Title: If You Return to Me

Series: Stargate SG-1

Rating: T

Pairing: Sam/Jack

Summary: If he returned to her, she wouldn't hesitate to tell him what she feels for him. Little blips of what Sam was thinking each time she rescued her Jack.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of anything related to Stargate. So, this is a work of fiction and I ain't making jack shit out of this. (haha, pun not intended)

'A Hundred Days'

I sigh for the third time within the span of 20 minutes. I am exhausted, but need to keep going and keep building this thing. I can't believe I'm breaking the laws of physics. And why would I be pushing myself this hard? It's simple. I do it for Jack. It's funny; I can call him Jack in my head but out loud 'sir' or 'colonel' slips out automatically. All this rank and protocol and I'm left feeling empty at the end of the day. I know it's at this very point that I realize that 'it' goes deeper than either of us knew back in Antarctica. Sure, we connected then, but from that point on the touches and the glances became more frequent and the effects longer. Each time that tiny little voice inside my head screamed about the ethics of the air force, and blah blah blah. Finally, that little voice shut up. I've always known that Jack O'Neill would bend the rules to his liking. We were both on the road to actually starting something when this mission went horribly wrong.

The planet was gorgeous, the people were simple farmers. Everything was going accordingly until the meteor storm hit. At first, everyone agreed that it would just pass. The meteors kept advancing closer and closer until one hit the ground and exploded. It was decided then that we should try to evacuate everyone. The team had gotten a good number of people through the gate, except for those who refused to leave. Jack, being Jack, had to go back to look for Laira's son. He would always play the hero. This time, being the hero cost him. The gate was hit by a meteor right after Daniel, Teal'c, and I had gotten through. That is how I ended up doing what I'm doing now: rewriting the rules of physics. I'm breaking every known principle known to man to bring him home. I love him that dearly. Janet has been in my lab trying to get me to eat and rest. I have come to thrive on coffee and barely any sleep. It seems like all of this work is producing no progress. I let out a scream of frustration and throw my mug across the room and watch as it shatters in to a million pieces. That is how I feel. I feel like I've shattered and can't put myself back together.

I have to keep going. It was long and hard work, but finally, after one hundred days, I've done it. I've built the particle accelerator that will hopefully bring my Jack back home. I miss him so dearly. If he only returned to me, then I would tell him what he means to me. I would build up the courage to profess my love. Hah, that sounds so pathetically romantic. But I'd do it. I'd do anything for my Jack.

'Abyss'

I'm frozen to the spot when I hear the news from Dad. Jack has been taken prisoner by Ba'al. Oh god, I feel so guilty! I made him take that symbiote and now that damned Tok'ra used Jack's sense of honor against him! I can't believe what Kor'el has done. The one side of me argues to kill that coward Tok'ra if and when he's found. The other part of me argues that Kor'el did what did in the name of love. He loved that slave of Ba'al so much he had to go back for her. Still, that's no excuse for what Jack is going through now. I feel tears start to run down my face and I weep for Jack. I pray that he won't die at the hands of one of the most sadistic system lords. Teal'c and I requested to lead a rescue mission, but were denied. Dad said that the fortress Ba'al is in is too heavily guarded. Our teams will never be able to get passed the sheer amount of jaffa and weaponry that is there. I bury my head in my hands and cry. My Jack, my lover is out there and I am helpless to do anything. It feels like those hundred days all over again.

Jack and I had made the decision after I had rescued him from the other planet to pursue a relationship. The regulations be damned. Daniel and Teal'c knew. Then again, they have always known that something was between Jack and I. They're absolutely happy for the both of us. That's why right now, I'm getting the utmost support from Teal'c. Teal'c says that Daniel would do the same if he were here with us at this moment Dad was mad at first when he found out, but he quickly turned joyful. If someone could make his little girl happy, then who was he to stand in the way. I could've sworn that I saw him and General Hammond exchange money that one day. Dad is doing all he can on the Tok'ra side to see that Jack gets rescued. I hate sitting here and waiting. Little did I know what Jack was going through over there, but I wish I could be with him right now. I don't care if I was tortured along with him; just as long as I was there. If...no, when we get him home, we are getting married. I am never letting him out of my sight again. I love him with all that I am; he is my life.

There is still that tiny little spout of doubt in the back of my mind. I can't erase it. It's that tiny little piece of doubt that keeps me in tears. I need him home. I need my Jack. I don't care what we have to do, I need to get him back. I need him back so I can express what he means to me. I'll hold on to him and never let him go. I continue to cry silently as I mourn the fact that Jack may never come home.

'Paradise Lost'

I am going to kill Maybourne! He is just a deceiving, conniving little bastard and he's entrapped Jack in one of his schemes again! Sure, let's go find a cache of Ancient weaponry he says. Okay General Hammond says. Where does it lead us?! We are stuck on this planet trying to figure out where the hell those two disappeared to! Right now, I'm taking all my anger and frustration out on these poor scientists. I know they have nothing to do with the disappearance of Jack and Maybourne, but I know they can fix it! They have to!! This is the third time that Jack has disappeared on me! God, nothing can keep that man from getting in to trouble. If only he would listen to his wife, but no...he's stubborn like that. Jack and I had gotten married after he returned from being captured by Ba'al. I told him he was not getting off the hook that easily. He can't get rid of me. It was a quiet, civil ceremony with only close friends attending. General Hammond had been strangely accepting of Jack and I. He said that he was young once and he understood what it was like to love someone that seemed out of your grasp. Wow, who knew that Hammond fell in love with one of his subordinates?

It seems hopeless at this point! We don't even know where those two could have vanished to. We have searched every where on the planet. I was thinking maybe it was a transportation device to another planet. So, we've searched every planet near that one. We've turned up nothing. I feel like a failure. I can't bring him home this time, I have no idea where to look. I will not cry this time. I have to be strong for the rest of my team. Samantha O'Neill does not break down. Jack would want me to be strong. I will uphold his wishes...where ever he may be. I try so hard to hold on, but a solitary tear rolls down my cheek. I hastily wipe it away before anyone sees.

I just hope that we can get Jack back sooner than the last time. He was gone too long with Ba'al. Who knows what condition he's in now. He needs to return to me. This time, I have news that'll change the rest of our lives. He needs to return home to me, and our unborn child. I love you, Jack. I need you to return to me.