The Day the Quaffle Won
Inside the all-important Quidditch storeroom, next to the robes and brooms of all types and sizes, there sat a large box, actually, more of a trunk, in which sat four balls of varying abilities but kindred spirits. One, red and plain, without magical attributes, the Quaffle. Two and Three, black, hard, deadly, and fast, the Bludgers. And Four, small, quick, and lively, the Golden Snitch. Together, they made Quidditch what it was, the greatest sport to ever exist on broomsticks. In this trunk, they waited.
"Today's the day," intoned the Quaffle.
"Huh," said Bludger number one.
"Is old reddy saying something?" asked Bludger number two.
"I think he's talking about the game," said Bludger number one.
"What game?"
"The Quidditch game today."
"What? There's no Quidditch game today," said Bludger number two, "it's tonight."
"Same thing," chimed the Golden Snitch.
"Hey goldy!" said Bludger number two, "You're awake!"
"I'm always awake," said the Golden Snitch. The Golden Snitch began to rattle around on the inside of the tight, dark chamber in which she dwelled. "I want out!" she yelled. "I want to fly and fly and fly!"
"Have patience!" scolded the Quaffle. "The time will be here before you know it."
"What do you mean before I know it? I know it now! I can feel it. Flying and zooming and zig-zagging! I want to taste the air and the sky!"
"Yeah, old redbag," said Bludger number one, "Snitch has the right idea. Let's break out of here. I want to eat dust and pound bone!"
"Sounds like fun," said Bludger number two. Both Bludgers began straining on their bonds. The whole trunk creaked and groaned with their effort, but the smart trunk makers had known of the temperaments of Bludgers and it was completely Bludger-proof. Finally, they gave up and began complaining again.
"When's the game?" asked Bludger number one.
"Why are you asking me?" asked Bludger number two.
"I wasn't asking you. You're stupid and you wouldn't know. I was asking the red one."
"Be quiet both of you," said the Quaffle. "The game is later."
"And why should we trust you?" asked Bludger number two.
"He's never been wrong before," said the Golden Snitch.
"True," said Bludger number two, "but his luck's got to run out one of these days."
The Quaffle sighed, knowing that he wouldn't be able to shut them up now that they were getting ready for the game. He turned toward the center of himself, seeking peace and quiet. He had to get ready too after all. Ready to be passed and thrown; ready to score.
Three hours later:
"Yay, we're moving we're moving we're moving we're moving!" exclaimed the Golden Snitch.
"Really?" asked Bludger number two. "How can you tell?"
"She's not straining as much as you are," said the Quaffle matter-of-factly. "So she can feel the trunk being lifted and moved."
"Oh," said Bludger number two.
The trunk swayed in the grip of two wizards, moving ever closer to the Quidditch field. The four balls inside waited with excitement. Finally, the trunk was set down.
"Come on, open the trunk," said Bludger number one. "Just open the trunk."
The trunk began to rock back and forth as the Bludgers and the Golden Snitch tensed themselves for the release. The Quaffle remained, of course, still, but tensed none the less. All of a sudden, the trunk was kicked open. The two Bludgers went rocketing into the sky, one of them yelling "Wheeeee!"
The Golden Snitch was close behind, weaving around the young witches and wizards on their broomsticks. "Get a good look," she said, "because you won't be seeing me again." Then, off she flew, flashing once in the sun before disappearing from sight.
Gingerly, the Quaffle felt himself being picked up. "Here we go," he said softly to himself. The next moment, he was tossed high into the air, surrounded by a blur of colors and movement, and then held snug in the arms of a wizard.
"Old reddy's moving," Bludger number two screamed, zooming by.
"Wait to go, red," said Bludger number one, heading in the opposite direction.
"You can't catch me, you can't catch me," taunted the Golden Snitch, circling the tail of a broomstick.
"Oof," said the Quaffle, passing forcefully to a new player. "Steady on there, that hurt."
"Don't talk to them, Quaf," said Bludger number one. "I don't think they can hear you."
"Who can't hear you?" asked Bludger number two, narrowly missing the head of a small witch.
"Whatever they are," said Bludger number one.
"They're humans," called the Quaffle.
"I'm gonna hit one," said Bludger number one, smashing into the side of the wizard carrying the Quaffle, sending him spinning earthward and causing him to drop the Quaffle.
"Help!" yelled the Quaffle. "I'm falling. Somebody catch me!" Another wizard swooped down and grabbed him from his dive. "Phew!" The Quaffle collected his breath. "Hey, Bludger number one," he bellowed. "I think you did that on purpose."
"What?" said Bludger number two.
"He wasn't talking to you," said Bludger number one, "he was talking to me."
"What do you mean? Who made you Bludger number one?"
Just then, the Quaffle was thrown through a hoop. The crowd exploded in cheers and applause.
"What happened?" asked Bludger number two, swerving toward three humans on broomsticks, causing them to scatter.
"I scored!" called out the Quaffle.
"You went through the center hoop," said the Golden Snitch. "I can do that too." She began flying back and forth through the center hoop. "Look at me!" she said. A wizard hovering near the hoops began waving his arms like mad toward a witch high above. In no time at all, she was diving toward the goal posts, quickly followed by a wizard.
"Oh no I've been spotted!" said the Golden Snitch, abandoning the center hoop to zip on down the field.
"She sure does like attention," said Bludger number two just as a bat sent his spinning off course.
"Yep," said Bludger number one as he chased a witch across the field.
The Quaffle went airborne, the victim of a crazy throw. "Watch where you're throwing me, young man," he called.
"I lost them," called out the Golden Snitch, hovering near the ground.
"Hey, let's make thunder," said Bludger number one.
"Yeah!" said Bludger number two. The two Bludgers accelerated toward each other. With a loud crack, they hit. Yells were heard from the spectators and a few Quidditch players were nearly unseated by the shock of the loud crash.
"Who was it that yelled?" asked Bludger number two.
"It was the fans," said the Quaffle. "Please don't do that again. I was nearly dropped."
"Fans?" asked Bludger number two.
"Let's hit them," said Bludger number one.
"Good idea!" Both Bludgers set a course for the stands, each of them flying toward a different side.
"Oh man!" said Bludger number one as a wizard with a bat sent him upward.
"What's wrong?" asked Bludger number two, swerving just in time before smashing into the panicked crowd.
"Would you two focus on the game?" asked the Quaffle, a little annoyed. His annoyance disappeared at the cheering which followed. "I scored again!" he called out delightedly.
"For which side?" asked the Golden Snitch.
"No idea," he said.
"Hey, I remember what I was going to say earlier," said Bludger number two.
"What was that?" asked Bludger number one as he hit a goal post with a loud clang.
"I don't think you should be Bludger number one. I think I should," said Bludger number two.
"It's already decided," said Bludger number one.
"Naw it isn't."
"Yes it is."
"No, that's not fair."
"Who ever told you Quidditch was fair?"
Bludger number two had such a fit over this that he actually stopped moving. Some wizard with a bat took that opportunity to hit him at a fly-by witch. She fell to the ground, slowed down slightly by the broom which she was draped over. "Did you see that?" asked Bludger number two excitedly.
"Good work," said the Golden Snitch, flying around in a tight circle. "Look at me, I'm a tornado!"
Bludger number two laughed at her antics.
"Hey, I know what you could do," she said.
"What's that?" asked Bludger number two.
"Make up new names! Ooh, can I name you, can I can I can I?"
"Sure," said Bludger number two, racing off toward the most congested group of Quidditch players. Just as he was about to ram into a broomstick, he met a bat and was forced in a new direction.
"Hey, I'm playing over here," said the Quaffle. "You're trying to make me lose aren't you, Bludger number two?"
"Course I am," said Bludger number two, "And I'm not Bludger number two!"
"Yes you are," said Bludger number one, zig-zagging around the players, nicking as many as he could.
"No I'm not! Goldy's coming up with a new name for me."
"I have it!" said the Golden Snitch. "You two can be Seek and Destroy. Isn't that great?"
"Goldy, watch out!" yelled Bludger number two.
The Golden Snitch flew like mad, dodging the two broomsticks hot on her tail. "Help!" she wailed. "They're gonna catch me!" Bludger number one sped between the two players who each swerved, losing sight of the Golden Snitch. "That was a close one," she gasped.
"Good job," said the Quaffle, "So how many points is that for you?"
"Two," the Golden Snitch said delightedly. "I've been spotted and escaped two times."
"Come on, almost there," said the Quaffle.
"What's he talking about?" asked Bludger number two.
Bludger number one, who was on that end of the field replied, "Looks like he's going to score again."
He was right, for just then, the Quaffle went soaring through a golden hoop.
"I'm winning!" he said happily.
"We never win," complained Bludger number two.
"We still might," said Bludger number one.
"I liked the names goldy chose," Bludger number two said, quickly changing the subject.
"I didn't hear them."
"Let me tell let me tell." The Golden Snitch began flashing around beside Bludger number one, keeping pace with him. He tried to crash into one of the wizards holding a bat, but the tactic didn't work. "One of you could be Seek and the other Destroy."
"Those are perfect names for them," said the Quaffle, held in the arms of a witch. Just them, he was grabbed by another player who went flying in the opposite direction who lost the Quaffle to yet another player who followed up behind the first witch and passed to her. "I'm getting dizzy," said the Quaffle.
"I'm not," said the Golden Snitch, flying in a huge arc over the Quidditch field.
The two Bludgers were each pelted toward the same end of the field. "So what do you think?" asked Bludger number two.
"They're neat names," said Bludger number one. "You could be Seek and I'll be Destroy."
"What? That's not fair! I wanted new names so I get to choose first!"
"No you don't. I'm Bludger number one so I get first choice."
Bludger number two flew into Bludger number one, sending him off toward an area of the field where no Quidditch players were.
"Hey!" said Bludger number one. "What'd you do that for? We're a team! I can't help us win from over here."
The crowd erupted in cheers. "Not again!" said Bludger number two.
"Of course again," said the Quaffle. "Now you'll never win. I have four points already."
The two Bludgers became even more aggressive than they'd already been, chasing wizards and witches all over the place, trying to stay away from the ones with bats. Bludger number one smashed into the tail of a broomstick and watched parts of it fall to the ground. "Yes, now we have three points!" he shouted. "And I am Destroy! Did you see me hit that flying thing?"
"I didn't see anything," said Bludger number two. "I'm Destroy. You're Seek."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"NO I'm not!""Stop arguing," said the Golden Snitch. "I can never tell you apart, so I'll choose who is who." Quickly, she circled around Bludger number one, expertly not getting hit, and said. "You're Destroy. Now, I'm going to see if I can get seen again." Off she flew, in search of the witch and wizard who had chased her earlier.
"Hah, told you I was Destroy," said Destroy.
Seek swerved around a wizard, hitting him in the shoulder. "This is stupid. I can do more than seek."
"A name doesn't embody everything you're capable of," said the Quaffle. "No, no, no, don't throw me at the left hoop. I'll never make it in." The Quaffle went soaring toward the left hoop but was met with the tail end of a broom before making it through.
"These humans must be blind or something," said the Golden Snitch, hovering in one spot. "Can't they see me?"
"I can't see you either," said the Quaffle.
"Yeah, well you can't control where you're going, so your vision must be blurry from changing direction unexpectedly so much."
"It does give me a bit of a headache," he admitted.
"Hey Seek," said Destroy. "One of these things is moving funny. Maybe it's defective and will be an easy target."
"What are you talking about? They all look the same to me," said Seek.
Destroy sped off toward the injured player who had been hit in the shoulder by Seek. The wizard saw him coming and went off like a rocket. In almost no time, a bat seemed to come out of nowhere and knocked Destroy backward.
"What! Where'd she come from?" asked the Golden Snitch, quickly doing a figure eight to try to confuse the witch chasing her. "Oh no, it's all over!" The witch extended her arm and closed her fingers over the small and struggling Golden Snitch. There was a pause before the crowd realized what had happened, but then they exploded in more applause than had been heard yet.
"What are you doing?" yelled the Quaffle as he was thrown haphazardly into the air. "Someone catch me!" But no one heard him, or at least no one with the ability to catch him did. Finally, he landed on the ground with a thud. "Oh, I don't feel good," he moaned.
"But you won," said Seek. "At least, I think you did."
"Yeah, he won," said Destroy. "Way to go redhead!"
"Congrats," said the Golden Snitch, still trying to escape the hand she was in.
"Whatever," said the Quaffle. "Good game!"