Title: A Bittersweet Reverie
Summary: Rai attempts to experience Chuseok* by visiting the previous Lord's shrine. The solitude and the comfort from the familiarity of the remnants of the Lord's spiritual power prompt Rai to speak aloud his thoughts about the drastic changes that have occurred in his life recently.
*Chuseok is a major festival and a three-day holiday in Korea. On Chuseok Koreans return to their hometowns to pay respects to the spirits of their ancestors.
A/N: IMPORTANT - READ THIS FIRST! Since the previous Lord's name hasn't been revealed in the manhwa, for convenience sake I'm going to use 'Mansuetus' as the Lord's name. The name means 'gentle' in Latin.
A note for Bunny: Thank you very much for your help 666EnergizerBunnyfromHell ^_^
It was a full moon night. A lone figure could be seen walking along the long moonlit corridor towards the previous Lord's shrine. The colossal set of doors that marked the entrance to the shrine opened in response to his power and gave entry to the deceptively lithe looking being. Cadis Etrama Di Raizel, with his perpetually solemn expression, kneeled in front of the casket that encased the Lord's body. Frankenstein, who always accompanies him wherever he goes like a shadow, was absent because the Noblesse had requested to be left alone for a while. So it was only him in the Lord's shrine. Though dead, the shrine still contained remnants of the Lord's spiritual power - it was the only company he had and it comforted him. He closed his eyes and imagined the Lord in front of him, listening to him and then he started to unwind everything that has been troubling him recently and everything that has been left unsaid between them. In the absolute stillness of the room, even his soft voice rang loud and clear for no one but himself to hear.
"Humans have this queer practice…" He started, choosing his words carefully. "Every year they visit the resting place of their deceased relatives and speak to them, even though they do not posses the ability to leave imprints." It was the day before Chuseok, the children had been talking about visiting their ancestral homes and Suyi had asked whether Rai, Regis and Seira would be going back to their ancestral place as well. When asked why, Ikhan had replied that it is to honor the spirits of one's ancestors. Yuna had said that she likes talking to her grandma's grave; it gave her peace of mind. Rai had been intrigued by that statement and wanted to try it and thought that perhaps he should visit the previous Lord's shrine.
Rai's eyes were closed as if in deep meditation as he spoke calmly "Lately, I have a feeling that I am becoming more and more greedy. I wish to spend more time in the human world, which I have recently begun to think of as my home. I wish to protect the life and memories I have built there. Though the life I'm leading now is nowhere near what I had dreamt of…" He trailed off and his expression became ever so slightly disturbed as though recalling something unpleasant. "…Because while standing in front of the window inside my desolate mansion, I couldn't have possibly dreamt of a life such as this. I didn't know, nor could I have ever imagined, let alone wish for a life like this." He said, and then a small smile tugged at his lips as he said the following words "Frankenstein had built this world for me and I can't love him enough for this. Yet, all I do is cause him worry, because of my greed." Here, a troubled expression, though faint, marred his otherwise perfect features.
"Mansuetus, I'm confused, I have more than I had ever wished for and yet, I'm greedy for more. Does that make me a terrible person?" His tone took a vaguely desperate edge though his expression remained mutinously composed. "I feel so many emotions churning within me. They are all foreign and overwhelming. Now I'm always surrounded by so many humans who do not fear me...dare I say, they like me? I'm experiencing the most curious sensations recently." Rai could feel inexplicable warmth spread inside him as he recalled some of the incidents that has occurred. "There is a human child called Shin Woo, he introduced me to a delicious cuisine called Ramen which I quite enjoy eating. He calls me his friend and he tried to protect me even though he knew very well that his opponent was far stronger than him. But he also kills me ruthlessly in PC games and even punishes me when I lose in board games... Mansuetus, is it peculiar to enjoy being hit by a child? Is it wrong to wish to savor the feeling of being protected for a change? Am I being greedy when I wish to prolong these experiences?" The slightly desperate edge that his voice had held earlier became more pronounced as he continued to speak.
"I'm so happy Mansuetus that I don't know what to do. How do I respond to such a degree of happiness...it is bewildering. Is it alright for me to feel this happy?" Rai took a deep breath unused to the feelings he was experiencing. He refused to let it take control of him and maintained his poise even in solitude as he continued to narrate the changes that have occurred in his life. "There are these three enhanced humans whom myself and Frankenstein have taken under our wings. It is regrettable that inhuman powers have been thrust upon them against their will. They live with us now. They seem to desire an ordinary life just like me." Speaking of those three reminded Rai of the time when Frankenstein had informed him about the group they had formed – the 'RK-4'. When Frankenstein explained to him what 'RK' stood for, Rai had felt his heart skip a beat and then flutter wildly causing blood to rush towards his face. He'd instinctively turned away from facing Frankenstein and the reflection of himself that greeted him when he turned toward the glass door surprised him even more. His usually pale face was tinged with red and from the corner of his eyes he remembered seeing Frankenstein smiling like a satisfied cat. Even thinking about that incident is stirring unfamiliar but not entirely undesired emotions within him. So Rai decided to lock the memory inside a secret room deep within his heart where he could re-visit it later.
After the brief pause, Rai carried on with his narration. "There is this particular human called M-21, he reminds me so much of how Frankenstein was when we first met. It brings back so many memories." Rai's expression was filled with fondness as he recalled a time long past but never forgotten. "When Frankenstein started living with me, it was strange at first, to be taken care of by someone... I had never pondered on that before. It was strangely pleasant and I enjoyed it. But now, there are so many who care for me, who are willing to sacrifice themselves to protect me and who also dare to treat me like an equal." Rai could still remember his surprise when M-21 offered to hold back two elders from the union so that he could escape. As he recalled that incident, a slight tremor passed through his body before he could stop it.
Rai concentrated on the image of the Lord he had conjured in his mind in order to keep the unfamiliar sensations at bay and continued to talk "I can't call this feeling as pleasant anymore; it is too intense to be called that. It is too overwhelming Mansuetus, what do I do? I feel lost amongst these foreign emotions which I find addicting." He admitted, feeling a bit embarrassed by his self-indulging attitude. "It is like I'm losing control and letting myself be swept away. Am I doing something I shouldn't be?" The genuine note of doubt in the Noblesse's voice would have plucked at the previous Lord's heart strings had he been alive and listening.
"Mansuetus, you asked me which came as a bigger surprise to me - you entering eternal sleep or that you have left Ragnarok in my shrine... The truth is, I'm disappointed that you are no longer alive. You have always wished for me to join you in the palace and live along with other nobles, but I could never grant that wish of yours." Rai's voice held note of regret as he said that in absolute sincerity. "Right now Regis K. Landegre and the young Loyard clan leader are staying together with me and Frankenstein. They are different from the nobles of the past. They are more flexible to change, they learn from their mistakes and… they are not discomforted by my presence…"
Rai took a short break to collect his thoughts and continued narrating. "Also, Frankenstein has built this place called 'school' where human children gather in order to equip themselves for facing their society in the future. I decided to join there to learn more about the changes that had taken place in the world during the time I was asleep and now, I'm always surrounded by many people. I have decided to engrave every moment that I spend with them into my memory. When I think of the past, there are but a very few memories that I have and those are the times I spent with you or later, with Frankenstein. Because otherwise, everyday was the same for me. However, now I have collected so many in a very short time... yet I crave for more. How much more greedy can a person become?" There was a hint of frustration in his voice when he said that but as he continued there was an odd mixture of contentment and yearning in his tone and the words that follow were spoken without a hint of hesitation proving that he'd pondered on this topic already and a decision has been made. "However, I don't want to deny myself this wish. I have decided, Mansuetus, to protect all that is precious to me, even if it costs me my life." Even the most eloquent person would find it hard to describe the expression on his face as he said the following words. "I am aware that this decision of mine will greatly distress Frankenstein. But he had introduced me to this new world... My only regret is that all I give him in return is worry."
It was absolutely silent for sometime after the Noblesse had stopped speaking, then he slowly stood up and facing the casket, he bowed gracefully as he would have done in front the Lord before taking his leave.
::THE END::
A/N: Based on your feedback I might write a sequel from Frankenstein's P.O.V. *hint* ^_~ (This is my first time writing a fic in this genre. So please be kind when you rate it!)