Shades of Scar

Rai

Close your lovely eyes again. You feel the tears begin to burn your eyes, as pink hair covers your face. "Why? Why the hell would you do this to me?" Thoughts run through your mind but you can't move. You can hardly breath. Nothing seems real anymore. Just the gorgeous rain pouring around you like a song of mourning. And of course this lonesome feeling. But wouldn't anyone feel like this? Then again, who else would be sitting alone in a park on a rainy night? Only you.

You remember the fight clearly. In your pocket you feel the cold ring. It was meant for Yuki. The words Aishiteru Eiri engraved into it beautifully. You wanted to give it to him, but only got the usual cold response.

"Get the hell out. I don't need you, brat." Those words echo in your mind like an endless chant. All he wanted was silence. You couldn't even do that right. Why? Because you're stupid. You're pathetic. He just never realized it. He never seemed to realize how much better off he was without you. Or better yet - he did. You didn't. He never wanted you. You wanted him. He never loved you. You loved him. And now do you see where that's gotten you? Do you realize now how much pain you're going to have to bear to stay with him? Or will you finally give up?

"It's for your own good. You were never meant for each other." Your best friend once spoke those words to you. And you only laughed and ignored his serious gaze. Why? Because then it made no sence to you. But now... Now it meant everything. "You were never meant for each other." It was true, wasn't it? You weren't meant to be happy. You weren't meant to be with him.

Tears pour down faster and faster. "I'm so fucking pathetic." You think, silently. Then you find your voice. "I'm so fucking pathetic." You whisper.

You feel the rain begin to pour faster - harder.

"Yuki..." You whisper, more strawberry hair covering your blurry vision. "I need you to live."

It was true. You do need him. Because without him you're nothing. You can't breath without his scent. You can't think without his insults. You can't live without him. But now he's gone. He doesn't want you anymore. "I was probably just a cheap whore." You think. Why couldn't you just make him love you? It seemed so easy when he did it. Why can't you just be anything besides worthless? You're nothing.

"I'm nothing. I'm just worthless anyway. He doesn't need me." You mumble to yourself.

Suddenly, the water isn't hitting you anymore. You turn, hoping beyond hope to see your lover, but you see someone else instead. They seem familiar in your mind, but something won't click. Who is this? Why are they here?

---

You curse yourself under your breath. You light another cigarette. You really should go after him. You know very well that he has no where to go. Hiro was out of the country. There was no where else for the pink haired wonder to go. Which only meant he was out there. "Please, Yuki! I just want to talk to you for a second! It's important!" What had he wanted? What was so important?

You grab your coat and your keys. "I'm not fucking sitting around here." You think, putting your cigarette out in an ashtray. "Dammit, Shuichi, you better not have gone far."

---

You look around. You weren't at the park anymore. Instead you find yourself in some cheap hotel room, laying on a soiled bed. "What the hell happened?" You ask yourself, silently.

"Ah, you finally decide to join me. Hello, Shindou." Icy words tell you.

You look up to see someone familiar. "Oh! It's Aizawa-kun from that other band." You think. "Aizawa-kun?" You ask.

"So you recognize me. Good." He tells you, going to the door to let two other people enter.

"What's going on?" You ask.

"We were just going to have some fun with you." Aizawa tells you, a maliscious look in his eyes.

"What?" You ask, imediantly getting off of the bed.

"Oh come on. You're going to let us do it, Shindou." He tells you, smiling coldly.

"Why the hell would I do that?" You scream, now almost shivering in fright.

"Because if you don't, I'll let the whole press know about you and that Eiri Yuki. Of course, then I would have to tell them about how he's also a wonderful murderer." He tells you.

"Oh shit." You think. "I can't let him do that...but that means..."

"So, what's the choice, Shindou?" Aizawa's friends began to move towards you.

You sigh. They already know your choice. They know you would never let anyone soil Yuki's name. Even if that meant... "Let's just get this over with." You say simply.

"You know very well that, if you let us do this, your dear Yuki will think that you've cheated on him. It would be over between you two." Aizawa smiles steely. He's enjoying every moment of this and you know it. But you also know you can't betray Yuki. You feel the tears from before begin to make another appearance.

Suddenly, you feel yourself being pushed onto the bed violently. "I'm sorry, Yuki." You think to yourself, as your clothes are stripped from you.

---

You open the door to see a man with white hair standing before you, looking every bit troubled. "Exscuse me." You say, simply, walking by him to the elevator.

"Wait!" He calls you back. "Um... Are you Eiri Yuki?" He asks.

"Does this have a point?" You ask him coldly.

"Um... Then you're Shuichi Shindou's lover right?" He asks, slowly.

"I have somewhere to be, you know." You reply.

"Yeah, I do know that. Here." He hands you a slip of paper. "This is the room number to the hotel that Shuichi-kun and Taki are in."

"Why the hell are Shuichi and this...Taki in a hotel together?" You ask, your cool facade never changing. "That whore's cheating on me?"

"Taki Aizawa from my band is planning on raping Shuichi tonight, to make him lose his will to sing. He's using you as the bait. It's a sick thing to do, so I had to stop it." The blond tells you.

"What..?" You don't even give the boy a second glance and find yourself in your car in a matter of seconds.

---

You can't help but sob as each person has their turn with you. You know that once this is over, Yuki will hate you. He'll drop you without a second thought. He'll think you're a whore. You know very well that this is the end of everything. Once Yuki's gone, so is your singing career. He's the only thing that keeps you sane. Once he's gone, so are you.

You hear a faint click. Are they taking pictures too? What the hell are they getting out of this? Who could be so sick and so twisted to do this?

The man straddling you yells out in release. You scream in pain. He pulls himself out of you, before getting up and letting Aizawa have another turn.

Then another faint noise stops everything.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Someone's hitting the door, quite hard. "Are there others too?" You think.

"Guys, keep quiet." Aizawa tells the others, stepping away from you to answer the door. "Yes?"

Suddenly, you hear a voice that you once loved to hear. Now it was the worst thing you could have hoped for.

"Where is Shuichi?" Yuki asks angrily from the door.

"You've got the wrong room." Aizawa says, starting to close the door. He's soon laying face down on the floor.

You watch Yuki enter the trashed room and feel new sobs begin. He's immediatly at your side.

"Yuki... I-I... I'm sorry. I..." You fell his finger place itself on your lips and you silence yourself.

"Put your clothes on. We're leaving." Yuki tells you.

You nod and look around for your clothes, putting them on. You watch Yuki go back to Aizawa, who was now standing at the door. He's obviously scared. You then notice that the other two are gone. "When did they leave?" You ask yourself.

"So, Aizawa-kun, did you like my Shuichi? Have I trained him well?" Yuki asks, punching the wall right next to Aizawa's head.

"I..." Aizawa struggles to breath, as Yuki's other hand finds itself around his throaght.

Yuki lifts him from the ground, before effectively punching him in the gut. Aizawa falls to the ground, blood making its way to his mouth.

"Y-Yuki!" You yell to your lover. "Please...stop... Let's..Let's go home." You mumble, walking to Yuki and wrapping your arms around him. "Please..."

Yuki nods and lifts you up. You lean your head on his shoulder, as he carries you to his car.

---

You place your lover in the passenger seat, buckling him up. You lean down and give him a soft, chaste kiss. You begin to move away, when his hand grabs yours.

"Yuki... I'm sorry... I didn't mean for you-" You don't let him finish.

"Shuichi stop." You tell him firmly, kneeling back down to him. "I know what was going on, alright. I was going out to find you, and a kid in his band told me what was going on. I came here immediatly. I... I..." You can't seem to find the right words. You want so bad to apologize to him, but you can't.

Then he smiles. "Ok then. I was afraid you... I didn't want you to think I was cheating on you... Because I love you and it would kill me to be without you." He mumbles, tears beginning to form from the mear thought of being without you.

"You will never be without me, Shu. I'll always be here. Because, guess what, brat? I need you too." You tell him, giving him a kiss to his forehead. "Now, let's get you home."

You successfully seat yourself into the driver's side and start the car. You listen to Shuichi's mumbled singing all the way home and realize something. What would have happened if the blond hadn't shown up? Would you have lost your pink-haired lover for good? Would he have done something stupid after being both kicked out and then violently raped?

You park the car and carry your lover to the door, opening it easily. "Stay here, Shu." You tell him, laying him on the bed, in your bedroom. You go to the washroom and start the bath.

---

You cuddle into the warm blankets and listen to your lover's voice in the other room. He's talking to Tohma-san, telling him what happened, telling him to deal with Aizawa. You hear Yuki thank him and hang up, before joining you in the bedroom.

"You shouldn't be awake, brat." He tells you and you smile to him.

"I know, but I wanted to lay with you." You tell him, smile still present.

"Is that so?" He asks, laying beside of you.

You immediatly cling to his shirt, burrying your face in his chest. "Yep."

"Hey, Shu?" He asks you suddenly.

You look up to him. "Hm?"

"Something's been bothering me for a little while now. What was it that you needed to tell me yesterday? You said it was important?" He asks and you perk up at his words.

"Oh! Can you do me a favor?" You ask him. "Look into the pockets of those pants I was wearing yesterday and get the ring out for me ok?"

He gets up silently and leaves the room, coming back with the ring. "Here." He tells you.

You sit up and say in a soft voice, "Yuki, do you love me?"

"You already know the answer to that." He tells you, simply.

"Then... Will you marry me?" You hold the ring out in you palm.

His eyes widen in suprise and then a loving look covers his face. "Of course," he tells you, taking the ring. His eyes scan the the ring, then stop on the letters. "I love you, too, brat." He tells you with a light kiss.