On the day Dean Winchester carried his six month old brother out of the burning house that had already claimed the life of their mother, the four year old made a promise to the infant in his arms. He made a promise to always he there for him, to protect him no matter what, and to love him unconditionally. With their mother gone he made the decision to take care of Sam the way their mother would be unable to no matter the cost.
It was a hefty burden to bare but Dean swore to do it. He wouldn't let anything take his baby brother away from him the way his mom had been.
It was a promise that Dean would take with him to the grave.
How many nights had John woken up to find Dean in Sam's crib, holding onto his sleeping baby brother?
How badly did Sam want to walk because all he wanted was to be with Dean? It was to his big brother he took his first steps. Not his father.
When Dean went to school he made their father swear to God that he would take care of Sam. If anything would happen to his baby brother because he wasn't there Dean would only blame himself. Even at seven, Sam was everything to him. His life, his world...
And things only got worse as they grew up. If John had noticed how attached his son was becoming to the toddler he didn't say anything or chalked it up to Dean being the best big brother he could to Sammy. There was nothing to worry about. Everything is perfectly normal in the crazy life they lived.
And still Dean's feelings for Sam grew.
On the fateful day when Sam admitted he had been accepted into collage- to Stanford University with a full ride no less- was the day that Dean's heart was shattered. How was expected to live with out Sam? He had ALWAYS been with his baby brother, and thanks to the hunters life they lived more often then not, had shared a bed with him in whatever motel they were staying at, always having the others back, always there for each other. He wouldn't know what to do without Sam by his side.
He NEEDED Sam.
It wasn't until Jessica died that Dean felt anything real again. Up until that point, he was faking his way through anything emotional and living through killing monsters and one night stands. But now he had his brother back. The brother that he needed more than the air in his lungs.
He was finally alive.
If only Sam knew it.
...
When you spend every moment with someone in a single room every little thing that they do can get on your nerves. The Winchester s, even with Dean's feelings for Sam, were no exception.
"Seriously Dean! She was like, seventeen!" Sam bitched over his shoulder at his brother as he opened the door to their motel room.
"What do you want me to tell you? Do you really want to know how dry my sex life has been these past few weeks?" Dean mumbled, closing the door behind him and tossing the keys to his baby onto the mini table beside the door.
After Dean sold his soul to a crossroads demon to bring Sam back from the dead, the hunter was determined to gank as many evil sonsofbitches as he could before the hellhounds came for him, and that meant long hours of research and even longer hours in the car driving from job to job. Dean had not had much time to hook up with anyone in his eagerness to make his last year worth it.
He didn't know how Sam did it. As far as Dean was aware, his baby brother had been celibate since Jessica's death.
Poor guy.
"Then jack off or something." Sam sounded exasperated as he toed off his boots. "Don't go chasing jailbait."
Dean shrugged out of his leather jacket, laying it on the table as well. "It's not the same." His hand was nowhere near close to the soft folds of a woman or greedy mouth. That's what he wanted. Or at least softer hands than what he had to work with.
Sam laid back onto the bed, stretching his long limbs.
"Whatever dude."
A realization dawned on Dean. "Please tell me you don't spank it in the shower." The younger man stayed quiet and Dean pulled a face. "Come on, man! I have to stand in that!"
No matter how hard he fought the onslaught of images, the scene still played out in Dean's head.
Sam standing under the pouring water, wet ribbons winding down his body, and steam filling the room. One hand would be splayed against the tile, his hazel eyes would he closed and his lips would be parted, breathing heavily and occasionally biting his lip as his other hand wrapped around himself. He would would work the skin, up and down, adding a little turn of the wrist or running the pad of his thumb over the slit until he came, whispering his pleasure to the spray of water as it washed all evidence away and down the drain.
Dean felt himself getting hard.
Shit.
"That's gross, man." He added, walking around Sam's bed to sit on the edge of his own.
"Yeah, because whoring yourself around is so much more sanitary." The tall man's eyes were closed, his hands resting on his stomach.
"Hey!" Dean objected, pointing a finger at his little brother, not caring that he couldn't see it. "I have never payed for sex!"
Sam chuckled, his face breaking into a grin. "Whatever you say, man."
"Fuck you."
Sam lifted his head off of the mattress, opening his left eye to watch his brother's reaction, his grin firmly in place. "As tempting as that offer is, I'm going to have to decline." His smile turned into something a little more what Dean would describe to be fit for the bedroom. "Besides, that's a bit too kinky for my tastes."
Baboom. Baboom. Baboom. That one comment was enough to get his heart beating harder. More mental images raced through Dean's mind.
Grabbing handfuls of Sam's long hair, feeling it's silky texture running through his fingers, as he clashed his mouth to his baby brother's in a hot mess of lips, tongues, and teeth. Of the feeling of stubble rubbing against his skin's Sam used his hands to move his head for a better angle.
Shaking his head, he tried to clear it as if it were an etch-a-sketch.
Sam was still watching him, looking at his brother's discomfort with amusement.
Dean flipped him off.
Sam propped himself up on his elbows, enjoying making his brother uncomfortable.
"And now your thinking about it!" Sam laughed, unaware of the path his brother's thoughts were taking. He assumed it was just a joke. "That's low, even for you."
"Watch it Sammy." Dean warned, not liking the look on the other man's face.
"Or what?" Sam challenged, looking smug.
Dean allowed a smile to creep onto his face, his eyes narrowing. "Or I might just make it an official offer." He accepted the challenge with his own.
Sam looked as if he were sceptical that Dean would take their little game that far but decided not to push it. Laying back on his back, he closed his eyes again, missing the breath his brother had let out.
Dean did not know if it were out of relief or disappointment but the tight feeling remained in his chest as well as his jeans.
Man, he needed to get laid.
Ignoring the discomfort, he pushed himself back onto the bed to sit against the headboard as he grabbed the remote. With one last look toward Sam, he turned on the television and began sifting through the channels to find something he was familiar with. Living the life the Winchester's did, they did not have a whole lot of down time to become very acquainted with the TV.
Finding nothing, he turned it off with a frustrated sigh. Now what was he going to do?
With nothing to distract him, Dean's mind went into overdrive.
Hands wandering over flesh, exploring, needing to feel the other man against him. There's not enough friction. Dean needs more. He digs his fingers into Sam's skin, running his fingernails down the other man's flesh, enjoying the way the muscles dance under his touch.
Sam cant take it, he needs to feel more than just Dean's hands roaming his body. He wants Dean's mouth to cover every inch of him. To grind against him. Something. Anything.
With a frustrated growl, he grabs Dean by the shoulders and flips him over so that he is the one on his back on the floor and Sam is the one straddling him, running his own hands down the smaller man's chest.
"Oh Sammy, I love it when you dominate." Dean joked, reaching up to run his fingers through his brother's hair.
"Shut up." Sam covered his mouth with his own.
A spasm of his muscles woke Dean from his sleep, though when he had fallen asleep he did not know. Yawning, he stretched his limbs, tender from sleeping in an upright position.
"I take it you slept well." Sam commented, laying in his own he'd with one hand behind his head, the other holding the remote as he watched some cop show.
"Not too bad." Dean yawned again, scooting down to a more comfortable position to go back to sleep.
"You made some pretty happy noises." He cleared his throat, not looking at his brother. "You said my name."
Shit.