Booth's POV
I thought, or, rather, hoped that I had exaggerated in memory this feeling of completeness. The truth is, however, memory had dulled this warmth not enhanced it. Nothing compares with holding Temperance Brennan; I never even felt this way with Rebecca. That's why I didn't let myself tough Bones when she and Hodgins escaped that accursed SUV.
This time, however, it isn't to gratify my own feelings but to protect hers. So, I tell myself and her that it is a "guy hug" and let my heart speak to her through my arms confident she won't recognize my meaning. I'm not sure Dr. Brennan even believes in love, and her current doubt as to her ability to read feelings should help me keep mine hidden.
When she accepted my comfort and stepped into my embrace, I felt this smile spread on my face. Yes, I was afraid, she would step back and see it, but I couldn't extinguish it. Having my arms around he is too perfect a sensation to be checked. I felt a hitch in the rhythm of her breathing- a small sob. My heart stopped. My smile vanished.
"Seeley?" Tempe whispered.
"Yeah?" I was acutely aware of her use of my first name.
I'm afraid…I'm afraid of being alone." I pulled back and looked at her, wiping a tear away with the pad of my thumb.
"You're not alone, Temperance." I promised. "I'm right here with you."
"You're not with me when I wake up at 2:30 in the morning terrified that I'll make some atrocious error and end up with someone like Will."
"Really?" I croaked out. She nodded, new tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill even though they wouldn't be able to wash away her pain or sadness.
I couldn't believe that this beautiful, strong, intelligent woman could be so scared of herself- and I couldn't believe I'd never known. How many times had she needed comfort while I'd been sleeping unawares? I was disgusted with myself.
"I will be tonight." I resolved to her. "You are the most intelligent, strong, and competent women I know, and I won't let you convince yourself otherwise. Tonight, when you're afraid, I'll be right nest to you."
Tempe's eyes were wide.
"Booth, I…" Maybe she was going to refuse, to close me down, or maybe she was going to let me care for her. I couldn't tell. In that instant, my fear clouded my ability to read her. So, in case she was going to reject my offer, I didn't let her finish.
"I'm your partner. Let me be there for you."
Brennan's POV
I should have said no, but I couldn't find my voice. And so, in a very uncharacteristic move on my part, I let Booth guide me down to his SUV. His hand on the small of my back both warmed me and sapped both my will and strength to argue.
Why had I told him that, anyway? Yes it's true, but that doesn't mean I need to share that information. It must have been brought about by the stress and fear by once more completely failing to recognize the truth about people. But I've wanted to tell Booth for weeks. What if I've come to rely on him too much?
Since the earliest moments of our partnership, Booth has been able to evoke feelings in me in truly prodigious proportions, which no one else has been able to approach. That scares me. This is why I've distanced myself from my emotions for him as much as possible .I was thrilled when I realized that Booth is sleeping with Cam, because maybe the pin will help me separate myself from him, dim these feelings.
And then he goes and makes this glorious gesture, and I sense my grip on detachment slip. I'm sitting in the passenger seat of his SUV, where I am very accustomed to sit. I think back to his words the last time we were in this position. Does he really think of me as one of the guys? Does he know that when Will kissed me, I imagined it was Booth's lips against mine and I smiled?
My apartment approached, and I roused myself from my bittersweet reverie. Once again I asked myself shy I had failed to argue him out of this and decide to make the most of it.
I was gratified to note the lack of trembling in my hands as I unlocked the door. Booth held open the door and allowed the door. Booth held open the door and allowed me to precede him into my home.
"Can I offer you a drink, Booth?" I queried. He had sat himself onto my couch."Whatever you're having." He responded, rubbing his hands on his pants. Maybe he was as nervous as I. I handed him a pale blue stem-less wine glass containing a clear almost yellow-ish Riesling. When I sat next to him, our thighs almost touched and I could feel the heat which radiated from him. Booth sipped the wine appreciatively.
"Nice choice," he murmured. I smiled in response.
Silence ensued. And it wasn't the comfortable silence that typically subsists between us. I cleared my throat.
"I saw Angela and Hodgins leaving work together tonight." I informed him. Booth stared at me as though I were some terrifyingly fascinating new strain of influenza. I continued doggedly. "Apparently watching all that video footage scared her so much she's afraid of sleeping alone in her apartment."
Booth finally managed to put voice to his thoughts.
"I know something's not right when you are gossiping about your coworkers." He remarked.
"I wasn't gossiping." I declared. "I was just informing you how irrational this case made everyone." Booth just smirked. I gave up.
"I'm sorry," I told him. "It's just that there seems to be a rhinoceros in the room."
For a moment, Booth looked confused, than he grinned.
"Elephant, Bones. There's an elephant in the room."
"Oh." Once again my infamous people skills had embarrassed me. Will's comment arose to the forefront of my consciousness, and I found myself blurting out.
"He said my social skills were fine." I informed my partner. "Will did." I explained realizing Booth couldn't know who I meant by "he." Booth nodded thoughtfully, watching my face.
"Well, than, he was right about one thing."
"He killed his brother."
"Even murderers are right sometimes, Bones." He said softly. "No one who knows you can find them lacking."
"Yet you often have to keep me from saying the wrong thing." My voice and face betrayed my confusion and skepticism.
"That's because they don't know you, Bones. Not because there's anything there's anything wrong with you."
For the second time that night I found myself smiling in response to his kindness. This time was more significant, though, than his approval of my wine selection.
Booth's POV
The silence which then descended was more relaxed. Friendly. We chatted about Parker's latest misadventures and why Zack and Hodgins so enjoyed attacking rectangular prisms of clay
It was 11:30 when Bones, yawning every fifth word, decided to retire. I asked her where she would like me to bunk for the night and was utterly astonished when she led me to her bedroom.
"Even if you're just in the other room," she explained, "I'll still wake up alone. I don't want to me alone tonight." I wasn't about to refuse. I can control myself.
Bones' bedroom is painted in cool mint green with a dark, almost ever-green bed spread and cream sheets. All the furniture is cherry wood. Tasteful and not overtly ornamented- everything in there had a practical purpose and it was arranged so it was most effecting.
I lay stiffly next to her in my undershirt and boxers. I was afraid of bumping into her, of crowding her and she seemed just as tense. Eventually, though, the alcohol (not that she'd had much, just two glasses over three hours) and the emotional drain combined to drag her into sleep. She slowly softened next to me. Several minutes passed and I had almost fallen asleep myself she I felt her shift and throw an arm across my torso. Her head now lay on my shoulder and upper chest, in the hollow beneath my arm. I could feel the softness of her breasts against my side, and her hair tickled my chin, the smell of her shampoo invaded my nostrils. I relaxed not just because of the lavender mixed with the soap, but because I was again holding Bones, and this time she had been the one to initiate it. Even if it was only in her sleep. I slipped my arms around her frame, gently cradling her, and, feeling complete contentment, I joined her in Dreamland.