I've noticed that there aren't very many fics telling about Leah and her pain, and I've been wanting to write this for a while.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters in Twilight. I only give them thoughts and feelings.
She stands in her kitchen, her short black hair badly cut, sticking up on the top. But her appearance is the least of her worries.
She's in pain.
She clutches the steak knife tightly in her right hand, the blade at an angle toward her left arm, which is held under the scorching, running water. She places the tip of the knife at her wet wrist, and drags upward, toward the crease of her elbow. Crimson blood spills from her open wound, and diffuses through the water, disappears down the drain.
She hisses through clinched teeth and squeezes her eyes shut as pain sears through her whole arm.
And then there is nothing.
Her lips quiver as she opens her eyes, and peers down at her arm. She drops the knife in the sink, the water still running. Her tan skin has an unnatural reddish gleam to it, from the hot water, and underneath that… instead of an open wound, there is a thin pink line. A scar.
She heals too fast on the outside.
Hot tears well up in her brown eyes. Why is it that she can heal instantaneously on the outside, but the pain on the inside just simmers, only grows worse? She can never heal emotionally.
Too much has happened.
She hears her front door open and then slam shut. "Seth?" she whispers, knowing he would still be able to hear her. Her reaches over to the sink, and shuts off the water.
"No," a deep, masculine voice responds.
"Jake," she acknowledges her leader as he walks into her kitchen.
"You missed the meeting."
"I did." He voice falters. Jake blinks and breaths in deeply through his nose.
"Did you accidently cut yourself?" He walks around her to her sink. The smell of blood is strong on the metal.
"I did dishes. I was being carless." She turns before Jake can ask anymore questions.
"Leah," he says, grabbing her left arm. She turns and faces him.
"I won't miss another meeting." Jake's eye twitches, and he looks down at the arm he's holding.
The pink line is still showing. Large and bright. His grip tightens, and Leah tries to pull away.
"I have things to do, Jacob." It is a dismissal, but Jake doesn't go to leave.
"Don't do this again."
Leah wrenches her arm away. "I slipped." She turns, but Jake grabs her once more. He spins her around, and crashes his lips against hers.
"I'm not going to leave you," he whispers, knowing why the scar is on her arm.
"I'm not asking you to stay."
"Everyone needs someone."
"Nobody needs me." The truth of her own words pierce her heart. Nobody stays long enough to even act like they need her.
At least, not anymore.
Jacob lets go, his arms hanging limp at his sides. "You don't realize your own worth."
"I can't-" Leah chokes on her words.
"You can't what?" Jake asks, his voice soft.
"You'll imprint." Sam.
Jake freezes and Leah looks up into his eyes, hers cold.
"You'll die." Her father.
Jake swallows, pain and sadness flowing up his throat like bile.
"You'll realize how worthless I really am." Herself.
Jake shakes his head. No, he wants to scream.
"You'll be like everyone else." And she runs from the house, her feet pounding against the dry ground, her oversized shirt flapping against her skin. And she bursts, she screams, and she changes into her most painful form. Her clothes rip from her body, her hair grows everywhere.
And the voice that haunts her dreams, that brightens her nightmares, fills her head.
I'm following you, Jakes says.
Leah howls, and howls. She stops running when she reaches a cliff. The perfect one for cliff diving.
Her claws grip the edge, her tail swishes in a sad way.
She hears a grunt. If you jump, I'll follow you.
Leah turns to face Jake in his wolf form.
Leah howls again, and wishes she didn't rip her clothing. She wants to change back.
Jake tosses her something from his mouth, I piece of cloth, a tee shirt. He turns and Leah makes the transformation back to human, and puts the shirt on. It reaches past her knees.
"Thank you," She whispers. She turns and faces the cliff again, her arms crossed tightly against her chest. Arms wrap around her waist, and Leah jumps, realizing Jake has changed back.
"I'm not leaving you," he whispers, his breath hot against her neck. Leah just looks straight ahead, across to the horizon.
She says nothing, and wishes Jake didn't either. Promises aren't meant to be made, if you aren't capable of keeping them.
Was it good? I had a different idea of how it was going to end, but the characters usually end up writing the stories themselves.
Was it any good?
-Rosie.