Disclaimer: The story is mine, the Doctor and Amy are not. Herr Fluffermeister, aka Doc the rabbit, is a friend of mine, and I use his likeness and name with permission (at least, he's never said anything against it...)
It started with a perfectly innocent conversation about Herr Fluffermeister's society. It ended with a bruised abdomen, an aching shoulder, and a bleeding ankle. But that's getting ahead of the story. Let us rewind to when Herr Fluffermeister was helping the Doctor with repairs.
The rabbit was small enough to get into the tight spaces that the Doctor had to struggle to even reach, let alone perform maintenance. Amy had been shocked to learn that Doc was actually quite competent in spaceship repairs.
"I'm more than just an intelligent pet rabbit," said Doc as he backed out of a small cranny, dragging the sonic screwdriver along with him. "Before coming to Earth, I was actually one of the leading scientific advisors for my government. That's how I first met this one." He flicked an ear in the Doctor's direction. "Doctor," he said, turning his attention from Amy to the Time Lord, "it won't work. I can't operate your screwdriver. Are you sure you don't have anything mouth or foot operated?"
"I already checked. I'm sorry. It's not like I would use anything like that."
"Damn."
"I'm sorry," interrupted Amy. "What are we talking about?" she asked looking back and forth between the two.
"I don't have thumbs," said Doc. "I can't use most things that require them," he added somewhat bitterly. "I imagine they are quite useful body parts."
"A fascinating question," the Doctor jumped in.
"I'm sorry," said Amy. "What is?"
"How does Herr Fluffermeister use tools without thumbs?"
"I didn't ask…"
"No, but you were going to." The Doctor grinned.
Amy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said. "Let's hear your answer."
"They use foot pedals and their teeth!" The Doctor flashed his own teeth in a smile then clicked them together twice. He paused for thought. "Could you imagine if I had to pilot the TARDIS without thumbs?" he asked.
"No…" said Amy hesitantly.
"Nor can I," said the Doctor.
"Doctor, don't even think it!" snapped Fluffermeister.
Amy glanced at the rabbit in confusion. "Let's try it!" shouted the Doctor.
"What?" asked Amy, alarmed. Doc, for his part, did the rabbit equivalent of a facepalm: he thumped the ground. Despite Amy and Doc's advice to the contrary, moments later, the Doctor was biting at his controls and clumsily slapping at them with his fingers.
Needless to say, the TARDIS is not meant to be flown via teeth and fingertips, and she protested this treatment quite strenuously. Amy was violently flung to one side of the room. Hastily, she grabbed for the banister. Holding on tight, she was flipped, slammed, and otherwise treated poorly as the TARDIS spun uncontrollably. (Somehow, the Doctor was not thrown about. Perhaps he and Fluffermeister had finally gotten the steering grav locks fixed…) For the most part, though, Amy was stable.
Doc was less lucky. Having no thumbs to hold on with, and being much smaller and thus lacking momentum, he was flung all around the room. At one point, he slammed into the banister next to Amy. She grabbed him and with one hand, brought him against her body. The TARDIS then flipped again. Amy managed to keep hold of Doc, but stabilized by only one hand, she was tossed roughly into the guardrail. Unfortunately for Doc, his shoulder was the first to his the rail. He yelped in pain. "Sorry, sorry!" shouted Amy, trying to jostle him into a safer position. The two passengers looked over to where the Doctor was still trying to pilot the TARDIS the rabbit way, completely oblivious to the chaos in the room.
"Alright, enough is enough," snapped Doc. "Amy, when I say so, let go of me!" He maneuvered himself so that he was crouched on her torso. "Release!" he shouted. Amy let go, and Doc slammed his powerful hind legs into her. With a brief apology towards the now gasping Amy, Doc launched himself at the Doctor. His aim was slightly off, and instead of hitting the Time Lord in the face, he got wrapped around his legs instead.
Not to let any opportunity go to waste, Doc scrambled around until he could reach something worth biting. In this case, it was an ankle. Doc sunk his teeth deep into the Doctor's flesh. "Ahhh!" shouted the Doctor.
"Stop your infernal driving!" yelled Doc. As soon as the Doctor paused, whether in pain or in surprise, the TARDIS righted herself.
It was generally agreed after that, that those with thumbs should use them, and any attempt to steer the TARDIS improperly should and would result in a complete lock down of the controls.
A/N: this has been in my computer for ages! I finally finished it, cleaned it up a bit, and posted it. Yay!
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