So I was like… trying to write a comedy (and at some point, crack-romance) fanfiction about Vocaloids, and it went strange places and became this, mostly due to the fact that Vocaloid isn't an actual universe to write something about.

As a note, Yohioloid is just called Yohio in this, even though that's the stage name of his voice provider… I just prefer it because it sounds more like a name. Also, Yuma is VY2 in case you didn't know that.

"I'm suing you," Rin began, dramatically opening up the door to Len's room.

"What? Why the heck would you do that?" he asked, looking at her from his computer.

"You can still sing as high as all of the girls, and people say it sounds good. That's not allowed."

"Rin. We're Vocaloids. There is no limit to how high we can sing. We don't have human voices."

"IT'S NOT THE POINT! You sing super high notes on a regular basis and people consider it normal! It's not like other guy Vocaloids who have deeper voices!"

"What? My voice was provided by a chick. I can't help it."

"I'm OFFENDED! I'm going to post it online, that from now on, you will officially sing in the range of a male like you should be!"

"Rin, I hope you realize that's kind of impossible. And you're making a huge deal out of something that can't really be solved."

"MRRRRRRRRSAJDHASKJL!" Rin growled before storming out of the room.

Len sighed and turned back around to his computer. He was about to resume doing whatever he was doing when suddenly, Kaito's face appeared on the screen.

"LEN! HELP!" he screamed right as he appeared. It was practically a jumpscare, so Len fell backwards in his chair.

He almost instantly jumped back up. "How the frick did you get on my computer screen?!" he yelled at Kaito.

"T-That doesn't matter! I need your help! Right now!"

"What do you need help with?! Talk already!" Len paused. "Oh. And if it has anything to do with a shortage of ice cream, I will find you and smack you with a calculus textbook."

"No! I swear, it's not something like that!" Kaito insisted. "Miku, she… she got kidnapped! By a gang!"

Len's expression dropped into complete disbelief. "A gang? You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm being dead serious, man! I have no idea why they kidnapped her, but they just smashed through the window and took the princess hostage! I mean… Miku. They left a note behind too!" Kaito held up the piece of paper with the note on it. Whoever wrote it had terrible handwriting. "If your want to save your precious Miku-chan, send Len–by himself mind you–to our lair in the warehouse right next to the CFM building!"

"I have no idea whether to think that sounds sketchy or just plain cheesy," Len pointed out. "And I didn't even know there was a warehouse right next to this building."

"Come on Len, please! Miku's fate depends on you!" Kaito pleaded.

"Why does it have to be me? We could send Meiko or something and she would beat the crap out of all of them. If this isn't some stupid prank. Nah, she would still beat them all up."

"MEIKO'S ON VACATION!"

"Then we can send Rin! I think she's in a bad mood right now."

Kaito looked back at the paper. "Oh wait. There's more writing that I didn't see," he said. "It says, by the way, you have to send Len because we've passcoded the entrance and the password is his darkest secret. If you don't send him, then we'll tell everyone what it is."

"Okay, that's just evil!" Len stated. "How did they even find out something like that?! They've gotta be making stuff up!"

"Come on Len, it doesn't matter if they're making stuff up! I know you can take them! Good luck!" Kaito said, and the screen turned back to what it was before.

Len groaned. "Dude! What the frick!" After that, he had this feeling that Kaito could be making things up as well. But Kaito did tend to act oddly on a regular basis, so maybe not. "… Whatever, I'll just get this over with."

Ten minutes later, he arrived at the warehouse next to the building.

"What the? It doesn't look passcoded and the door's wide open… Is this really it?" he spoke. Suddenly, two people grabbed his arms. "WHAT-" Len turned his head to see that the two people were Yohio and Yuma.

"Hey Len, you're coming with us," Yohio said.

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Len asked. They started dragging him into the warehouse. "HEY! ANSWER ME!"

The interior of the warehouse was dark. When they entered in far enough, the doors were closed the doors behind them, making it even darker. Then the windows opened, allowing light in. Why they were closed in the first place was a mystery.

In front of them was a large spinning chair. "I see you've arrived," a childish voice with a British accent said. The chair spun around, revealing Oliver. Even though they were outside, he still wasn't wearing shoes.

"Dude! What's going on here?" Len asked again.

"Ha ha ha," Oliver laughed with an evil tone. "I see you were foolish enough to believe what we said? You couldn't have possibly thought we knew anything about your dark secrets, right? You're more gullible than I thought."

"That… really doesn't answer my question."

Near them, someone emerged from the shadows, holding onto Miku, whose wrists were tied behind her. The person was Rei, also known as Len's 'shadow' version. He was probably the only one evil enough to have that job.

"Len! Help me!" Miku pleaded.

"Do you guys want me to come to my own conclusion?" Len asked. "I can take all you guys down no problem. Are you really asking for that?"

"Oh, Len, we're not asking for a fight," Oliver answered. "To put it simply, we'll let your precious Miku go, on one condition."

"Okay, one, why do you keep referring to her as 'precious' like that, and two, what's keeping me from not agreeing to any conditions. I can seriously just like… scream a really high note to make you all temporarily deaf and immobile, and run out with Miku."

"You'll hurt yourself as well, I hope you realize. This warehouse is also very echoey, and it will multiply the power, and as a result, nothing will be accomplished. You're being restrained, remember?"

"Tch. Whatever. What is this condition?"

Oliver smiled. "You have to join our gang."

Len blinked. "Are you serious? Couldn't you have just asked me like a normal person? I might have even said yes. You went this far for something as stupid as that?"

"I know you more than you think, Len," Oliver told him. "You spend so much time at your computer and being lazy, I know you would definitely say no to joining. So, I needed to make sure this really happens. If you refuse, well, you can't, because we're not letting you go."

"Then why did you have to bring Miku into this?!"

"What do you think? Because we're evil, and we want to make you feel worse. Now, what shall it be? Shall you join and Miku be set free, or shall you refuse and you will both be held captive?"

Len sighed. "Okay, Oliver, if this about that box of cheez-its I finished off, I'm really sorry about that-"

"THEY WERE MY CHEEZ-ITS!" Oliver paused. "Uh. I mean. What shall it be?"

"… I'm not playing by your rules," Len said with a huff. He kicked Yohio in the back of the knee, making him drop to the ground and let go of the arm he was restraining. The split second his grip loosened, Len punched Yuma in the stomach with it, his other arm getting free. Yohio realized what was happening, but before he could do anything, Len kicked him in the side. Both Yohio and Yuma were on the ground by then. "That's it? Seriously? Maybe I hit them harder than I thought."

Oliver chuckled. "You are just as capable as they said. Do you understand now why I want you on my side?"

Len raised an eyebrow. "They? What do you mean by they? And for the record, you still haven't told me what's going on and why you guys are calling yourselves a gang in the first place."

"Because we're gangsters," Rei said.

"Rei, it's my job to do the talking," Oliver told him.

"You probably don't have any better of a reason though."

"Yes, but I'm British and I'm sitting in an extremely out of place giant spinning chair so it will sound more official."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to mention you're the leader?"

"Oh, yeah, that too."

Len hemmed. While they were talking, he had walked up to Rei. "If you would kindly let go of her?" he said. "It would really suck if I had to take any more violent measures than I have already."

"You're kidding, right?" Rei scoffed.

Suddenly, Miku decided to take matters into her own hands and stomped on Rei's foot with her heeled shoe, causing him shout some things to be left not repeated.

Miku and Len started to run towards the exit, but two others were waiting there to stop them. They were Piko and Flower, except Len had no idea who the latter was.

"Oh come on, really?" Len muttered.

"Actually, I've changed my mind," Oliver began. "Miku can leave. But Len still has to stay. In fact, you two can use your special ability on him if you want."

"Aw, sweet!" Flower exclaimed. She (except Len thought she was a guy because of her design) and Piko held up their arms, palms up. "This might hurt a bit, Len. Sorry in advance."

"Who even are you?" Len asked.

"My identity is none of your concern."

In a mere second, Len was blasted into a far wall by some invisible force, presumably Piko and Flower's special ability that they apparently had. Miku gasped dramatically.

"LEN! NUU!" she yelled. Flower grabbed her arm and pushed her out of the building. When the door was closed, it locked automatically, despite looking incredibly normal.

"Ugh… that was so uncalled for…" Len mumbled, lying against the wall he slammed into. "You guys seriously could have just asked me normally…"

"Were you even paying attention? We did," Oliver told him. "And then you were like, I'm not playing by your rules, and you started beating people up. I had to even this out a bit."

"Of course I was paying attention. You didn't ask me normally. You basically said, join our gang or you and Miku will be prisoners. It was very evil, so I took more extreme measures."

"Hey-" Oliver started, looking over at Yohio and Yuma, who were still lying on the ground. "What the heck are you two doing over there? How are you still down from that?"

"We're pretending to be unconscious so we don't have to fight anymore in case we're supposed to," Yohio said. Yuma face palmed.

"Fine. Whatever. My helpful friends, take Len here to the DUNGEON."

"Yes mastah," Piko said. He and Flower walked over to Len and picked him up: Piko holding his arms, and Flower holding his legs.

"Once I'm through with you, Len, you'll wanna join my gang so badly that…" Oliver paused. "Well, you'll join it. Heheheheheh…" And with that, Len slipped into unconsciousness.

When he woke up, he was somewhere he did not recognize. It looked like a cozy-ified unfinished basement, blankets, carpets and giant bean bag chairs being placed everywhere. He was on an old-looking couch, on the wall across from him was a TV on a short bookshelf. It wasn't even HD.

"I see you're awake, Len." Len turned his head to see Oliver spin around towards him dramatically, seated in the exact same giant spinning chair he had in the warehouse. "Welcome to my lair."

Len raised an eyebrow. "… You mean your basement?"

"Be quiet. Now, Len, since you've refused to join the gang, I've taken you captive. You can still change your mind before I have to go into the stages of convincing you to join."

Len looked puzzled. "I… never actually refused? I mean… I beat some people up but I never literally said no I'm not joining or anything like that."

"… Frick." Oliver paused for a few moment. "… HEY, wanna play Mario Kart?"

"Sure, whatever."

TWO HOURS LATER…

"… Hey, what was I doing over here again?" Len asked.

"I don't really remember," Oliver answered. "Wait. Something about convincing you to join my gang? Yeah, that was it. Sorry about having you blasted into the wall like that. I was trying to seem all evil and stuff."

"Nah, it's cool. I'll join, as long as it doesn't overly interfere with my regular life."

"Isn't your regular life incredibly monotone?"

"Okay, let me rephrase that. As long as I'm still allowed to do pretty much whatever I want with my normal days."

"All right, sure."

"By the way, who was that guy with the shorts and the black highlight? I don't think I've ever met him before."

"Oh, uh…" Oliver trailed off. "That's Flower. And that 'guy' is actually a girl. Don't worry, we were all confused too after her design changed, that you probably never saw to begin with."

"… I see…"

"So like, wanna get pizza or something?"

"Uh, all right."

TO BE CONTINUED…