Yeah, I thought about this for a while now. It's just something I had to do.
I am kinda bashing Family Guy, but I am a fan of the show, so, yeah. If you don't want to read any of the bashing, I recommend you turn away.

I'm planning for this Fanfic to only be three chapters long. Four at most.

Enjoy!

A SpongeFan257 Story

Cartoon Wars II

Plot: The Griffins have finally watched SouthPark's "Cartoon Wars", and they're not too happy. They drive to Coloradoto take their revenge, but the boys have another cartoon by their side. Now outnumbered, the Griffins try to find an ally to take down the SouthParkgang for revenge.

It was a nice day a Quahog. It was a regular day in Quahog. The town's infamous prevent Glenn Quagmire was out and about violating women's personal space around town, and Herbert the Pervert was standing outside James Woods High staring through the windows into the classrooms, gazing on the teenagers inside. But it was the Griffin family that were enjoying themselves the most.

"So now that the kids are home, Peter, what do you wanna do?" Lois asked her husband, who was currently sitting on the couch.

"Well, Family Guy recordings stopped a while ago," Peter began, "So why don't we watch TV?"

"Heya, Dad." Meg exclaimed as she entered the room with Stewie in her arms.

"Hi, sweetie," Peter responded. He wasn't as cruel and abusive to his daughter when the cameras were off, for she played an important part in the family. "We're gonna watch some TV. Wanna join?"

"Sure." She sat Stewie in the nearby chair as she took a spot on the couch. "May we watch SouthPark?"

"SouthPark?" Peter repeated, "What's SouthPark?"

"It's this funny show about four boys going on crazy adventures," Meg explained, "They're called Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. I just got into watching it with Connie, and I'm on the tenth season right now."

"Tenth?" Lois questioned, "How many are there?"

"About eighteen."

"Holy crap!" Peter exclaimed, "How long have they been on the air?"

"Since 1997, I think."

Peter sighed in relief, "That's reasonable I guess. I'm too lazy to watch it from the start, so could ya just put on the DVD?"

Meg nodded, "Sure." She went over to the TV and inserted the DVD into the DVD player.

Peter called Brian and Chris into the room and told them that they were going to watch a new show. Both Griffins waited while Meg got the show on.

"This is two-parter, according to the episode guide." Meg noted.

"Aw, this is gonna be awesome!" Stewie exclaimed as Brian sat beside him.

The episode began to play. Obviously, it was the first part of the double episode.

"STAN!" Randy Marsh cried to his son.

"What? What?" Stan shrugged.

"Get up! Get your shoes on! Gotta get out of here! MOOVE!"

Peter laughed, "I wonder what they're upset about."

"Let's watch." Lois shushed.

The Griffins proceeded to watch the show. Randy had run around town alarming people of a threat, unknown to the Griffins. Everyone in the town had been running around like Randy and proceeded to enter the community center. After everyone in town had entered, they sealed the door shut. Randy was telling everyone that they were there due to the fact that a cartoon was going to show the prophet Muhammad.

"Oh, that's terrible!" Lois spoke up, "What kind of bastard would insult a religious idol?"

"Probably those Simpsons jerks." Peter answered.

"The cartoon that's always pushing buttons with their careless toilet humor! Family Guy!" Randy had answered the question to the town.

"WHAT?!" Chris screamed, "We'd never do that!"

"Why would Family Guyso blatantly insult Muslims?" Sheila had asked.

"Because Family Guy doesn't care who they insult! They only care about their... precious money!" Randy answered almost immediately.

"We don't care just about the money!" Lois countered, "Sure we love it and it's nice to gloat to the Belchers and the Smiths but we do it for the fans!"

"That's not everyone's opinion on us though." Brian added.

"Well I say we go find those South Park sons of bitches and tell them to not insult us!" Peter stated.

"Or better yet," Stewie interjected, "We get our revenge!"

"What are you suggesting?" Lois asked.

"We can use the spare tank from "Hell Comes To Quahog" and take down the South Park boys, who Meg said were the main characters."

"That's a great idea!" Peter beamed. He turned to his daughter, "Where do they live sweetie?"

"Colorado." Meg replied.

"Sweet! Prepare for battle while I get that tank from the weapon department!"

"Shouldn't we watch the rest of the episode before we jump?" Brian questioned.

Peter halted, "I guess, but we still get to take down South Park even if it's good at the end."

A few hours later, the Griffins made their way to Colorado. They were looking around South Park, searching for the four main boys. After watching the whole two-parter, it was easy to say that they had been fairly pissed off, and needed to also look for a new TV. They had complained about how South Park had criticised their writing department as well as cutaways, and were enraged to find that they had also used a long-time ally against them, to their advantage. Looking around, the family was amazed that a show so poor in animation was criticising their humor.

In a green house, Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Kenny had just finished filming a scene for the show. They were all relaxing on the couch as Kenny took his hood off.

"Oh, my god, I'm beat." Stan announced.

"We all are dude." Kyle retorted lazily.

"I didn't know we'd still be on now." Cartman spoke up.

"But it's not really surprising, considering we're so awesome!" Kenny responded.

The others smiled, "Oh yeah!"

The boys were interrupted from their relaxation when a cannonball crashed through the wall, just missing the four boys.

"Come out here and fight like men, you bastards!" a voice cried.

"AY!" Cartman exclaimed in rage, "What the hell are you doing to my house?!"

He and the others stepped outside, and were surprised to see the Griffin family in front of them in front of a tank.

"The Griffins?" Stan asked.

Kyle ran back inside, "I'll go call the others." He announced.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kenny asked.

"We've just watched 'Cartoon Wars', you cruel offensive sons of bitches!" Lois exclaimed, "You're more offensive than we are!"

"Don't call my mom a bitch, you slutty piece of crap!" Cartman retorted.

"What'd you say to my mom?" Meg came up to the boys.

At that moment Kyle ran up to them, "They should be here now."

"Who?" Brian had overheard.

"The cops?" Stewie added, before bursting into a fit of laughter, along with the rest of his family.

Suddenly, a pink sedan pulled over onto the drive. Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson emerged from the vehicle. They all approached the Griffins.

"Back away from the boys!" Homer demanded.

"The Simpsons?" Stewie realised in shock, "I thought they were on our side!"

"We're only on the same network, you dumbass!" Bart responded, "We want nothing to do with you bastards!"

"But The Simpsons Guy…"

"That was nothing more than a ratings grab!" Lisa informed, "And how dare you use a rape joke in front of our cameras!"

"It was pretty funny, though!" Peter countered in defense.

"Bullcrap!" Kenny exclaimed, "The Simpsons doesn't mention rape! EVER!"

"Why are you here, now?" Kyle asked, "That episode was made in, like, 2006! Nobody cares!"

"We do!" Lois cried, "We've just heard of your show!"

"Really?" Stan asked in disbelief, "Wow, they're more retarded than we thought!"

The South Park boys and the Simpsons began to have a laugh at Stan's statement, leaving the Griffins enraged.

"We'll get an ally to fight you bastards!" Peter then turned his attention to Homer, "Then we'll kill your family off once and for all!"

"Suck my balls, you jackasses!" Cartman cried, "You'll be off the air before any of us are!"

The Griffins left in their tank, frustrated that they were being insulted.

A while later, the family found a skyscraper that housed numerous well-known cartoon characters. They went to the top floor in order to talk to the boss of the building, and the company that housed it.

"Umm… hello?" Brian knocked on the door before opening it, letting him and the others enter. They saw a chair turned around to face the window. It was obvious that someone was in the chair, not concerned about the intrusion.

"So," the boss said, "It's come to this. Family Guy has requested my assistance."

"So how about it?" Lois asked.

"That's the problem. I'm willing to do it. For a price. You're a huge risk to this company in terms of defense, and I'm not going to be bankrupt cuz of an incompetent family."

"So…" Peter rubbed the back of his neck, "What do you want in return?"

"Should we save your asses, I demand half of the cash you make from then on. AND, only my men are to be in the battle. My other clients aren't going to be a part of this crappy argument."

"Deal. If we get to stay on that's not a problem."

"Well, Mr. Griffin. The deed is done."

"Thank you." Stewie thanked, "…Mr. SquarePants."

The boss rotated the chair, revealing none other than SpongeBob SquarePants, the president of the Nicktoons Network.

Ooh! It's getting better! Yes, SpongeBob IS involved. I'd imagine him to be the head of the Nicktoons Network.
Stay tuned for the next chapter, which WILL contain more Family Guy bashing.

Again, I'm a huge Family Guy fan, and this is to play around with the fourth wall.