Marry The Knight.
The inspiration for this came at a weird time in my life. I was waiting at the train station for my train to college, when the song came on. I was listening to it and on the platform opposite me, I could see this mom running after a child. Then, somehow, in my messed up head, this story was born.
This one-shot is dedicated to Miss-Invisible-Heartbreak, because hey, she is a complete sweetheart who loves Kames and thus, deserves this so badly. Plus.. Go check out her stories!
The song is Marry The Night by Lady Gaga.
James fell onto the bed, his body completely numb and heavy. Right now, it was as if his heart had been ripped out and then torn to pieces, only for someone to be sadistic enough to stitch it all back and throw it back into his chest, only to watch the seams fall apart and the happiness to fall apart.
It was sad really, pinning over a guy.
But it wasn't just some guy. It was Kendall Knight. His best friend from childhood, the only real guy in his life that's stuck by him through everything, his first man-on-man kiss, the same guy that took his virginity during a druken night..
The same druken night that started up their affair.
I'm gonna marry the night
I won't give up on my life
I'm a warrior queen
Live passionately tonight
James' head fell into his hands, the elbows propped on his knees. A small, hot tear ran down his cheek despite his best attempts. He could have tried harder, to you know, keep Kendall. But the affair grew tiresome for James. Kendall was amazing and everything, but the slight problem was the fact that not only did he never willingly accept his homosexuality as freely as James did, but that he went and got a girlfriend soon to be fiancee and now, ready to be Mrs Knight.
A sickening feeling rose in his stomach, his heart hammering against his chest harshly as more hot tears flew freely from his eyes. The same words Kendall would say everynight when they were sneaking behind his girlfriend's back.
"James, I'm not gay and I never will be. But with you.. It's.. Different. I don't see you as a gender like others. I see you as something different.. Something I love."
But it just wasn't enough.
By now, though, he was seriously regretting his decision. More than ever in fact.
I'm gonna marry the dark
Gonna make love to the stark
I'm a soldier to my own emptiness
I am a winner
A depressed sigh escaped his lips as he looked at his wardrobe, noticing the black tuxedo hanging on the door handle. Today was the big day. The day in which he was supposed to be standing next to the man he desperately loved, watching him kiss and put a ring on her finger. A finger that wasn't and most likely never would be his.
He had no idea why Kendall even asked him to be best man. Maybe it was like, some secret fetish. Maybe Kendall just enjoyed affairs. Maybe he liked to fuck with peoples' minds.
James didn't know, but at the same, he didn't protest.
Despite the hurt and the emotions and the love he had for this boy, he only wanted to see Kendall happy. If Jo could do that and James couldn't, well, he'd learn to get over.. Eventually.
He remembered the exact words Kendall said when he asked him to be best friend. The smile on his face, the twinkle in his radiant emerald eyes as his spoke lips spoke the words beautifully.
"James, we've been best friends forever. Without you by my side in the wedding, I don't think it'd be right. I need you, like, a lot."
Those words were sweet and painful at the same time. Best friends forever. Quick fuck and then lovers for a while. He forgot that part, but then again, maybe it was all behind him. Maybe James was behind. Maybe the wonderful nights in a seedy hotel room, sneaking into James' house so no-one saw, the love making in the middle of a park at midnight. Maybe he didn't want that anymore. Maybe he finally decided that being gay and loving your male best friend were the same thing.
He never knew and now, he most likely wouldn't.
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm not gonna cry anymore
I'm gonna marry the night
Leave nothing on these streets to explore
M-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
His eyes glanced away from the tuxedo, quickly making contact with the clock on his wall. 1:00pm. Kendall was going to get married in about half an hour. Well, that was when Jo was supposed to turn up, anyway. If she did, that is.
But holding onto hope it pointless.
By now, James had given up hope on Kendall. When Kendall was drunk that night and then proceeded to take James' virginity, it became a torturous awkward moment the next morning. Kendall apologised but James didn't care. His dream had become true. Then, Kendall left, leaving behind a heartbroken James.
He texted and called and messaged and stalked Kendall, all in the hopes that alcohol hadn't split the duo up.
Then, when he found him.. Kendall kissed him.
From there, an affair bloomed. Well, at the beginning it was a secret liason. Secret sex here, secret dates there. But after a while, Kendall gave in and told James he had a girlfriend. The worst part is, they were just more words burned into James' brain.
"Just because I'm with her, it, it doesn't change my feelings James. I still love you. It's just, I, I'm confused. I love you though, never doubt that for a second."
James grew past it and the meetings became an affair. James felt terrible and wonderful at the same time. The way Kendall kissed him, touched him, made him feel like a real diamond. It all managed to make him forget the potential damage he was causing Jo. Then again, he never liked her anyway so it didn't matter.
I'm gonna lace up my boots
Throw on some leather and cruise
Down the streets that I love
In my fishnet gloves
I'm a sinner
James remembered the moment Kendall told him. It lead to their first big argument that didn't involve stupid things that ignited the fuse. This time, it was down to Kendall wish to propose to Jo, but still keep the affair on the sidelines, so that he could have free pickings at his choice.
It was ridiculous.
So, James done what he done best. He went into town, went to a gay bar, got himself stupidly drunk and then made out with as many people he could find. Straight, gay, lesbian.. He didn't care. Neither did the drunks. He needed something to numb the pain, to numb the emotions the alcohol couldn't. Stupid, yes. Reasonable, yes.
But of course, somehow and ironically, James ended up at Kendall's doorstep.
Words were passed, tears were given and a kiss was shared.
That night, James made a promise. A promise to be by Kendall's side, no matter. To forget the relationship and focus on the friendship. It was a promise he made and a promise he was determined to keep, despite the pain he knew was following.
Then I'll go down to the bar
But I won't cry anymore
I'll hold my whiskey up high
Kiss the bartender twice
I'm a loser
Then, inspiration struck him. He had half an hour. Half an hour to get dressed into a tuxedo like he promised Kendall, run down there and confess his love. It could go either way, but really, he needed some hope to hold on to.
Hope that Kendall would abandon Jo at the alter and marry him.
It was only a dream, but still, it was only a dream of being with Kendall and that sure as hell happened.
James quickly threw the tuxedo on as quick as possible, shuffling himself into the clothes in a rushed state. He ran a hand through his hair, the fingers brushing through the locks to make them look great. He needed to make an impression, and well, messy hair was something that Kendall couldn't resist, particulary after sex.
"Your sex hair is amazing. I mean, it just reminds me that I do a good job."
Grabbing his keys and spraying a hefty amount of both Cuda products and body spray, he rushed out his bedroom and apartment, heading for the church down the road. Poetic really. The guy he loved was going to get married at a church, down the lover's road. Surely Kendall didn't think this though.
Either that, or back to a previous point, this was some sort of fetish to him.
The wind rushed against his body, the tuxedo flying around at a rapid pace. The harsh weather blew against his face, tinting his cheeks a pink and causing water to form in his eyes. He needed to move faster. He needed to stop it, to at least try and hold onto the man he loved with his heart.
Legs moving faster and more heavy breathing, the church came into distance, a large group of people still walking in. He caught the familiar sight of a white wedding dress train, realising that must be Jo going inside.
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm not gonna cry anymore
I'm gonna marry the night
Leave nothing on these streets to explore
M-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
Finally, he reached the building and heard the song. A song that struck his heart. It was the same song Kendall would play when they made love. The same song that brought the pair together and made them one. Kendall's favourite. A small smile peered on James' face, a single tear falling from his jawline. This one song brought back so many happy memories. Memories of a time where nobody and nothing could tear them apart.
Memories of Kendall standing up for James' against bullies.
Memories of James coming out to the blonde, his accepting behaviour and friendly hug.
Memories of that same night that brought them together.
Memories of their first real and not drunken kiss.
Memories of when Kendall first said he loved him.
Taking in a deep breath, James prepared himself. Prepared himself for either the greatest moment in his life or the biggest failure and rejection of his best friend. One of the other was going to happen, James just didn't know which.
Nothing's too cool
To take me from you
New York is not just a tan that you'll never lose
Love is the new denim or black
Skeleton guns are wedding bells in the attic
Get Ginger ready climb to El Camino front
Won't poke holes in the seats with my heels cause that's
Where we make love
Come on and run
Turn the car on and run
The doors swung open, James noticing the heads all turning around to face him, including the bride and groom themselves. He was flustered, with his pink cheeks and heavy breathing. The old people glared, younger people whispered and even the kids shared a giggle or two. Nobody knew what James was going to do, nobody except James.
James blinked a couple of times, reality hitting him. Kendall was stood up there, his perfect blonde fringe hanging down above his eyebrows, his green eyes twinkling in confusion. He looked beautiful. Strangely enough, so did Jo, who only passed James an annoyed look for disrupting her moment in the spotlight.
Taking another deep breath, James made his way down the altar, heading straight towards Kendall. The priest looked confused, passing looks between the oncoming man and the soon to be married couple.
"Excuse me, do you have a reason as to why these two aren't to be married?"
"Yes," James breathed, getting closer and closer to Kendall. "I love him, more than anything in this whole damn world and I know he loves me. Down in his heart, he's fighting against the reality of it all. But up here, in his mind through his beautiful eyes, I can see the way he looks at me. The way he analyses me. It's love, no matter what you say."
Kendall just looked on in shock. In a matter of seconds to saying 'yes' and sliding the single golden ring onto his new wife's finger, his world had fell apart. James had outed him. Worst thing was, everything the pretty boy uttered was true. He did analyse James with every move he made. He did stare too often. He did fall head over heels in love with the guy who he treated like a brother.
Kendall moved forward and ignoring the many gasps and cries of distress, he slammed his lips against James. Their lips moved in sync, perfect for each other. A small moan escaped James' mouth as he pulled away, realising that in fact, Kendall had kissed him.. At his wedding.
"I love you with all my heart." Kendall breathed.
Their foreheads pressed together as the crowd continued to look on in complete and utter confusion. By now, Jo had ran off crying, quickly followed by her bridesmaids and family. But they didn't care. Kendall's hand snaked down towards James', his fingers intertwining with the brunette's.
With their hands held together, they strode out the church, all eyes planted on them.
I'm gonna marry the night
I'm gonna burn a hole in the road
I'm gonna marry the night
Leave nothin' on these streets to explode
M-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
Oh m-m-marry m-m-m-marry m-m-m-marry the night
I'm gonna marry
Marry
I'm gonna marry
Marry
C'mon c'mon the night
The night
James was happy. Over the moon, really. He had got his man, despite all odds against him. And now, stood underneath a tree, reality was getting better and better.
"James, you are the one for me. I.. I tried to fight it. But, I gave in. I gave in to your looks, your charm, your personality, your everything.. Now.. I want to be your everything."
The golden ring was pushed onto James' finger, sitting perfectly against the skin as the lover's kissed once more.
Funny enough, James was now engaged and ready to marry his knight.
The ending is incredibly sucky.. My excuse? I got too carried away with the fluff and bleh. Tawnee, sweetie, I hoped you liked it!