Disclaimer: I do not own Zach or Cammie
California King Bed
Arm in arm, Dusk to dawn
With the curtains drawn
And a little last night on these sheets
So how come when I reach out my fingers
It seems like more than distance between us
-Rihanna
(California King Bed)
Cammie, who lay on her cold side of the bed, reveled on how far she and her fiancé had come, but not in a good way. They'd drifted apart; it was obvious to the naked eyes. She thought about it every day, wondering if they would ever reconnect. She could remember when they were happy together, when things had been about as perfect as it could get.
They were pressed together, lying horizontally on the bed; their chests pressed together, his nose brushing hers, one arm wrapped around her back, the other sizing their hands. His soft calloused palm was larger than hers by miles, but her paler smaller one fit amazingly well in his.
They were always this close, impossible to separate, even for the slightest moment. They were so wrapped up in each other; they never knew what was going on in the world outside their relationship. They had their own world, and it was perfectly fine for the both of them. The veins on his wrist matched hers, almost identically, showing the same path that had somehow been laid out for the two of them. If she put hers next to his, the blue lines seemed to be identical.
She traced his lips, smiling as he smiled in his sleep, leaning into her touch. She sighed; wishing the rest of her life could go on like this, forever.
She didn't want it any other way. This was where she was meant to be.
She shivered internally, wondering what had happened. Sure, he was lying right next to her at the moment, inches apart, but it was different. It wasn't physical distance that was a problem. It was the emotional blade that she cut them away from each other. It was so hard to think about what they used to be and watch her life as it was now. And she hated it.
A hand began shaking her awake; his warm palm sending a familiar spark through her rested on her hip, drawing her towards him. She thought he might be asleep, or he just wanted to be close to her before she realized he was only trying to tell her something.
Cammie turned, looking up at him with a sleeplike gaze. "I'm going to work," he said, his voice holding none of the affection it had once always carried.
She nodded. He pressed a light to her forehead but it didn't mean anything, nothing more than an old habit. She turned to ask him something but with her hand outstretched, her fingers met the soft, empty sheets instead of Zach, and the warmth he had radiated was already gone.
She sighed, wondering where it all had gone wrong. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so lonely, or the last time her and Zach had had a meaningful conversation.
The bed seemed too big for just one person; like the other side of the bed had become a black hole where she was no longer welcome.
Cammie sat up, and felt tear prickling at her eyes, the light sheets falling to her waist. One lone tear slipped down her cheek, and suddenly there was a hand there, wiping it away. Her fiancé stood over her, looking down at her with an unfamiliar look, he crouched down to be eye-to-eye with her.
"Cam," Zach whispered softly. "I love you."
Her name on his lips felt forced. She couldn't help but think that he hadn't used his outdated nickname for her. She'd always found it annoying before but she would do anything now just to hear him say it.
Before she could return the words to him, the moment was gone, quicker than she could have imagined and she was left wondering if it was a dream.
She threw the sheets off, feeling undeniably angry.
"I hate this," she whispered through her tears, aware that no one was listening. She looked at the ice cold diamond ring that no longer seemed to shine on her left hand ring finger.
"What happened?" she asked the empty room. "What did I do?"
Still looking at the ring, she slid it off, setting it on the nightstand next to her bed.
"I don't want this anymore."
She reached for the blank pad of paper that had always sat on the nightstand, untouched. Her shaky hands picked up the ball point pen that had been buried in the drawer under stacks of junk.
Zach, she wrote.
I don't know what happened. Maybe you do. Was it me? Was it you? I feel like one day we just woke up and everything was different.Youwere different. I want to believe that we can still make this work. But ifI'm going to be honest, I don't think it can. Whatever we had is gone, I wish it wasn't, but just chasing after it seems like a lost cause. I love you. But sometimes, that just isn't enough. Not for us anyway. I'm giving your ring back. I'll be gone by the time you read this. I'm tired of this. I'm not happy anymore. I don't want to get married. I don't want the rest of my life to be spent with a pit in my stomach wondering if we were really meant to be together. As someone once said, if you love something let it go, if it comes back, its meant to be. I believe that. So I'm letting you go, and who knows if we ever meet up again and fall in love once more— I won't let you go then. But for now, I can't deal with this pain that is beginning to kill me. I love you.
Even if it isn't enough,
Cammie
She set the pen down and tore the paper out of the pad and set it on the cold bed.
"I wish it was enough," she said, and went to her closet and began to pack.
Hours later as she was gathering her designer shoes Macey had bought for her since their Christmas' in high school, she felt the presence of someone behind her.
"You're supposed to be at work," Cammie said without turning around— she didn't want to face him. The tears she thought she had run dry resurfaced, but she continued to pile shoes into their designated boxes.
"What the hell is this?" he asked, and she knew he had read the note, she could hear the paper wrinkle in his fist.
"You read it didn't you?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore."
"Why are you leaving?" he asked, and she could hear his voice go hoarse. "What happened?"
Cammie shook her head and swiveled her head to glance his face. "I wish I knew."
"Well if you don't know and I sure as hell don't . . . then who does?"
Cammie shrugged, unable to speak, looking at his face. His eyes were angry and hurt, a frown on the lips she used to frequently kiss. "Cupid?" Cammie guessed.
"This isn't a joke, Cam," Zach said, his voice firm, his eyes weak and troubled.
"I know," she whispered. "But if we act like it is, is doesn't hurt as much."
He continued to stand in the doorway of her walk in closet, leaning against the doorjamb for support.
"I don't want to lose you."
Cammie shook her head, feeling defeated, "I think you already have."
"Don't leave." His voice came out uneven, and she saw his hands were silently shaking.
"It will only get worse if I stay," she turned around to continue packing, unable to keep looking at his broken face. She heard his quite footsteps as he came to stand over her.
"We can make it work."
She turned her head to see he had sat down beside her, looking at her with pleading eyes.
"It's just not meant to be."
"How can you say that?" He said his voice rising higher than she would have dared to speak. "I love you."
Cammie sniffled. "I thought you read the note," she said. "It's just not enough."
"Then what is?" he asked. "What do I have to do to make you stay?"
"We can't just fix it. We have to let it fix itself."
"Like hell we do," Zach said. His eyes blazed. "This relationship isn't going to work if we just let fate play its part. Cam, you've gotto work at relationships. Otherwise they won't work."
"We have worked at it," she cried. "And it still isn't working. Zach I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore."
"Do what? Love me? We have a great life. I don't see what the problem is."
Cammie took a breath. "You honestly haven't noticed a difference?" She questioned. "You haven't noticed that we barely talk anymore, we haven't had sex in months, you are always out."
"Cammie—"
"I'm by myself, all the time. I'm neglected. When you're doing god knows what."
"What do you think I'm doing?" he asked. "Do you think I'm cheating on you?"
"No. Yes— I don't know. It's not like we talk anymore."
"I love you," he repeated. His voice dropped several octaves. "Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
She shook her head and refused to meet his eyes. "It doesn't matter!"
"Yes it does."
"No, Zach, it doesn't; if it did, we wouldn't be in this mess."
She felt him rest his palm on her arm. Their gazes locked and he his eyes intensified as he looked at her with desperation shining in his eyes.
"I'll quit my job. I'll stay with you every second of everyday. I'm not going to lose you— now or ever. I love you Cameron Ann Moran. We're going to get married and continue are life together," he said in a quiet, fierce tone.
"You'd do that?" she asked after a moment of silence. "You'd quit your job?" She knew it was unrealistic, but it was a comfort all the same.
"Yes," he sighed. A smile tugged at his lips. "You're my Gallagher girl."
The tears Cammie had struggled to hold back were pouring down her face, soaking her skin, but she couldn't help but some. Zach put his arms around her waist pulling her into his embrace.
She released the anger and doubt she'd been holding onto and sunk into his arms, finally feeling the familiar spark and affection that it had once brought her. She hole in her heart was being sewn back together. She rested her head against his chest.
"I don't want to leave," she spoke quietly.
His lips pressed to her hair. His answer was simple.
"Then don't."
She managed to smile into his tear-soaked shirt. "It's enough."
She felt Zach stiffen in confusion. "What is?"
"Loving me, and loving you. It's enough. It's always been enough."
"I know. I was just waiting for you to catch up," he teased.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For waiting."
AN: Ok so if this seems familiar, it because it is. This was originally in my song fic collection but I wanted to move it because I really like this one shot and I thought it deserved it's own story. Sorry If you thought it was new.
Thanks for Reading :)