A/N: Froststar423 (Frosty) and I (Reef) are writing a fan fiction together. TOGETHER WE SHALL RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!! Therefore, there will be two types of fonts. One will be bold, which will be Froststar, and regular font will be me, Maranareef.
Cutting in: Me! Okay, so am I the only one wondering about this crazy immigrant that goes around "helping/enslaving" the inhabitants of the odd bilingual world of today? I mean, talking backpacks and maps are a stretch, but honestly. BILINGUAL talking backpacks and maps!!!! Really!
So in case you haven't noticed, this is a Dora the Explorer rant. /end authors note
~*~
To start this off, Dora the Explorer is a children's show based on teaching 2-5 year olds how to be bilingual-
- and how to be a dorky explorer!!!
--cough- Um, thanks, Frosty. Aaaanyway, I doubt that little children will be able to learn a full language when Dora only uses it in dire situations, like when she can't find the tree or lake that's right behind her.
Speaking of things behind her- SWIPER! Okay, a little backstory:
Swiper: *"creeping up" on Dora (who is like, five, CREEPY!)*
Dora: Do YOU see Swiper?
Viewer: Nope. Obviously this show cannot cure my blindness.
Swiper: *is like, in front of Dora*
Dora: I don't see Swiper! Do you?
Viewer: Must I repeat myself?! I am *uses colorful language*
Swiper: Haha! *grabs Boot's boots (stupid name, btw)*
Boots: NOOOOO! HE'S STOLEN MY IDENTITY!!! *runs away crying*
Swiper: *throws boots like, flippin' behind them* HA! NOW YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Dora: Oh no!
~~ Get the picture? Swiper= terrible thief AND a terrible sneaker. More on the rotten little blue (I'm not racist) dude later.
(Just to say so, we are watching the Wiggles and I'm afraid my brain will either explode or rot if I continue to watch it.)
Anyway, Swiper IS a pretty pathetic thief. I think Dora needs to get her eyes checked if she can't see that Swiper threw the book/boots/map right behind her. If she shows up on the next show wearing huge nerd glasses, I won't be surprised.
I know, right? Now, as promised: the freakish blue dude. *Sigh* This monkey, is very likely a mythical dragon, escaped from the Middle Ages, hiding in the body of a blue monkey. Well, I once thought this, but I have a new answer. IT'S DORA'S FAULT!!!! Basically- well, you know those stars Dora enslaved? She wished upon one of those, and, after torturing it, she had a dragon. Still, those parents of hers had to draw a line somewhere, you know? So, after pitching a HUGE fit, she eventually convinced her parents to turn the dragon into a monkey. A BLUE monkey. I mean no offense to any dragons out there! Boots is not a great character. I haven't found out what happened with the transformation, but Boots turned into a wimp. Sorry.
What an insult to dragons everywhere! You know I have a thing for them. If I had a dragon, I wouldn't waste my time trying to turn him into blue monkey who thinks he's brave or super smart or something just because he's bilingual or something. I should find a nice little therapist to refer him to-
NOOO! NO THERAPISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Ehhem. AS I WAS SAYING, I should find a nice therapist to-
!!!!
-*says it really fast* . I think that he would be excited to go sit in a padded room and vent out all of his problems. They would probably go something like this:
Boots: "Swiper stole my boots…"
Therapist: "And how did that make you feeeeeeel?"
Boots: "Scared! And then he threw them over my head and-"
Therapist: "And how did that make you feeeeeel?"
Boots: "Um, kind of worried that he would hit me. But then he laughed at me and ran away!"
Therapist: "And how did that make you feeeeeel?"
Boots: -has a psycho tantrum and screams, he stands, still in the straight jacket, and attempts to attack the therapist, who runs around saying, "And how does this make you feeeeeel?"
I'll tell you what, Bob the Builder has some issues to, what with Wendy who does… um, NOTHING! And the tools-
-Uh, isn't that for another rant, Frosty?
Oh yeah. Okiedokie. THE TOOLS DO EVERYTHING!!! HE DOES NOTHING!!!!!! CAN WE BUILD IT??? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ENOUGH! If you want to end up like that therapist up there, keep going! :[
Omg, guess what?
What the heck do you want now?!
Look! Penguin. (") Is it pretty, or what?
Or what.
Uhhh. I don't get it.
I think you have serious problems. I know what would fix it. Go start a kids show about bilingual children with blue monkeys and talking objects with animal friends. OHWAIT. That's what we were SUPPOSED to be talking about!
Good point. I shall go back on topic. I think I'll call it: The Bilingual Show!!!! Would you guys watch it?
I think I'm going to end the rant here, seeing as Frosty- AHHHHHGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! -head explodes-
Dang it. Bob the Builder came on and her brain exploded. Sorry. Ew, do I have to clean that up?