The Unbecoming of Chloe Saunders

01

Autophobia

Leaning against her locker, Chloe Saunders glanced down the hallway, everyone facing away from her when she looked, then watched her when she wasn't, and felt an overwhelming sense of dread.

To be frank, she had become an outcast. A whole three months of avoiding anyone from Lyle High School had been hell; she blew off people and social events and avoided anyone and everyone.

She glanced down the hallway again.

A few kids leaned against wall, most playing on some game on their phones or talking with each other.

Just the sight of them made he heart pound. As she stared, wide-eyed, she spotted a tall, broad figure, standing close to a bisecting hallway, head lifted and turned towards her.

Fuck! Are they looking at me? They totally are. They probably think I'm some whore. She stopped short of the double doors leading into the cafeteria entrance hall and someone bumped into her, sending both of them to the floor.

Chloe's head was spinning as she laid there, a bony elbow digging into her ribs.

A tall boy blotted out the harsh, fluorescent light; his eyes seemed to glow as he looked down at them. "Are you okay?" he asked and his dark, rumbling voice sent chills down her back.

She managed a weak nod as the redhead rolled off was surprised to see it was Kari, who seemed to not even realize who she was.

"Sorry," Kari laughed and bounced away.

"You okay?" the boy repeated, eyes following Kari and Beth until they disappeared from sight.

"I'm fine," Chloe whispered as she got to her feet, rubbing at the tender spot on her ribs.

There was silence as the boy held out both hands, matching silver rings on each middle finger.

Chloe slid her hand into his as people buzzed around her, the faint whispers finally reaching her.

"—Isn't that—"

"—Derek Souza—"

"—Dangerous—"

"—Chloe Saunders—"

"—Slept with—"

"—Whore—"

Chloe felt her face burn as the boy dropped her hand.

He was tall, towering above her, with a head full of messy black hair and milk-white skin, like some sort of fairy-tale princess (er, prince?), and shockingly green eyes, like grapes or blades of grass during the summer months. His cheeks were pocketed from acne long ago cleared but there were still some rough patches overlaying the healed spots. "I'm Derek," he rumbled.

"I'm uh C-Chloe." Her cheeks burned as his eyes slid away from someone behind her to her, watching her with a frightening intensity. A cold lump of fear balled inside her stomach.

"I know. My brother's boyfriend is in drama too. He jabbers non-stop about you." His lips twitched like he was fighting a smile.

Derek's eyes roamed the hallway of kids until Chloe spoke up. "Aren't you in my Algebra class?" she said quietly.

His head whipped towards her and his intense eyes locked on hers.

She could feel herself turning redder and redder under his gaze; it was like he could see through her and inside her and out again; it left her feeling out of her depth and flayed open.

Quietly, she cleared her throat.

"Yeah. Miss Talbot can't teach for shit, can she?" he muttered, eyes scanning behind her.

Chloe looked up, to say something, and froze; panic lighting a fire in her veins as Rachelle Rodgers smiled too sweetly down at her from behind Derek. "Whore." The word sent a stake right into Chloe's chest as Rae's companions, Mila Andrews and Amber Long, snickered and mimed fellatio behind Derek's back.

Chloe's throat started to close with the promise of tears as Rae shouldered passed her. The strawberry blonde's face burned as she watched them disappear down the hallway and sighed heavily.

She turned back around and stumbled, only to be caught gently from falling by Derek's huge hands on her hips, steadying her. "What was that all about?" he asked quietly.

"I don't know."

That was the first, and only lie she ever told Derek Souza.

After a minor breakdown before lunch, Chloe stumbled into the outdoor courtyard and spotted the sunny brick wall around the garden of dying grass and a huge willow tree towering above the school.

Rae squinted against the sun and laughed at something Royce Banks said.

Everything was buzzing as Chloe sat down, not daring to sneak a peek at the boy next to her with huge headphones or the girl next to her leaning over a paper.

Her throat was tightening as she heard Royce laugh.

It's just me, Chloe.

The world was spinning violently and she felt her stomach churn. Trying to breathe through her nose, Chloe sipped her water, trying to block out his loud laughter. It wasn't working. She stared up at the blue, blue sky, decorated with fluffy white clouds.

Across the yard, Royce was smiling at the copper-haired beauty, brushing her long hair away from her cheek; she was laughing. His eyes scanned and landed on Chloe. Bile rose hot and acidic in her throat as he smiled that damn smile.

Sh, relax. It's just me.

Mila whispered something in Amber's ear and the blonde turned, eyes narrowing. "Bitch," she mouthed.

Chloe felt dizzy as she dropped her water bottle, barely registering the cold water seeping into her sneakers.

"You okay?"

She looked up, feeling her heart pounding viciously and angrily.

Derek's green eyes burned into her. She stared and stared. He didn't look so scary like this; he looked normal. "Y-yeah," she stuttered, picking up her water bottle off the sidewalk.

"Rae and her little group doesn't seem to like you very much," he said blatantly, brushing dirt from his olive-green army surplus jacket.

"She doesn't like much of anyone without a penis," snorted the girl on the other side of Chloe. She was pretty and lean, with spiky, black hair and almond-shaped black eyes, dressed in a black shredded shirt and destroyed fishnet leggings, combat boots tapping impatiently on the concrete.

"Tori," Derek warned as the black-haired girl shrugged.

"It's true," Chloe blurted. "She…she doesn't like other girls. Not even Mila," she admitted, biting her lip until she tasted the heat of blood under the surface of the skin.

"You look really green. Here." Tori shoved something at her. A tin box of mints reflected the bright sunlight into her face.

Chloe took one with a quiet "thank you". She nibbled on them, the taste calming her knotted stomach, and she relaxed.

Tori gathered her things and clunked to class without another word.

"Hi, Chloe."

Immediately her stomach was tight and anxious again as she looked up, terrified.

Royce Banks stood not even a foot away, smirking down at her. His curly black hair was gelled back, gleaming like an eel in the light; his coal-black eyes stared down her with a dark, dangerous hate and something even darker, more vile. "Haven't seen you around lately," he continued conversationally. He looked like a shark, all sharp teeth and sinister intent on his brown face.

"She's been with me," Derek said suddenly, rising.

Royce's lip curled.

Chloe regulated her breathing carefully as she remembered the first day she'd seen Derek.

It was very first day of school, after everything went downhill with Rae at the beginning of summer, the end of eighth grade.

Since his older brother Austin had graduated, Royce Banks was left annoy everyone else, hassling middle school girls for their numbers, saying whatever he liked to anyone because his uncle had connections and he could make people he didn't like disappear.

She remembered watching Derek Souza, freshly transferred from some alternative school in Sacramento, walk passed him as Royce lounged in his big, scary pickup, surrounded by his buddies.

The doctor's nephew yelled something that his stoner friends, Liam and Brady, found absolutely hilarious. When Derek didn't react, Royce got angry and grabbed him by the shoulder, landing a grazing blow across his jaw.

Derek stumbled, turned his head, and said something in reply.

Royce's face turned red as he swung his arm in an arch, intent on knocking the newcomer down a peg.

Derek simply turned his head in the opposite direction and Royce's knuckles hit the air, missing their mark.

Chloe had watched in awe as Derek walked away, and then in horror, as Royce stalked after him. This time, the newcomer couldn't sidestep the punch to his jaw when he glanced over his shoulder and stumbled. She watched in fascination as he turned, dropped his backpack calmly, and landed a solid punch to Royce's face. She heard the crack of bone against flesh. The crowd whispered loudly.

Derek Souza stared down for a minute at the boy rolling on the ground, picked up his backpack, and said something. He turned his back to the security guard and kept walking with a slow, sure stride.

Right now, Derek's muscular thigh was pressed against hers and he was warm.

Royce was glaring down at them.

The bell shrilled.

Chloe's head felt fuzzy.

"I see," he told them slowly, his lip curling. "Have fun. See you around, Chloe." He turned on his heel and jogged down the walkway, sweeping Rae up into his arms.

Chloe's arms trembled as her stomach played tug of war.

"Chl—"

She closed her eyes against the onslaught of tears. "I'm fi-fine," she said quickly and scrambled to her feet. "I-I have a paper due…I've gotta go."

He nodded and got his feet. "See you." He walked in the opposite direction, towards the east wing, and she to the west. Still, she turned back and watched him leave, his powerful strides, ignoring anything and everything.

Satisfied that he wouldn't see, she let her stomach seize and she vomited behind her in the grass.