A/N - Just something that my odd mind kind of thought up all of a sudden. I
don't know if this will be a one-shot fic or if I will continue later.
Please read and review! It's the response to a Deranged PsychoFreak
challenge. If you want a challenge, e-mail her at
kornsaysimcool14@yahoo.com.
The lines are still there and they always will be. They are all over my arms, chest and stomach. Some of them are in swirled patterns, so beautiful and intricate, each slash crossing another, making it a mesmerizing site to behold. Others, the ones on my legs, are words. I wrote your name, my love, I wrote it over and over in my skin, in my blood. It was the only way I could get you to know that I loved you so much that to live without was to live without oxygen.
But when I showed you the scars, when I showed you my blood you stared at me. I guess the beautiful site captured you too. You asked me why I did it and when I said I did it for you, you turned and ran from me. I know that you love me as much as I love you, you just can't seem to admit it. I take my knife and push it into the old scars, the ones that had faded. I need to see my blood, the red, for it is your favorite color. I wrote your name on my skin in your favorite color. I burned words of love onto my hand with a match, but you simply stared at me as if I was mad. But that was just a mask you were wearing, because deep inside I know you love me. You are just too afraid to let it show, because you don't want me to stop my artwork.
The few weeks we had together will never be enough. I put a cut on each leg for every day that I haven't seen you. So far it has been a whole 2 months and I am almost going crazy with my love for you. You were so terrified that day I told you I loved you. You asked me if what I said was true and of course I said yes, for you amaze me in every way. You said you needed to think about this and you ran from me. I walked into the bathroom after that and felt so much love for you that I cut each of my fingers and let the blood pour into an empty perfume bottle that I had.
You looked at me with such horror when I gave you that bottle of blood, my blood that I bled for you, the blood that showed my love. Your oldest brother screamed at me to get out of your house, so I did. Why can't anyone understand my love?
Then you moved and it was all I could do to keep from crying. I waited on the front steps of my porch for you, for I expected you to come and say goodbye, but you never came. I understand though. You were scared because you loved me so much that it hurt you and made you angry. That's why you slapped me that one day. You told me to get the hell away but I could see right through you. I know you love me, you must! You slapped me again and I felt my lip bleeding so I spit blood at you. You screamed at me and asked me why I did it and I explained that I wanted to give you a gift. You must have been thankful, because you slapped me again and I felt even more blood.
I know you must love me, otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did. That day was wonderful. You took me to the woods and pushed me down into the dirt. You ripped off my shirt and had to kiss me to keep me from screaming out in pleasure and pain. Did you think I was mad at you, no, never. My heart throbbed with your thrusts and I knew that you loved me. I knew that even though you slapped me and stabbed me with a stick that it was all just for fun. You spat at me afterwards and left me there, zipping up your pants. Every time I see a zipper I think of you.
I have sat on this porch, waiting for you for the last three days. I know that our love will once again be whole. I know you will come back to me. You told me you hated me, but I know that you must feel something for me. So now I wait here, and I will always wait for you as I cut your name deep into my body. Ponyboy, such a beautiful name, and I have written it in my skin millions of times. For that is the power of my love, a love that you can't run away from.
The lines are still there and they always will be. They are all over my arms, chest and stomach. Some of them are in swirled patterns, so beautiful and intricate, each slash crossing another, making it a mesmerizing site to behold. Others, the ones on my legs, are words. I wrote your name, my love, I wrote it over and over in my skin, in my blood. It was the only way I could get you to know that I loved you so much that to live without was to live without oxygen.
But when I showed you the scars, when I showed you my blood you stared at me. I guess the beautiful site captured you too. You asked me why I did it and when I said I did it for you, you turned and ran from me. I know that you love me as much as I love you, you just can't seem to admit it. I take my knife and push it into the old scars, the ones that had faded. I need to see my blood, the red, for it is your favorite color. I wrote your name on my skin in your favorite color. I burned words of love onto my hand with a match, but you simply stared at me as if I was mad. But that was just a mask you were wearing, because deep inside I know you love me. You are just too afraid to let it show, because you don't want me to stop my artwork.
The few weeks we had together will never be enough. I put a cut on each leg for every day that I haven't seen you. So far it has been a whole 2 months and I am almost going crazy with my love for you. You were so terrified that day I told you I loved you. You asked me if what I said was true and of course I said yes, for you amaze me in every way. You said you needed to think about this and you ran from me. I walked into the bathroom after that and felt so much love for you that I cut each of my fingers and let the blood pour into an empty perfume bottle that I had.
You looked at me with such horror when I gave you that bottle of blood, my blood that I bled for you, the blood that showed my love. Your oldest brother screamed at me to get out of your house, so I did. Why can't anyone understand my love?
Then you moved and it was all I could do to keep from crying. I waited on the front steps of my porch for you, for I expected you to come and say goodbye, but you never came. I understand though. You were scared because you loved me so much that it hurt you and made you angry. That's why you slapped me that one day. You told me to get the hell away but I could see right through you. I know you love me, you must! You slapped me again and I felt my lip bleeding so I spit blood at you. You screamed at me and asked me why I did it and I explained that I wanted to give you a gift. You must have been thankful, because you slapped me again and I felt even more blood.
I know you must love me, otherwise you wouldn't have done what you did. That day was wonderful. You took me to the woods and pushed me down into the dirt. You ripped off my shirt and had to kiss me to keep me from screaming out in pleasure and pain. Did you think I was mad at you, no, never. My heart throbbed with your thrusts and I knew that you loved me. I knew that even though you slapped me and stabbed me with a stick that it was all just for fun. You spat at me afterwards and left me there, zipping up your pants. Every time I see a zipper I think of you.
I have sat on this porch, waiting for you for the last three days. I know that our love will once again be whole. I know you will come back to me. You told me you hated me, but I know that you must feel something for me. So now I wait here, and I will always wait for you as I cut your name deep into my body. Ponyboy, such a beautiful name, and I have written it in my skin millions of times. For that is the power of my love, a love that you can't run away from.