A Typical Hey Arnold! Episode
By: 1000th Ghost
Helga: Hey Arnold! *repeats about thirty million times* Move it football head! Hey Arnold!
Arnold: I have a football shaped head, I'm optimistic about everything, I'm officially the densest person this side of the planet Neptune, and I wear a skirt!
Gerald: I have a voice that could belong to a fifty year old, and my hair is twice the height of me!
Helga: I'm a bully, wear pink, am unnaturally obsessed with Arnold, and have gravity defying pigtails!
Phoebe: I am smart, yet I seem unable to think for myself! (insert verb)ing!
Lila: I am ever so evil and ever so pretend that I'm ever so sweet and I ever so try to destroy Arnold and Helga's relationship! Ever so! Ever so! Um…ever so!
Hey Arnold Fans: AHH! SOMEBOBY SHUT HER UP!
Arnold: *turns corner*
Helga: *turns corner*
Arnold: We're going to crash into each other, aren't we?
Helga: Probably.
Hey Arnold Fans: Five, four, three, two, one…
Arnold and Helga: *crash*
Hey Arnold Fans: Yep! Right on schedule!
Arnold: So…this time, when I say I'm sorry, will you actually say something nice?
Helga: No.
Arnold: I didn't think so.
Some random kid: Oh no! There is a problem!
Everyone else: Oh no! A problem! We're doomed!
Lila: Ever so!
Arnold: Don't worry everyone! If we all work together and believe in ourselves, then not only will we sound really corny, but the problem will be solved!
Helga: That will never work! You're so stupid!
Arnold: Yes it will!
Helga: *sigh* Oh Arnold, my love! I suppose that I'll have to think of an alternate plan, since yours will never work! I will now say a lot of mushy romantic junk about how wonderful you are!
Brainy: *wheeze*
Helga: *punch*
Brainy: *faint*
Arnold: Let's do some plan that sounds complicated, but really just involves talking things over!
Kids: Um…what?
Lila: Ever so!
Hey Arnold Fans: AHHH!
Helga: *loses some important item that will give away her secret*
Some important item that will give away her secret: *for reasons unknown, ends up in Arnold's house*
Helga: *scream* The world is going to end!
Arnold: *finds some important item that will give away her secret* Ooh! What's this? I bet it's Lila's!
Lila: Ever so!
Helga: *sneaks into Arnold's house by one of many dangerous and highly impossible methods* I'm in his room! For the umpteenth time! But I'll pretend like I've never been here before!
Some important item that will give away her secret: Here I am! Take me!
Arnold: I am now coming up the stairs! You better hide, or I'll kill you!
Reader: Huh?
Arnold: Um…I mean, find you!
Some important item that will give away her secret: Take me you idiot! Too late.
Helga: *gasp* *hides*
Arnold: Well, it's four o'clock! Time for bed!
Helga: Oh no! You mean I have to sleep in his room without being noticed again?
Hey Arnold Fans: Hey! I've seen about five other episodes where that happens! What a coincidence!
Helga: Good thing I have a magical cell phone that always appears right when I need it! *calls Phoebe* Phoebe, call my pathetic excuse for a mother, and tell her I'm sleeping over at your house for a month. And then forget you did.
Phoebe: Forgetting! I'm so tired of saying that.
Hey Arnold Fans: We're so tired of hearing it.
Helga: Yay! Now I can watch Arnold sleep and forget for the time being that I still have to get some important item that will give away my secret back!
Alarm Clock: Don't you wish I could just beep or something?
Arnold: Oh boy! A brand new day! Let's all be happy, because today is a day for helping others and learning new things!
Helga: Why is his stupid floor so darn hard?
Arnold: Let's not forget to take some important item that will give away someone's secret to school and rub it in the face of everyone that I have a secret admirer and they don't!
Helga: So…I did all this for nothing?
Hey Arnold Fans: If this is anything like the other episodes we've seen, then yes!
Arnold: Look everyone! Some important item that will give away someone's secret!
Everyone: Ooh! Ah!
Lila: Ever so!
Arnold: Now let's find out whose secret it is and what the secret is!
Everyone: Um…what?
Lila: Ever so!
Hey Arnold Fans: SHUT UP!
Helga: Gimme! *takes some important item that will give away her secret*
Everyone: Aaaaaaaawe…
Lila: Ever so!
Arnold: What did you do that for?
Helga: Um…I felt like ruining your day?
Arnold: Works for me!
Kids: Uh oh! We still have a problem!
Lila: Ever so!
Arnold: Don't worry! I'll fix it! *tries to fix it and fails*
Helga: Amateur. *fixes it*
Kids: Yay! Um…what?
Lila: Ever so!
Hey Arnold Fans: *points gun at head* I'm warning you. If she doesn't shut up…
Arnold: Wow Helga! That was so nice of you! *hugs*
Helga: *sigh* If only I could stay like this forever! But…I can't! Then my overly guarded secret would be exposed… *pushes him away* Don't ever touch me again! At least…not till the next episode.
Arnold: Why'd you help me?
Helga: Well…um…because…
Arnold: Works for me!
Helga: Dense.
Arnold: What's that supposed to mean?
Helga: Dense.
Arnold: Whatever you say Helga.
Helga: *sigh*
Craig Bartlett: Write to Nick! It's our only hope! AHHH!