Summary: When Saotome Genma teaches a 14-year-old Ranma the Neko-ken, he isn't prepared for the results. No amount of coaxing, carousing, or catnip is enough to snap the boy out of the technique. Amidst all this, what of the Tendou-Saotome engagement pact?
Disclaimer (CMA): The characters and settings used in this story are the property of their respective owners. They are used here without permission, but with no malicious or libelous intent. The author receives no compensation for this work aside from peer reviews.
"Tendou,
Must call off arrangements.
Bringing Ranma, details when I get there.
—Genma"
Call off the arrangements!? thought Soun, reading the hastily scrawled message. What on earth was Saotome thinking? The plan had been in place for years; it just wouldn't do to waste all that preparation on a whim. Bringing Ranma…. Well, at least he had sense enough to bring his son with him. Maybe the boy would hit it off with one of Soun's daughters even without a formal engagement.
Easy, boy…!
To the casual passerby, it was an almost comical sight. On one side of the road stood a giant panda, one paw waving a white flag and the other a handwritten signboard. Across from him was a young girl, a fiery redhead whose temper was evinced in her restless pacing and snarling. It was strange, though, how she did that pacing down on four… paws, as it were.
The panda's sign flipped, displaying another message on the reverse. How about a nice fishy? it said, and the furry creature dropped its flag to hold up a trout instead. Hissing wildly, the red-haired menace pounced on the meal so readily provided, not caring in the least of the panda's screams of pain when her 'claws' went through the scaly thing and into his stocky arms.
Sated for the time being, she dashed down the road in search of a more engaging plaything.
KNOCK, KNOCK.
That must be him, now. Soun rose from his seat, as his eldest daughter Kasumi poked her head out of the kitchen.
"Are you expecting someone, father?" she asked in surprise. The Tendou residence rarely received visitors since the dojo closed, especially at this hour of the morning, and in such inclement weather.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am," replied the elder Tendou, pulling the end of his moustache nervously. "An old friend of mine brings… news." The explanation was good enough, Kasumi decided, and returned to her dinner preparations.
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK.
Also distracted by the noise, Nabiki looked up from the manga she was reading in the den. Seeing her father head for the door, she quietly followed him in hopes of getting a glimpse of the boy her father had failed to mention, but who was the subject of a large portion of the household's recently received letters and postcards.
KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK—
The hinges finally gave under the stressful pounding. Instead of a middle-aged man and his son, however, Soun and Nabiki were confronted by… a panda.
"Dad? Since when do you know any pandas?"
Tendou Soun was dumbstruck. "I— I don't. There must be some mistake."
As if on cue, the panda held up yet another sign: Hot water, QUICK.
"Let me get this straight, Saotome-kun. You trained your son in the Neko-ken?"
"Yes…?"
"He lost his mind and, with the mind of a cat, chased you to China and back, where the both of you gained transformation curses at the Pools of Sorrow?"
"On the money so far."
"And he—now a she—is on a bloody rampage in the middle of Tokyo with no one to keep her under control?"
"More or less, and that's why we MUST find her— him— whatever! as quickly as possible! There's no telling what kind of havoc he'll wreak upon a city like this!"
Still in a state of shock, first from discovering a panda on his doorstep, then from the unbelievable yarn his old friend—the panda—had spun, Soun did two things. First he worked his mouth like a drowning carp, and then—
"Well, my daughters do love animals," he said with a grandfatherly twinkle in his eye.
"Psst. Hey, Akane." Sayuri leaned forward and tapped her friend's shoulder. "Get a load of that." She pointed out the window to the school's boundary wall, upon which sat a slip of a girl as she daintily preened her hands.
Akane waited for the teacher to face the board before turning in her seat. Her eyes grew wide, and she struggled to keep in a giggle when the redhead began to run her "paws" through her flame-tinted hair. It was that moment at which the teacher looked to the class for a volunteer.
"Miss Tendou? Might I ask what is so interesting that it distracts you from participating in class?"
Anything, Akane wanted to reply, but instead she simply pointed a finger in the same manner as Sayuri had. The teacher walked to the window and followed the outstretched digit with her eyes.
"I… see." She was clearly shaken. "As rare a sight as that is, you s-should be concentrating on the lesson at the moment." Returning unsteadily to the front of the class, the teacher tried her hardest to bury what she'd seen in the deepest, darkest recesses of her mind.
The girl had, at that point, moved on to washing more… interesting… parts of her body.
Elsewhere in the school, another Tendou was still musing over all she'd seen and heard that morning. A man who turns into a panda… and a boy who turns into a girl… and they're both living in my house. My life is officially hell. Surely the kami were not so cruel as to burden her with those crazies AND Kunou Tatewaki?
"They're going at the usual price, of course, Kunou-chan." The middle Tendou daughter smiled her sweetest "yen" smile—which really wasn't all that different from her regular "yen" smile, to be honest—and promptly choked. For, in turning around to better do business with her favorite customer, she had caught a glimpse through the window of a waifly redhead with… her face in her own crotch. How on earth the poor dear managed to bend quite that way was beyond Nabiki's immediate train of thought, but she was certain, based on the girls feline mannerisms, that it had nothing to do with rib surgery.
"Oh, my."
"Tendou, this is foolishness! I mean, I'm all for following through with the plans, but under these circumstances…." Genma paused, searching for the right words to express his misgivings. "Well, as you can see, if the boy's not in his right mind—or body, for that matter—it will be an impossible task to carry out a wedding, much less would we have any chance of an heir!"
Soun continued pulling his moustache, visions of grandchildren dancing in his head. "Wha— oh, I'm sorry, Saotome, did you say something?"
"I said… are you even listening? I don't claim to be a genius, but it certainly doesn't take one to see that we can't possibly fulfill our dreams this way! Perhaps if I had another son, it would work, but I don't, so it—it just won't! I'm truly sorry, friend, but I didn't realize it would come to this."
"Well…." Tendou pulled on his moustache a bit more. "Have you tried feeding your son fish sausages? Cats like those, I've heard."
"Fish sausages, fish cakes, dried sardines, salted sardines; you name it, I tried it. I'm not even sure there is a way to wake him from the trance! Although, one bright point to all this is, after all the work I did to teach him the technique, at least he learned it."
"Indeed, Saotome; indeed. But this is a real predicament." He hemed and hawed for a few moments, then spoke up. "What say you to this? You and your… child… may stay here until he is fit to be engaged to one of my daughters. If we can find a way to wake him before all of them are otherwise married, then—and only then—will we dissolve the agreement."
"That—that could be years!" Not that I'm complaining, but….
"Indeed, it could. However, I look forward to seeing the schools joined someday, as I'm sure you do. As long as it takes, I will wait. Unless you have a better idea?"
"Err," Genma replied quickly. He cleared his throat. "No, not really."
Lunch period came not a moment too soon for the hard-working (pshea, right) students of Fuurinkan High. The mass of teenagers poured out through the front doors into the warm spring sun; a welcome change from the morning's rain. Amidst the throng, the youngest sisters Tendou met, as was their wont, in front of the largest tree in the yard.
Akane, unusally nervous, opened the conversation. "Nabiki, you didn't happen to see the—"
"The weird girl on the wall?" Nabiki chuckled at the memory. "That was quite a show she put on up there. Kinda makes me wonder if she's insane, or just desperate for attention."
"Well, now that you mention it… she didn't exactly look like she was in her right mi…nd…." The younger Tendou trailed off when she saw the topic of discussion headed toward them, on all fours, her rear waving about in the air. Miss Kitty, as Nabiki had started calling the redhead to herself, wasn't acting particularly menacing, but practically breathed dominion despite her inhuman antics. Or perhaps, Nabiki thought, it's because she's acting like a cat.
The redhead made a sort of sauntering beeline for the tree that Nabiki and Akane stood beside, and the crowds parted nervously before her. The sisters would have moved as well, if the slight girl hadn't locked Akane with an expressionless gaze that froze her to the spot, and Nabiki wasn't about to leave her little sister defenseless, even if that little sister was more capable of defense than herself. It was just… that sisterly instinct. And a little bit of well-placed fear of defying Miss Kitty.
"Umm… good kitty…?" ventured Nabiki, kneeling slowly and shakily, spreading her hands palm-up toward the redhead. In true feline fashion, she slowly sniffed at the proffered appendages, then turned away haughtily, heading for Akane. The younger Tendou was frozen in fear, too scared to even mimic her sister's actions.
To everyone's surprise, especially Akane's, the girl-gone-cat sniffed at her skirt just once—and curled up at her feet, throat rumbling contentedly. Though she knew for a fact that humans simply cannot purr, Nabiki watched and listened in amazement as the red-haired girl did just that.
"So, what're you gonna name her, Akane?" asked Yuka, after school had let out for the day. 'Her' referred to the girl now fast asleep, curled up in Akane's lap where she and her two friends sat on a park bench. The redhead had refused to leave the young Tendou's side all day, and hissed quite convincingly at anyone dense enough to try to remove her.
"N-name her!? She's not an animal, Yuka! No doubt she has a name already, and I'm sure it's a nice one, too. She's just… not in any condition to tell us." As embarrassed, and slightly flattered, as she was at having a strange girl (a cute one, too, she admitted silently, then quickly amended, but it's not as if I like her or anything!) follow her like a shadow for most of the school day, the idea of treating the girl as a pet was… wrong.
Yuka shrugged, replying, "Well, yeah, but since she can't tell us her name, and she looks pretty set on tailing you home, you've gotta call her something."
"How about 'Snuggles'?" suggested Sayuri with a grin. "It seems to be one of her favorite pastimes."
"Ha, ha. Not funny. Seriously, guys, what am I going to do about her? I can't very well bring her home with me!" Akane exclaimed, even while unconsciously stroking the small girl's fire-red bangs.
Sayuri tapped her chin in thought. "I wonder how old she is, anyway."
"I'd say about twelve. Akane, you're practically robbing the cradle, if you weren't just sixteen yourself," Yuka said.
Akane bopped Yuka on the head; not hard, just enough to get across the frustrated message, 'Shut up, or be shut up.' "Yuka! I can't believe this. I really need to figure out what to do with her! Can't you stop joking around for just five minutes?"
"Okay, but just five," Yuka answered, giving her a mischievious smile.
Sighing, Akane said, "Better than nothing."
Author's Note: Nooooo! Another one-shot! But at least I'm not starting a new series. Someday this'll be longer. R&R, onegaishimasu?