Author's Note: This was written as an entry for the Song Lyrics contest at the KakaSaku LJ (kakasaku DOT livejournal DOTcom). The contest involved writing a story involving these two characters that incorporates song lyrics from a song not of the author's choice.
The song I was given was Boom Boom Ba by Metisse. I suggest looking up the lyrics first, but ff makes it impossible to link.
Thanks for reading!
Boom boom.
Two times Sakura confessed love to her Team Seven comrades. Two times she was rejected.
Boom boom.
Sasuke she loved with the blind devotion, the kind that makes hearts flutter and implants butterflies in bellies - the kind that means nothing at all.
Boom boom.
Naruto she loved deeply, more deeply than anyone else she'd ever met, but not in the way he wanted. Her confession had been nothing more than a lie to him - to herself - to save him from her first love. But Naruto had seen right through her in the same way he did everyone, and so she had tried to kill Sasuke herself to spare him the pain.
Just as she was too weak to love Naruto, Sakura was too weak to kill Sasuke.
Boom boom.
The only teammate she never confessed to was the only one she always truly loved in all the ways that did mean something.
"One, two, three, four, five," she counted, rhythmically pumping her palms into his chest.
The war was hard on Kakashi, and yet, somehow the easiest thing he'd ever done. For the first time in his life, he had people he let himself care about, let himself show he cared about.
Naruto and Yamato were usually off together, as each other's insurance tickets to not accidentally destroying another village. Sai was either with them or doing his ANBU or Root duties, at least until the divisions formed and he was placed elsewhere. They were all doing important things, so it was all right. As long as Kakashi knew they were okay, the ache that had persisted in his heart since as long as he remembered could ebb.
"Can you hear me? Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Sakura, though, was always around. Naruto's absence weighed on her heavily, especially since her false confession had driven a wedge between them. Naruto still smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes in the same way. Naruto looked at Hinata now the way he used to look at Sakura.
So now none of her smiles reached her eyes, either, though she made a valiant effort to pretend. She knew the threat they were facing and that this was no time to give in about something as meaningless as a broken heart.
"Can you feel his heartbeat?" someone screamed.
To distract herself, Sakura sought out Kakashi in those tense, seemingly expansive days before the dawn of war. She was testing the waters, seeing how much he would give now in contrast to the years when he'd been so private. It became something of a game and Kakashi played along.
"Hey, boy. Don't be so useless - go get me a crash kit."
It began as all such things between ninja begin: with a spar. He'd exhausted her easily, but with one lucky hit, she'd sent them both tumbling. She landed on his chest heavily, knocking the air out of them.
They lay there, trying to regain their breaths. Her head rested on his chest, pink hair contrasting with the darkness of his shirt.
"What are you thinking about?" she whispered, eyes closed.
"I'm wishing I wore a flak jacket today. If I had, my ribs might feel a little less bruised," he answered truthfully. "What are you thinking about?"
"Your heart."
"Can you hear my heartbeat - in this world? With all this noise?"
As if on cue, the screech of a saw rent the air. Construction was heavy in every part of town after the invasion.
"Always," she said, and then her eyes snapped open. "Come on, let's go again."
"One, two, three, four, five."
He woke up almost every night shaking, cold sweat drenching his brow, terrified that he would lose everyone all over again. But despite that, Kakashi somehow found the thing that had eluded him his entire life: the ability to be someone's company, the ability to find company in someone else - someone living.
"What are you thinking about?"
It was dark - pitch black - so maybe he was in his - their - battlefront tent. Maybe it was the middle of the night. Maybe she was in her bedroll, curled up and drooling just a little bit. Maybe, if she was really relaxed, she was snoring. Maybe he would say something about it in the morning, just to annoy her.
"If you're thinking about that sadistic freak, don't you dare. You're not trash. You're not! You saved Naruto. You saved Chouji."
As general of the Third Division, Kakashi had decreed that teammates should bunk together whenever possible to promote teamwork. Teamwork was what would win them the war, it was true - he knew it as deeply as he knew the color of her hair - but it was also true that he just wanted to watch over her, even at night when the camp was asleep.
"You saved me, too, remember? You do it every day. Every day..."
He had saved her, from Sasuke, from herself... One of his few true successes as a teacher.
"Don't listen to that guy. I know you had to kill Rin. Everyone knows that but him. Remember - Gai said that's what she wanted. Do you understand, Kakashi? You don't have to like what I'm saying to understand it."
Kakashi was a smart man. He understood many things in life, or he had come to, after a harsh lesson or two. He was done with lessons now.
"Damn it! It was my dream to save you, to save them. Are my dreams to be all I can do?"
His dreams had changed so much. He once dreamt of nothing more than to live as the perfect ninja, to die as the perfect ninja, with no emotion, with no pride in anything but the village.
"One, two, three, four, five!"
Now, his dreams were only of the people he loved, laughing. Living.
Boom boom.
Boom boom.
Boom...