Disclaimer: I do not own Viewfinder.
Warnings: Smex, Angst, Character Death. (Rated R.)
Summary: Words unsaid can leave a person hollow.
Notes: I planned to write an one-shot of smex, well it turned out a little different from what I planned. This can be a little confusing. Very Angst at the very end. Hope you enjoy it and please tell me what you think.
As he lies in the bed, Akihito swears something isn't right. Instead of opening his hazel orbs to figure it out, he uses his other senses. When he hears nothing but the harsh rain hitting against the glass, he thinks that could be nothing because his nightmare never makes any noise of warning for him.
Shit! There is something miss place here. Why can't I figure it out?
When his skin feels the coldness, the photographer shudders to realize he is nude. While pulling his arms, he curses out loud, "He tied me up, damn bastard."
A strong cold voice responds, "Glad to see you are awake. I was getting bored watching you sleep when we could be doing something more exciting."
Scowling at the direction of the voice, Akihito responds, "I don't find it exciting."
That's right. This is against my will. I don't want it.
As he hardens his heart, the photographer mumbles, "I don't want this. I never did, you sick old pervert." When the bed dips from the older man's body weight, googebumps run along his entire body. No matter how he tries to ignore the feelings within his body, it never works.
Running his strong hand down against Akihito's flush body, Asami whispers into the other's ear, "This tells me different. You want this and you enjoy every minute of it."
As he shakes his head to deny the truth of those words, Akihito bites his lip to stop the moans from slipping out. There's no way the yakuza is right.
He brainwashed me. He made me feel like this for him. It's his fault.
Why can't he stop these feelings? Even if the truth is there, the photographer refuses to let the older man inside of his heart. If he does, then he will fall into hell itself. There will be nothing to stop him from breaking apart and left in the cold. It isn't him to sleep with someone unemotional. But this man is someone he can't let himself fall for. When he feels the warm tongue, slide over his heated skin, Akihito slips out a small moan of pleasure.
Stop! No! I can't! This isn't right!
As he kisses up the soft pale thighs, Asami whispers between the kisses, "You want this. You need this. You are mine forever."
When a warmth wet engulfs his hard cock, Akihito can't stop his hips from buckling to gain more of that talented mouth and the moan of the one who is giving him this pleasure, "Asamiiii." As he feels the heat race through his body, he screams out when Asami's tongue flicks over the slit. His body is shaking from need and his mind is dulling to nothing but this ecstasy pumping into him. Before he gains the relief he so needs, the warmth is gone and he opens his eyes to stare into those cold golden orbs.
With a hard kiss to those soft thin lips, the yakuza states, "Mine. Only mine."
Jumping up in the bed, Akihito takes deep breaths to calm his racing heart. Why did he dream of something like that? It felt so real. As he flops back down onto the hard uncomfortable bed, he curses to know his cock is hard. When did he start to crave the older man to even dream about having hot sex with Asami?
Shit. Damn that man.
When he looks at the clock, it reads almost one in the morning. Running his hand through his damp brown locks, he sighs out, "Still at the club knowing the old bastard." As the need of having some hot rough sex with the yakuza runs through him, Akihito stands up and starts to get ready to go to Club Sion.
This feels like I'm a slut for Asami, a drug to fix my addiction.
Those reasons don't settle for the young man but he pushes other thoughts in the back of his mind. He isn't about to think about those emotions. As he slips on some jeans and a T-shirt, he grabs the apartment keys and put on his shoes. This is going to be a long night for him. Why did he have to dream about sex?
I should turn back now and do this myself.
Even with those words ringing through his head, Akihito continues to walk down the streets. When he stops in front of the famous club, he gulps to see all the well-dressed people standing there to get in. How can he gain entrance when he looks like a rat that crawled out of the alley? Taking a deep breath, he is glad at least one of the guards standing there, knows who he is. As he walks in front of all the people to hear them mumble loudly about his looks, the photographer stares at the goons and asks, "Can I see Asami?"
Before the new bodyguard can make a smart remark, Akira speaks up, "This way."
While following Akira inside, Akihito can't believe it was that easy. Maybe the yakuza told them to find him tonight anyway. As he feels the stares at him, he really is uncomfortable in this place. Why did he come here again? That's right. He needed relief and only one man can give him that. Or more like he is dead meat if he goes to someone else. When he stands in front of the office door, the photographer feels the googebumps once again.
Akira enters and replies, "Asami-sama, the brat is here."
Standing at the door way, Akihito wants to growl out that he isn't a brat but he keeps his mouth shut. As Akira comes back out and so called gently push him inside, he stares into those piercing orbs that freeze him in place. When he hears the door shut, he jumps slightly. Why did he have to come?
With a raised eyebrow, Asami asks, "What brings you here, Akihito?"
As he moves his weight to one foot to another, the photographer stutters, "Well . . . hmm . . . I want it."
While a smirk forms on his lips, the yakuza questions, "Want what?"
Sending his best glare at the older man, Akihito growls out, "You know what I'm talking about."
Finding this more amusing than anything else, Asami taunts, "I have no idea what you are talking about. I'm can't read your mind. So, spill."
After lowing his head to hide the blush forming on his cheeks, the photographer mumbles, "I want . . . I want sex." As he feels those golden orbs on him, he shifts his weight again to stop all these insane emotions running through his body.
Run. Run, damnit. You will never be able to escape if you stay.
His mind keeps repeating those words but Akihito doesn't move an inch from the spot. When he takes the chance and look up, he regrets it right away. The older man is looking at him like he has lost his mind.
Asami speaks up, "You could have done that yourself." Oh, he so enjoys teasing his younger lover. It must have been a lot to bring Akihito to this state for the younger man to come here for him. As he tilts his head, he asks, "What is wrong, Akihito?"
While his hands ball into fists, Akihito snaps out, "Damnit! I can't!" Why can't they just act normal with each other? When the older man stands up, he backs up right into the door.
Shit! I should leave now.
As he feels the strong body press against him, all thoughts leave the photographer's mind. His body reacts so quickly to the older man and he can't figure out why. When he feels the warm breath against his ear, Akihito shudders. Every time this man comes close to him, he gets drunk off of the yakuza.
When he grabs his lover's groin through the fabric, Asami asks in a purring voice near the other's ear, "Why so hard, Akihito? Did you miss my touch that much?"
Before he could say a smart remark, Akihito grabs the well-tone shoulders to keep himself standing and moans, "Asami." As the yakuza continues to rub him in all the right ways, he feels that cumming like this would be so perfect.
Pulling away from the younger man, Asami orders, "Show me."
Blinking his eyes to over come the fireworks and figure out the words said to him, Akihito responds, "Huh?"
As he sits down on the leather couch, the yakuza repeats himself, "Show me how much you want me to take you."
While his face heats up from embarrassment and anger, Akihito responds, "You. You." There aren't any more words he can say. After all, it was him to come here for some sex. As he tries to figure out what would get the older man to give him what he wants, the photographer slowly moves to Asami. Taking off his T-shirt to show off his pale skin, he shivers from the coldness nipping at his skin. When he notices his nipples hardening, his face turns into an even darker shade of red.
Why am I doing this? I can settle my own needs.
Of course, the photographer doesn't believe his own words. No one can settle his needs like the older man can. As he feels those cold golden orbs watching his every move, Akihito smirks to himself and sits right on Asami's lap. When he feels the hard flesh under the suit pants, he groans to know that will be inside of him.
Asami responds, "Nice try but you got to be more creative, Akihito."
While ideas of what the yakuza likes, Akihito bites his lip in thought. What can he do to get the other man to fuck him here and now? As he watches the half smirk form onto the yakuza's lips, the photographer blurts out, "I'll do whatever you want." What did he just do? This is sealing his fate for the entire night and maybe even for the morning.
The yakuza taunts, "Oh, anything I want." When his lover nods his head nervously, he orders, "Strip."
As he stands up, the photographer tries to unbuckle his belt with his lover giving him those cold eyes. When the belt is pulled out of the jeans, he quickly takes off the rest of his clothes. While standing in front of the cold man naked, Akihito curses himself for being this hard up for Asami.
Who else could I be hard up for? He made me like this. I can't be with anyone else.
While watching the younger man move his weight from foot to foot, Asami grabs the belt from the floor and stands up. When the photographer takes a step back with a look of panic, he reminds the other, "Anything I want, you said." At last he has his pet here. It has been a long few weeks on the business trip and he was ready to have his guards drag the younger man here, but Akihito came on his own.
Gulping down the lump in his throat, Akihito knows tonight is going to be rough for him. As he watches the older man take off his suit jacket, he can't stop himself from wanting to see more of the strong man. The tan skin under that white shirt can drive him nuts. While licking his lips hungry for Asami, he asks nervously, "What do you want me to do?"
Without answering, Asami grabs the photographer within his strong arms and uses the belt to tie Akihito's wrists behind his back. As he licks at the neck up to the ear, he whispers, "I want to see your control. No begging, Akihito."
His mind is screaming at him that he has no control when it concerns this man. As he is pulled down to sit back on the yakuza's lap, he shakes with need. How is it that he becomes puddy when it concerns this dangerous man?
As he entire body jolts awake, Akihito lays in the large comfortable bed and sighs out into the empty room, "This fucking sucks big time." How long has it been? When he hears the door open, he bolts out of the bed and runs into the other room to be disappointed to see Akira standing there with a raised eyebrow at him. With a groan, the photographer asks, "When is Asami coming back?"
Akira replies with a question of his own, "How did you get into Asami-sama's penthouse?"
Ignoring the question since he isn't going to tell one of Asami's goons how resourceful he can be, the photographer mumbles, "When is asshole coming home?" It has been already a month since the older man left and he was sure he could handle without the yakuza. This of course was a lie. Only one week into being alone, Akihito started to have dreams about the dangerous man and missed Asami.
Still wondering how some punk got inside his boss' home, Akira answers, "He just called saying he should be back in a few." As he over looks the young man, he asks once again, "How did you get in here?"
Before he could lie through his teeth, the yakuza walks in to only stare at them both. As he blushes, Akihito doesn't know how to get out of this one. Why did he have to be in Asami's home? Did he miss the older man that much to break into the penthouse?
As he looks between his bodyguard and Akihito, Asami asks, "What is he doing here?"
Akira responds, "He was here when I entered, boss."
When he stares at his lover, the yakuza asks, "Why are you here?"
Those words sound so cold and it makes the photographer shiver from the intense stare. While squirming under those watchful orbs, he blushes and stutters, "Hmm . . . I . . . I . . . wanted to know when you were coming back." Like hell will he tell the older man that he couldn't stop thinking about him. Of course, by that look Akihito is receiving, he believes Asami already know.
After handing Akira a folder, Asami replies, "We'll talk tomorrow." When his bodyguard nods and leaves, he walks slowly toward the younger man, who is backing up into a wall. With a tilt of his head, he teases, "Missing me, my kitten." Those hazel orbs light up with a fire that he always enjoys to see on this man. As he smirks, he pushes the other into the wall and kisses him hard.
While being kissed so hot, Akihito can't help it but moan into the powerful kiss. As he feels those fingers run up his shirt in quick movements, he thinks, "He missed me too." This has the young photographer confused and hopeful.
No. Don't let this happen. He doesn't care for me other than being his sex toy.
So, once again, the photographer hardens his heart from breaking into pieces. How can he let this continue when all it does is making him fall deeper? Then again, he is already in deep and no way to escape. As he feels the cold air nip at his skin, Akihito wonders when the older man took off his shirt but Asami knows how to distract him. When those lips move over his neck, his entire body lights up on fire.
As he strips the pants off the younger man, Asami teases, "You have been waiting for this."
Akihito pants out, "N-no."
Yes, I have, but what I have been waiting for is something you won't give me.
Those words ring hollow inside of him. As those fingers run all over his body making him have googebumps and a burning sensation, Akihito moans little pleasing sounds. When he feels the soft bed below him and Asami's body over him, he stares into golden eyes. Before he can utter a word, those demanding lips crush onto his, kissing him hard and marking him.
After making sure to prepare the photographer, Asami thrusts hard and deep. Those inner muscles tighten around him almost like the younger man refusing to release him. Maybe somewhere inside of his cold soul, there is a part that doesn't want to be released.
Keeping his eyes open, Akihito watches those golden orbs flicker back and forth from a cold front and pleasure. As he buckles his hips to match the fierce pace, he moans out, "Asami. Asami. Oh gods, Asami." When he feels a strong hand over his length, his body jumps from the intense pleasure racing through his body and he cums with a name rolling off his lips, "Asami."
As the muscles tighten almost painfully around his cock, Asami grunts out while releasing inside his lover, "Akihito."
When he starts to drift off, Akihito smiles happily for a long time. Why is he happy?
Did he make a sound in the middle of sex? Did he just call out my name?
While tears roll down his face for some reason, the photographer has nothing to say at the moment.
A male's voice asks in a concern voice, "Takaba-sensei, is everything all right?"
Shaken out of his thoughts, Akihito turns to stare at a young man giving him a worried look. As he composes himself, he answers, "Everything is fine." With a kind smile, he retorts, "Thanks for asking though." After saying those words, Akihito takes his leave from his class room. When did he decide to become a teacher?
When those words refused to be brought into the open.
As his feet take him to a place he has visited every night, Akihito walks up the long path where everything lies. When he notices a figure standing there, he whispers, "I thought you refused to come here." The other doesn't answer him at all but stare at him. Standing in front of a stone, he mumbles, "I was dreaming. The sweetest dreams anyone could have. Or maybe I have lost my mind." Still no response comes and the photographer retorts without turning around, "Still the same as I can see." While kneeling down onto the ground, he sobs out, "If only I could have told you my words, maybe you would have remained."
I couldn't bring myself to let it all go and for that reason I lost my soul that night.
How hollow that thought sounds? As more tears roll down his face, Akihito trances the name on the grave and speaks it like a god, "Asami Ryuichi." When he turns to face the standing man, he asks, "Can I lie here now too? Have I not suffered enough?" No response comes to him. No answers to his questions. With a bitter smile, Akihito mumbles, "I can never be forgiven for my sin."
The sin of killing the one who held onto my soul.
While the harsh winds blow, Akihito yells, "Answer me!" As he lowers his head against the cold rough stone, he whispers, "I killed you because I was a fool. I ran from you and hide everything."
How could you, a man so cold and cruel, say those words so easy? You said what I wanted from you. You said, 'I love you'. Even with you dying in my arms, I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell you.
With his vision clouding from the over flowing tears, Akihito whispers, "I'm so sorry, Asami. Even now I can't bring myself to say those words." When he turns to look up at the man, he gives a soft smile to only receive golden orbs glaring down at him. Pulling a letter out of his pocket and laying it down on the ground, he mumbles to nothing but thin air, "I'm no value to anyone." As he stands up, he continues to speak, "Good-bye for now."
As he looks up, the young student from Akihito's class asks, "Who were you talking to, Takaba-sensei?"
Turning his face away from those orbs that stare at him with readable emotions, Akihito responds, "An old friend who is long gone." When he looks to his student, he asks a question that has always bothered him, "Who got you into photography?"
With a small smile appearing onto his lips, Riichi answers, "My father did. He talked about it a lot. I doubt he was into it but I think someone close to him was."
While staring straight into readable golden eyes, Akihito responds, "I'm sure you miss him very much since he is gone."
Blinking his eyes, Riichi asks, "How did you know that my father is dead?"
As he walks past the one who looks so much like his past lover, Akihito answers, "Because I'm the one who killed him ten years ago."
When he grabs the older man's arm, Riichi screams out his question, "What do you mean? You wouldn't do anything like that sensei!"
With a bitter smile, Akihito retorts, "Oh, I think I could. After all I did. Revenge for betrayal can be a strong reason to shoot someone dead. I'm sure you feel it now."
Riichi lets go off the arm and asks, "Why did you kill him? Just answer that question."
Without turning around, Akihito answers, "Because I hated him. I hated his betrayal, but it was my betrayal. If only I told him, then he wouldn't have betrayed me." As he turns around to face the young man, he replies, "Your father's grave is at the top of the hill. It was nice to meet you, Asami Riichi."
After those words, Riichi's teacher walks away. As he blinks his eyes, he runs up the hill to see if it is true. While looking at the name on the grave, he notices the letter and opens it to read it.
Asami,
It has been a while, hasn't it? I dream all the time. The dreams are so real that it makes me wake up in the middle of the night, arching for something I don't have. Sad, isn't it? Yet, I know these dreams are real. After all, they are memories of the times I was with you.
Your son looks like you. His eyes are the same but so readable. I never could read you no matter how hard I try. Maybe it is because I can read him that I can't hate him for how he was brought into this world. I still wonder did you even love his mother? But then again, if you did, does that mean those dying words were false? Did you really mean that you loved me?
Too many questions that I'll never gain the answer to. Oh, well. I have no right to ask anyway. After all, I was the one who killed you. That look in your eyes, I'll never forget. Did you really believe I was in danger? Did you really put yourself out in danger to try and save me? I shot without letting you speak and for that I can never take back. After you told me that you loved me, I was hoping your goons would have hunted me down and killed me. That never happened.
Everything changed after your death. The yakuza that took over was boring as hell. I had no excitement running from them like I did with you. So, I took up a teaching job. Who would have thought? Strange that I would have met your son that way. At first, I thought he came for revenge, the right he has, but that turned out a dead end. Unlucky for me, I guess.
Enough of this boring chit chat. I came to say wait for me, Asami. I'm coming to you. Maybe, just maybe this time I can say those words to you.
Good-bye,
Akihito
After reading those words, Riichi runs down the hill and quickly through the streets. When he bumps into Akira, he quickly states, "You got to take me to an apartment. My sensei is going to kill himself." As Akira gives him a worried look but takes him, he runs up the stairs with the bodyguard following him. When he breaks the door down, he yells, "Don't, Takaba-sensei!"
Akira stares at Akihito with surprise written all over his face. As he pushes Riichi behind him, he asks coldly, "Why are you around here?"
With a sad smile, Akihito answers, "It suits me, doesn't it? A nice place for a murderer to repay for his crimes." Before anyone could move, he points the gun to his head and whispers, "Finally I can join him. I love you Ryuichi."
All that is heard is a loud bang and Riichi screaming. As Akira drags the young man out of the apartment, he feels so empty. The revenge that all of the men felt was taken from them with a sad ending. The following day, he requested from Akihito's parents to let him be buried next to Asami.
Notes: I hope you enjoyed the one-shot. Please tell me what you think.