…" she said as she started to walk away from the cafeteria.

"HA HA! You got re-ject-t --" Genis couldn't finish the sentence because the northern wall of the cafeteria exploded in a flash of multicolored explosions that shook the whole school. After the smoke cleared, the mayor of Iselia came in riding a T-Rex and sporting a pirate hat.

"Lloyd Irving!" He bellowed in a voice that belonged to James Earl Jones.

"Ye-s-s-s Lord Vader?" Lloyde replied meekly.

"I am using the powers given to me by the townsfolk of Iselia when they voted for me, to make a non-aggression treaty with the self proclaimed handsome sexpot, Lord Forcystus. Hence forth you will no longer be permitted to aggravate him in anyway, anymore." He continued, before proceeding to take several breaths of air that were amplified enough for everyone in the cafeteria to wonder for just a moment why the mayor of their town was speaking in Darth Vader's voice, and ridding a dinosaur.

"Wait… so this is like a restraining order or some shit like that?" Lloyd asked, now with no trace of fear left in his voice.

"Yep. Pretty much." The mayor replied, now in his regular, pompous voice.

Before having his large lizard friend to return through the new air conditioning system they generously provided the school with.

The next four days were a living hell to Lloyd. Forcystus torment Lloyd all he possibly could in such a small time period. After Forcystus turned Genis's Grandmother into some kind of horrible cucumber monster, Lloyd burnt down Forcystus's house.

"Oh man Lloyd. You messed up bad this time." Genis said, still staring up at the large blaze.

"Still, it's pretty cool" Zelos simply said, a majority of his attention devoted to getting the whole fire on tape.

"As long as they don't see our faces, we won't be blamed." Lloyd said, still wearing his mask of Richard Nixon.

" LLOYD! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY HOUSE?" came a voice from behind them?

"Or Not."

END CHAPTER 1. Hoped you enjoyed it. This was my first fic. Next chapter up eventually. If you didn't get the futurrama joke, than you obviously haven't watched it. They play it on Adult swim all the time, so I would recommend that you see an episode or two.