Bonded

Intro: Reflections

Dear Diary,

Hi, it's me Rey. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to start this, but Leia said it would help me. That look I her eyes as we flew away from the Battle of Crait. I think she knew. Probably more than I'd ever wish to admit. Why couldn't he just come with me? Stupid, foolish Ben…

No, no I won't think about it. The Resistance needs me to be focused on defeating the First Order. He's a lost cause. Too far gone...

Lie. I know Ben is still in there. I think I should have listened to Luke. "This isn't going to go they way that you think,"

He was right, it didn't. But my vision of him was so clear. He joined us. He helped us. He stood beside me… We defeated the First Order together. I shouldn't have rushed it. This situation required patience and not my hot head. My actions during the Caretakers mating date should have taught me to wait. Diary I think my actions might have made it worse for Ben. What must he think of me? He must know that… I won't say it. I can't. verbalizing it will make it too real.

Diary I'm not sure what the force has planned for him all I know is that I should have listened to my own advice. Ben's choice still hasn't been made. I'll wait. It's the one thing I'm used to doing.

May the Force be with us,

Rey

Vader's Palace on Mustafar

Alone, finally. It feels so strange, this silence. I don't believe I have even truly experienced it until now, because of her. A sense of rage welled up within me. She was just like everyone else, a traitor. Did she think I wouldn't figure it out? I offered her the galaxy and she spat in my face. Why couldn't she see what I was trying to do?

All of this war and death… All those voices silenced in the Hosnian system. What did think was going to happen if I just up and left the First Order. I have no real power over any of it, yet. Damn Hux! It's only been a few weeks since I became the new supreme leader and I'm still trying to figure out how far his slimy reach goes around here. Snoke withheld a lot of information from me.

I stare out into the molten landscape that birthed my grandfather.

"If only my choice was that simple," I muttered to myself.

A part of me wished I could have just left with Rey and let the whole Galaxy destroy itself and kissed her as the embers burned around us.

Letting out a sigh, yet I feel no relief. What must she think of me? It had been almost a month since the last time I saw her close the door on me. The look in her eyes. It was the same that Luke had after he saw the darkness with me.

"He's a monster Leia," I heard the echo of my father's voice ring in my ears.

The words sting my soul.

"I am now father," I mutter under my breath. "I have to be."

Click

"General Hux is here to see you Supreme Leader,"

I lift my hand to open the door.

"Hux," I called out as I heard him enter my chambers. "Is it ready?"

I could sense Hux's distain as the door closed behind him. Whatever he was hiding I would soon find out. He was up to something. I just needed patience. All would be revealed in time. And his fall from 'grace' would be swift. This was my army and things were going to change once he was gone.

"Yes Ren," he hissed through his teeth.

"Yes Supreme Leader," I added with a smirk.

Hux gulped hard, "The new Supremacy is fully operational, Supreme Leader Ren."

"Thank you General," I added.

I waved for Hux to leave me. I left my back to him. I could show him no fear. No weakness for him to exploit against me. As I continue to stare off into the flames of Mustafar I heard her, Rey.

She called out my name, "Ben."

It was a whimper. Was she in pain? I whisper a pray under my breath to the Force.

"Please," I begged. "Is she alright? I just need to know…"

An image of her resting in bed peacefully appears before me just out of reach. I lift my hand to try and touch her.

Cough, couch.

"Am I dismissed?" Hux asked.

The image of Rey vanished. My heart ached, but at least I got to see her. That was the image I wished to have linger with me, not the hate filled ones from Crait.

"Leave me," I replied as I glanced over my shoulder.

I watched him bow low before turning and leaving me. For a moment our eyes meet. I'd have to be more careful. He could never know about the connection between be and Rey. The force only knows what he'd do just to get rid of me.