The first day was hard, I ripped my pants but I kept going. I know that's what my district would want. I am from two after all, I'm supposed to be brave and strong. Really I'm terrified. I'm scared of not going home. I'm scared I'll die, I really am not ready to die.
I am truly ashamed of myself, killing people. I did not even have to be here, but here I am. I volunteered. That was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I was told I was the best. If I live I guess I'll be the "best", but not to me. To me I will be a murderer. I'm not that person. I am not going to live the rest of my life knowing I killed that little girl.
That's why when it was just me and her, that girl from ten. The one who had a family. She would be ok, I know she would. She is a fighter I was just trained. I have watched her the whole time. She never killed anyone.
That's why, when I see the terror in her eyes I bend down and stab myself with my own sword.
Know it is over. She is the best, not me, she will never be a murderer.