Luna's Little Adventure
A/N – The first thing is that anything recognizable from the Harry Potter universe is the property of JK Rowling and her various corporate partners. The second thing is that the background of this story is in the same set of stories as 9th Day and some of my other recent one-shots and mentions the fact that Harry, Hermione, and Luna are all happily married to each other. If that's going to offend you, sorry about that.
The inspiration for this story came while I was watching one of those 'In Search of…' shows on television where some guy drags a camera crew around the world looking for historical artifacts while selling car insurance. (Well the commercials were selling insurance, but that's neither here nor there). No disrespect is intended towards anyone's religious beliefs, or lack thereof by this story, and the movie being referenced is 'Raiders of the Lost Ark', for those of you living under a rock for the past thirty years (Has it really been that long? Sheesh). And now, on with Luna's Little Adventure …
Chapter One – Tastes Like Chicken
31 August, 2017 – Room of Lost Things, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry
"Hey, Bunny-nose."
Looking up in exasperation from the pile of stuff she was sorting in the Room of Lost Things, Luna Lovegood-Potter arched an eyebrow and stared at her husband.
"Harry James Potter. Is that anyway for the Ministry's Chief Auror to address the Assistant Headmistress of Britain's premier institution of magical learning?" Placing what appeared to be either an Etruscan funeral urn or a commemorative cider jug from Hogsmeade's fall festival a few years ago gently back on the floor, she straightened up with a small groan and placed her hands on her hips.
"What would the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement say?"
Smirking, Harry sauntered through the piles of stuff that littered the room and gave his wife a quick kiss. After kissing her on the lips and then on the aforementioned nose, he chuckled.
"Hermione would have probably said 'Hey, sex-kitten bunny-nose', but that's neither here nor there." Smiling at the twinkle in her eyes as Luna thought about the third member of their triad, Harry looked around the room at the amount of stuff that could accumulate in over a millennium.
"Looking for anything specific or just looking?"
"I'll give you the same answer that I give you when we're out shopping with the girls, Mister. I'll know when I find it."
Smiling impishly, Luna pulled her wand out from behind her ear and waved it at a couple of sarcophagi that were leaning precariously against a couple of tapestries that were rolled up with what looked like neon green duct tape.
The moving sarcophagi revealed an alcove in the side of the room, previously hidden from view. Sitting on what appeared to be a pair of sawhorses was a box that appeared to be made of gold.
A bit over three and a half feet in length, the box was about two and a half feet high with an ornate molding around the top. On the side of the box Harry could see a couple of rings that appeared to be attached securely to the box, looking as if they were waiting for a pole to be inserted between them to facilitate carrying the box.
At the one end, what appeared to be the ornately decorated cover of the box, complete with golden statures of two winged beings facing each other leaned against the box.
Looking over at his wife in disbelief, Harry pointed at the box. "Is that…" Trailing off, Harry was totally unprepared for Luna's excited "Oh goody, there it is."
Skipping over, Luna conjured a small step stool for herself, climbed up on it and looked down into the box with a smile on her face reminiscent of a kid at Christmas. Or reminiscent of Luna at Christmas for that matter. Just as she was about to reach down and grab the box to help stabilize herself, Harry shouted.
"Luna, if that's what I think it is, you shouldn't touch that." Getting ready to cast a spell to summon the impetuous blonde away from the artifact, Harry was totally gobsmacked by the look on Luna's face.
"Harry, don't be silly." Placing her off hand on the edge of the box, she raised and eyebrow as Harry winced. "You've been watching way too many old movies on the late night telly again."
Moving closer to the box, Harry watched dubiously as his wife rooted through the box looking for something. "You can't blame me, it looks just like …" Trailing off, as he felt a bit foolish, Harry shook his head.
"Sorry about that. What would the Ark of the Covenant be doing at Hogwarts?"
"Well, I suppose it has to be somewhere," Luna began as she stuck her head inside the box which was, apparently, a bit bigger on the inside than it was on the out. "Be a love and hold onto me, I'd hate to fall headfirst into this thing and break something."
Dutifully putting his hands on her waist, Harry could look over the edge as Luna was moving stuff around. Feeling a bit uneasy as he noticed a pair of stone slabs with runes carved into them, a wooden rod, and a gold covered earthenware container along with a dozen or so scrolls, Harry warily watched as his wife sorted through the scrolls.
"Are you certain this is safe?"
"Harry, if this box was going to blast me into smithereens for not being a Levite, and a male Levite at that, it would have done it when I put these scrolls in here for safekeeping a couple of years ago." Leaning further, she chortled in glee.
"Found it."
Standing back up, Luna grinned maniacally as she brandished the scroll as if it were the greatest discovery every made. Waiting until Harry was paying attention; she leapt from the step stool, wrapped her arms and legs around Harry and kissed him soundly.
"What was that for?" Smiling as Luna tightened her legs around him, pulling them closer together, he slid his hands under her bum to help support her. "And what were you looking for anyway?"
"The kiss was for being so adorably protective," Luna proclaimed smugly as she kissed him on the cheek again. "But I can take care of myself."
Hopping down, she brandished the scroll with a flourish. "This is a listing of all the Stubby Boardman sightings from 1984 through 2005." Tilting her head to the side for a second, she smiled dreamily.
"I was going to go over them to see if there were any patterns that could be discerned so I could predict the start of his next comeback tour."
Seeing the disbelieving look on Harry's face, she giggled. "Also, I scribbled down Daddy's version of Mum's recipe for haggis in one of the margins so I was going to work on it to surprise Hermione with at the next Burns Supper."
Shaking his head in disbelief, Harry looked around for a moment. "Need any help putting things back?"
Nodding, Luna took her wand and began to raise the heavy ornate lid from the ground. "Guide this into place for me? Those sawhorses are none too sturdy and I'd hate to get the lid on crooked and have the whole thing topple over."
Guiding the surprisingly heavy lid into place, Harry's eyes narrowed when the lid settled into place with a rush of displaced air. Helping Luna put the two sarcophagi back in place to screen the box from casual view; he dusted off his hands as they were finished.
"Good thing that wasn't the real one," Harry commented as he slid his arm around Luna's waist as they headed for the exit. "Could be nasty if some inquisitive students happened across the real thing."
"Nonsense," was Luna's reply as they reached the door. Rising up on tiptoe to kiss Harry's cheek, she smiled lovingly at him.
"Back in the day, it was instant death for someone to touch the Ark," she explained. "Now, however, the real Ark's purpose is different. No longer housing the essence of God, it's a box. A very expensive and historically significant box, but it wouldn't be a death ray weapon or death trap. Grendelwald and his muggle flunky spent all that time and money searching for the Ark before World War II broke out and it wouldn't have done them any good if they'd found it."
Chuckling at the thought, Luna closed the door with the scroll and watched as it faded away. Heading up the hall, arm in arm with Harry, she was whistling a jaunty tune when she suddenly stopped and smacked herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand. Reaching into her jeans pocket, she pulled out a bit of string and wrapped it around her little finger.
"Forget something?"
Sighing and resting her head against Harry, Luna waited until they had started back down the hallway before answering. "I always forget when I'm in there. Next time I have to get something out of there, I'm going to have to remember to check one thing."
As they started down the steps from the seventh floor to head back to her office, Harry looked at her quizzically. Sensing him looking at her, Luna just smiled mysteriously and answered.
"I've always wanted to know, but I never remember to check while I'm in there. Does manna taste like chicken?"