A/N: So...I got the idea of Tsuzuki being Ruka's biological child and the angst piled on top of it. In this time period, girls had kids as young as 12 or even younger, according to some sources. My headcanon for their economic status changes with each of these prompts, but Ruka lived comfortably before her parents died one after the other, leaving her in poverty.

If you like what you read, you can also support me through donating to my kofi! The link to my ko-fi is through my tumblr: Lucicelo.

-Lucicelo

Chapter 1 - Ruka

Rinsing out her mouth with water, Ruka collapsed onto her knees. Grateful for the soft grass cushioning her fall, she attempted to ignore the smell of her upchucked breakfast. Breathing ragged, stomach churning, she gripped her arms in a vain attempt to stop her tears. Every single morning, she released the contents of her stomach without fail. She tried hiding it from her parents, but she thought her mother noticed something odd about her recent behavior. Her mother's keen eye glanced back at her when she rejected her grilled mackerel or favorited dinner.

Try as she might, Ruka's fears of her own health spiraled into the worst scenarios. As someone who kept sickness at bay, this stomach virus reappeared in different intervals. She woke up to release the contents of her stomach, other times, it happened in the afternoon. Half the time, the smell of her favorite dishes stopped her in her tracks and caused an immense feeling of nausea.

Sighing, she wrecked her brain in trying to figure out her condition. Her old friend popped into her head. She went through the same thing and then she began eating everything in her path. As she recalled her friend's symptoms, the only answer that made sense was pregnancy.

Frozen in place, it dawned on her. She looked down at her stomach, a fainting wave caused her to clench her arms around her body to anchor herself.

A baby.

"No. No."

Touching her belly, dread overfilled her core, causing her trembling to rise. Sure, she desired a baby, but far into the future. Her own boyfriend rejected the idea of wanting a child. In fact, he stopped her when she spoke about her desire for a family of her own. The man wanted nothing to cut into their time together. A child impended their already limited time together.

Tears prickled her eyes, she imagined the disappointed faces of her parents. Both of them looked forward to see her married to a proper man and produce a child in that union. They wished the best for her out of love. For them to see the physical truth of her tryst with a man outside of marriage would devastate them.

She had to visit the neighborhood herbalist to get her answer. Doctors were too expensive.

Leaving the herbalist, who accepted a payment of fresh herbs in exchange, due to her lack of funds, Ruka masked her crestfallen face through a forced smile. The herbalist handed her a tea which would soothe her stomach enough for her to digest her meals. According to the older woman, her body's reaction to the foreign entity in her belly was a normal one.

She curled her hands onto her belly, words of confirmation echoed in her mind on repeat. The answer to her bout of sickness, revealed in one visit. A woman's diagnosis through feeling her stomach and inspecting her. The older woman congratulated her with a sincere smile, telling her to eat more vegetables and take walks to stay active. With her mind wandering, Ruka nodded her head at he right moments to keep the herbalist from suspecting her unhappiness.

Almost tripping over her feet on her path home, she placed a protective hand on her stomach. The news processed when she touched her belly. She was carrying a child inside of her. A baby.

Hers and her lovers.

She smiled at the image of herself and her lover combining in their child. Despite the origins, she imagined their families would congratulate them over the newest addition to both families. Babies brought light and love, and she already felt such deep love for this child inside of her.

For certain, her lover would love the baby too.

Upon meeting her beloved, he pulled her into a kiss. His hands wandered around her body, giving her no room to speak her piece. Almost losing herself in the familiar wave of pleasure, her mind blanked from her initial message. Thoughts of the baby disappeared as she clenched onto the back of his yukata. He pinned her against a tree and grinded himself onto her.

Releasing her from their kiss, he peppered kisses down her neck while he untied her obi. This gave him the opportunity to push down her kimono, exposing her shoulder. The usual welcoming passion, soured in Ruka's mind as nausea crept up her throat. In the oddest moments, her body emptied itself out, which broke her out her lust fogged mind.

In a wave of panic, as to not vomit on him, she screamed out. "I'm pregnant."

He paused in kissing her neck, "Come again?"

Ruka felt small in the arms of her beloved, but she repeated herself. Keeping their child a secret wasn't an option, not when he deserved to know about her condition. "I'm pregnant."

Almost as if she was ridden with disease, he pushed himself away from her. "Don't lie to me."

Ruka shook her head. "N-No. I am. I went to an herbalist and she confirmed it."

"Herbalists confirm wrong diagnosis all the time. This is not true."

"B-But, I've been feeling sick." Ruka cried out to him. "I don't get stomach viruses that often and I keep getting sick in the morning. No one stays sick for almost a month!"

He went dead silent. His usual loving eyes turned cold when he rested them on her still flat stomach. A chill ran up Ruka's spine from the intensity and she laid a protective hand on her stomach.

He rejected their child.

Ruka's stomach plummeted down through the ground when her beloved informed her. "Drink a mixture of herbs and get rid of it. I'll provide the mixture and it'll go away. You might feel cramps, but no one will assume anything other than monthly bleeding. It's early enough to dispose of it."

"W-What?" Placing her hands on her stomach, tears prickled the corners of her eyes. "B-But,"

He put his hand up, silencing her before she said anything else. "I'm not abandoning my wife for a mere fancy and a bastard. My family would disown me from the mention of a bastard."

Ruka gasped, covering her mouth in mortification. Her knees buckled, she fell onto the grass, her world shattered around her. The illusions she thought of when thinking of this man, shrouded in darkness.

"Oh? Did you think I loved you?" He sneered. "Out of all the girls I tricked, you were the easiest one. So naïve. My own wife doesn't care about my dalliances. She requires no bastards as a result from them, to keep our son the main heir. Other than that, she turns a blind eye."

Ruka's heart broke with each word he spoke. Throughout those months together, he sweet talked her with promises of marriage and an everlasting love. He managed to convince her to sleep with him not too long ago. As the sun set in the horizon, he took her innocence underneath the moon and the stars.

He lied to her.

Who many other girls had he tricked?

How many other children arrived to the world without a father?

He turned away from Ruka as he advised her. "Keep quiet about ever having conceived a child and you might be able to get married in the future. If you know what's good for you, get rid of it through the herbs I'll hand you the next time we meet."

She continued on sobbing on the grass. He walked away from her, leaving her heart in pieces.

Ruka accepted the herbs in a dejected form. Her tired eyes didn't hide the multiple nights she cried over his coldness, but she woke up weightless from releasing her emotions. Try as she might, she couldn't prevent herself from crying herself to sleep.

Her hand trembled as she curled her fingers around the contents that would kill the baby. She couldn't bring herself to even think about brewing this concoction and swallowing it down her throat. Holding the bag far away from her body, she curled an arm around her body, attempting to comfort herself.

Ignoring the tense atmosphere, he made an attempt to kiss her. He even began smiling when he uttered the sweet nothings that the old Ruka would have swooned over. She turned her head to the side, furious at his blatant disregard for the life of her child. Her body mattered more to him than her child. He deserved no additional seconds of her time. The naïve girl who loved this man, died when he demanded her child's death.

She turned away from him and walked away. He screamed her name, anger evident in his tone, wanting her to return to him. She ignored him. Hugging her own body, she went through a different path to lose him. A forest covered area with multiple trails that lead in different directions. She gritted her teeth. He wouldn't dare follow her.

She felt stronger.

Any nausea dissipated, along with the initial nervousness of meeting him again.

Keeping a fast walking pace, she ignored the stinging in her chest. Once her limit hit, she slowed down and wandered throughout the familiar woods. Peeking down at the bag, she gulped at the contents inside of this simple little bag. The contents felt heavy in her hand.

"I'm sorry, baby." Ruka addressed her unborn child with tears in her eyes. "I'm not getting rid of you. I'll get rid of the bag...just wait..I have to find.." She burst through a row of bushes and saw a river at the distance. "Almost there."

Careful in not tripping over any wayward roots, she stepped near the riverside. Throwing the bag in the river, the water washed away the contents downstream.

Her feelings washed away along with it.

The moment her father, Daichi Tsuzuki, found out about her baby, he slammed his hands onto the table. "What's his name?"

The once serene atmosphere dampened, bringing a thick tension which brought nausea to occur again in Ruka's belly. Ruka tried controlling the urge to vomit the small amount of dinner she consumed. She never meant to disappoint her parents through conceiving a child out of wedlock. The fact she hid her lover from them nicked at their trust in her.

Breaking out of her shock at her husband's visual anger, Kasumi tried lessening the tension. "Dearest, please-"

Ignoring her mother, her father snapped his furious gaze onto her. She had never seen her kind hearted father so furious in her life. "What's his name?"

Tears trickled down her cheeks, she shook her head, trying not to utter a word.

"Ruka! Answer me!" Daichi reached over the table, gripping Ruka's shoulders, demanding in desperation. "Who and where is the father of this child?!"

Ruka cried out. "I won't tell you!"

Kasumi gripped Daichi's arm. "Control yourself! You're stressing her out. It's no good to her...child."

Daichi let out a harsh breath. "Ruka, does he know about the child?" Ruka nodded her head. "Will he take responsibility and marry you?" Ruka flinched, her shaky movement of her head made Daichi's blood boil. "And why not?"

Ruka hunched her trembling shoulders. "Dad, he's married. He lied to me and called me...a...fancy! He wanted me to get rid of my child so he wouldn't have evidence of his affair."

Kasumi's grip slacked, giving her husband the chance to slump down onto the floor. She uttered out. "Oh Ruka...what have you done? We always warned you about pretty words...most young men are not thinking of marriage! You should have known better! He didn't even come to see us and present himself!"

Ruka curled her arms around her body, she exclaimed. "I don't need a lecture! I know I was stupid enough to believe him. B-But, I want to keep this child. Mom, dad...please. It's not the baby's fault."

Gulping, Kasumi nodded her head. "We understand, but Ruka, you can never get married. No man wants another man's child under his roof."

Ruka breathed her nose. "I'm never getting married. He ruined the idea for me."

Kasumi placed a hand on her husband's tense back, rubbing a circle of comfort. "Then...we shall visit an herbalist to prescribe medicine to keep your strength up. Pregnancy is no joke."

"I already visited one. She gave me a tea to control my morning sickness."

"O-Oh."

Daichi raised his head, staring at Ruka through disappointed eyes. He didn't know what else to tell his daughter. Waiting a moment to collect himself, he got up from the floor and left the room.

Kasumi maneuvered over to Ruka's side of the low rise table, offering her kind words. "Your father will come around. He's just in shock."

Ruka shook her head. "He thinks of me as a harlot. I didn't even marry the man before I..."

Kasumi licked her red stained lips. "Ruka, you're still young, you were bound to make mistakes." She ran her fingers through Ruka's hair and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Trust me, your father will support you throughout these months. If the father of this child won't take responsibility, then we will take his place."

A week passed before her father spoke to her. He stopped her before she left for school, offering her advice and a tight hug which made her break down on the spot. She cursed herself for having thought that he would kick her out of the house. Daichi Tsuzuki pitied the girls who wandered around town, alone and without support from their families. Many of these young mothers ended up turning to prostitution if the father didn't marry them and claim their child.

Her father began building toys and a crib for his grandchild. Eager in making use of his hands in personal projects, he made sure that everything came out perfect for the newest Tsuzuki. He even began suggesting different names that rhymed well with Tsuzuki. Ruka picked out the best two out of the lot: Aiko and Asato. Her mother smiled in approval, finding either name acceptable.

Ruka went through her classes, keeping her bundle a secret. Her friends questioned her sudden weight gain, which she waved off as overindulging in sweets. She did enjoy a good pastry whenever walking home from school. They believed her. No follow up questions asked.

One morning during breakfast, Ruka announced to her parents. "I'm dropping out of school."

Daichi laid his chopsticks on the table before turning toward his daughter. "Ruka, we have the funds to keep sending you to school. My business is picking up, there is no need to worry about finances."

Ruka placed her hands on her belly. "I might be showing soon."

Daichi tried reasoning with her. "Ruka, many of your classmates kept going to school throughout their pregnancy. Granted, they dropped out afterwards, but it's not uncommon. You can finish your education and go back later."

At the image of walking into school with a large belly, Ruka grimaced. "All of them are married. I'll get hounded with questions about my child's father. What am I going to say? That I stupidly got involved with a man who lied to me about not being married? How he abandoned me and told me to kill my baby to save face? No. I won't suffer the humilation."

Kasumi laid her hands on her lap. "Ruka's right. She can't go back once the child grows big enough. She may claim that she grew fat from overeating, but that can only work for so long. We can't keep this a secret for long."

Ruka rubbed her stomach, her eyes set on her miso soup. "I thought about a solution. It's taken me a long time to come to terms with it, but it's our chance to hide him from the baby's real father."

Kasumi laid her chopsticks on the table. "A solution?"

Ruka proclaimed. "You claim my child as yours."

Kasumi covered her mouth. "Ruka..."

Ruka worried her lower lip. "You two never had another child after me, not for lack of trying. I know how much you wanted another baby, mom. This is your chance. If you claim this baby, he or she won't be a bastard, but a legitimate child born in wedlock." She played with her fingers and kept her tears at bay. "Just thinking about this child being referred to as a bastard makes me so furious."

Daichi clutched onto Kasumi's trembling hand. "Are you sure? Ruka, this is a big decision to make and you can't go back from it."

Ruka nodded her head. "I'll try to stay in school until I'm unable to go anymore. It'll be odd if I quit school right now. I might fake a trip to our family up North to make it believable." She added in." Also, we will be able to hide this baby away from the real father. Who knows if he will search for me to see if I went through with getting rid of this child. I doubt it, but we can't take the risk."

Daichi breathed through his nose to control his initial outburst about that man. "Yes...on the issue of the real father. You still haven't told us his name."

"And I won't ever reveal it." Ruka stayed firm in her decision. "He is not a factor anymore. The man is married and will never claim us. I have come to terms with my naïve mindset when it came to him."

"Yes, I want to raise him," Kasumi cut into their conversation before it soured. She dabbed her wet eyes and sent Ruka a grateful smile. "We will raise him to the best of our abilities. Isn't that right, Daichi?"

"Yes." Daichi faltered at the sight of Ruka's somber face. "Ruka, you will still have immense influence in your child's life. The baby might be ours outside of this house, but this child came from you."

Ruka rubbed her belly. "I know, dad. It's just...we're going to lie for the rest of he or she's life. You raised me to show integrity and honesty."

She grimaced at remembering her own dishonesty in keeping her ex-lover a secret from her parents. The one time she lied and her heart broke into pieces, shattering her rose colored vision of the world. Yet, the end result would bring life and love to their family. Her parents always wanted another child to raise.

Daichi coughed into his hand. "We still have honesty and integrity. No one has any business to inquire about our family problems. This truth will be the one thing we all take to the grave. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

The pain of childbirth traumatized Ruka beyond words.

At certain moments, she wished for death, anything to escape the body numbing pain of delivering her child. She wondered how women managed to not lose their minds during the process. There were women who birthed multiples, just one birth scarred her from doing it again.

Her mom remained diligent at her side, holding her hand throughout each sharp pain and kept her comfortable enough. When it came time to push, her father tried entering the room, but the midwife pushed him out before he got in her way. In her delirious pain, Ruka couldn't voice her wish to have her father at her side. As she held her mother's hand, her nails digging into their flesh, they both prayed under their breaths.

Despite the circumstances, the Tsuzuki family loved this child. They wished for this child to live and thrive without any issues. Ruka hoped she managed to care for herself enough to bring a healthy baby into the world.

At the last push, the baby came into the world. Black spots flickered Ruka's vision as dizziness overcame her. She passed out from tiredness, slumping against her mother's arms.

The herbalist exclaimed in delight. "A boy!"

Kasumi held Ruka tight, careful in keeping her arms around her shoulders. "Ruka...he's beautiful." Looking down, she noticed that Ruka passed out from the overwhelming pain. "Poor thing, she's unconscious."

The herbalist carried the squalling child over to the tub of water and washed him. "A nice set of lungs! All fingers and toes! He looks healthy and big!"

"Oh, thank goodness." Kasumi said as she settled Ruka down onto the futon.

Daichi peeked through the threshold, eyes widening at the sight of blood on the sheets and the floor. He shook his head, snapping himself out of the squeamishness of seeing the end result of birth. Stepping inside, he watched the herbalist wrap the child in a blanket before she got up on her feet.

Turning to him, she motioned to the whimpering baby. "Do you wish to hold him?"

"Y-Yes." Encasing the child in his arms, tears trickled down Daichi's cheeks. "He's ours."

The herbalist left to prepare a tea for Ruka to drink and to give the family privacy.

Kasumi agreed. "Ours." She pressed a kiss against Ruka's forehead, her eyes hardened at the thought of the man who hurt their daughter. "That despicable man won't have a son to carry on his name. This child is Asato Tsuzuki."

"Of course!" Daichi nodded his head. "Asato is a Tsuzuki! Through and through. Our first son!" When Asato gripped his finger, he beamed. "Look! He's already has a strong grip! He gets it from me."

"Hmm?" Ruka rustled awake from her unconscious state, still weak from her ordeal, she opened her eyes. Looking to her left, she saw her mother sitting next to her futon, sewing a small yukata for the baby. In front of her, her father held a bundle in his arms rocking him with experienced movements. "A-Asato? Aiko?"

Daichi turned, smiling in fondness as he walked toward her. "He's slept well through your nap."

Tears trickled down her cheeks, she birthed a son. Asato.

"No problems?" Ruka hiccupped as she put out her arms. Her father set her child in her arms and she continued on sobbing. "Father...mother...he's...he's..."

Kasumi chuckled. "Healthy. Beautiful." She reached out her hand and caressed Asato's cheek. "Our beloved boy."

Ruka pursed her lips. "Your beloved boy, not mine."

Kasumi gaped. "Ruka, I know we all agreed that your father and I would claim him as our own, but you can't reject him."

"I'm not!" Ruka lowered her voice when Asato twitched in her arms. "I loved him the moment I felt him kick in my belly. I-I don't know if I can bear having him think I'm his sister, not his mother. He can't know about Asato, but this is hurting me more than I thought."

Daichi harrumphed. "If only you told us his name from the start, we would be able to keep Asato far away from that bastard's sight." Keeping to her stubbornness, Ruka shook her head, relinquishing no information. "Fine. We'll drop this issue. He is now my son, he has no other father."

Kasumi caressed her grandchild, no, son's head with tenderness. "We can't break out of our roles. Asato is our son and your little brother, Ruka."

Ruka blinked back a new wave of tears. "Yes...my brother."

On her deathbed, Ruka finalized her decision in keeping her truth to her grave. Her parents did it. Now, it was her turn. She almost broke when Asato tended to her, keeping up hope that she would recover from her sickness. A naïve wish that she didn't object or voiced against. Asato didn't deserve such a traumatic reveal before she passed on to the afterlife.

She always wanted him to call her mom.

Just one time.

Just once.

She accepted her death with open arms. No use crying or getting angry over developing the disease which plagued the burrows. She suspected as much when her cold extended past two weeks. Usual remedies soothed her chest for a brief period of time before she began her coughing fits.

As she watched him prepare a medicine, a hope to cure her, she thanked the heavens he remained in good health. Asato never so much had a cold growing up. A strong immunity to a majority of diseases. He might survive toward an old age after living a fulfilling life.

She would outlive her child.

"This should help, nee-san. At least, the pain will dull for a while." Asato told her, determination clear in his tone. He helped her sit up and pressed the cup to her lips. "Are...you sure you don't want a doctor? I heard Doctor Mur-"

Ruka sipped the concoction, her stomach heaving from the taste. "I don't need help from that doctor." Even in her weak state, she managed to put emphasis of her hatred for that man.

Asato worried his lower lip. "Ruka, nothing is helping. You need a doctor."

Ruka coughed, almost falling onto Asato's side to keep herself steady. "No." She covered her mouth, concealing the visible specks of blood. "And don't you dare bring him into our house."

Her heart clenched at the pained expression on his face. She hated releasing her irritation onto him when he deserved none of it. "Yes, nee-san."

Ruka laid her cheek against his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Asato, bless his heart, smiled at her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, nee-san. All you have to worry about is getting stronger and recovering from this sickness. You'll feel better in no time!"

"Hmm..." Ruka closed her eyes, tuckered out from the act of sitting up.

Asato helped her back onto her futon and tucked her in. "Don't talk. Just sleep."

"Asato?"

"Yes?"

Ruka told him with a serene smile. "I love you so much, Asato. More than anyone else in this world you are my reason for living."

Asato leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Didn't I say to preserve your voice, nee-san?" He chuckled. "And you always say I'm the one that doesn't listen." He blew out the oil lamp before he settled into the futon beside his sister. He clutched onto her hand, comforting himself in feeling her pulse. "Good night, Ruka."

"Goodnight." Ruka listened to his breathing until it evened out. She felt so tired. So tired.

Using the last bit of her strength, she moved their interlaced hands toward her face. Ruka pressed one last kiss to Asato's fingers before she welcomed death's embrace.